People I Hate at the Gym

I have been spending a lot of time at the gym, specifically Orangetheory. Many articles will tell you different statistics about how many people give up on their News Year Resolutions within 2/4/6 weeks, but no matter what you read, that means the people still sticking around on February 17th are likely there for the long haul. And unfortunately… I HATE SOME OF Y’ALL.

Here are a few categories of people I wish would quit the gym.

Unnecessary Noise People

Why? Honestly, is it necessary? Because I see you lifting half the weight as me, and there is no reason for you to be grunting. If your weight choice is actually so difficult that your body releases an uncontrollable sound every time, perhaps you need to scale back. Now, let’s talk a little about jumping noises, too. I do not mean the actually sound of jumping. I mean the tiny little yelp that is 100% unnecessary every time you jump side to side or forward and back. There is someone who does this every class. I (kindly) call her “bird sex girl” because it sounds like a teeny tiny parakeet having vigorous reproductive fun for 30 seconds at a time. Once, I was on the treadmill as it was going on, and I thought it was a malfunction on my treadmill and the belt was coming loose but no, bird sex on the floor behind me.

People Who Won’t Swallow Their Water

You heard it here first: water is for hydration. Groundbreaking. Things water is not for: stagnant mouth-holding. Teeth-cleaning. Swishing around. This one is just extra disgusting to me. Why are you walking around the studio with your mouth full of bacteria-laden liquid? It makes no sense. What if someone accidentally knocks you? What happens to the water, then? Just take the water in your mouth and swallow it. This requires no additional explanation.

Every-Weight-In-This-Gym-Is-Mine People

It’s happened to me too – the coach explains an exercise, and you realize you want a 20-pound weight, but your rack doesn’t have one. What do you do? Look around, maybe ask a neighbor to borrow, or just attempt a lower weight with more reps or a higher weight with less reps. What do you not do? Go to someone else’s weight rack and just grab a few. Do you have no home training? If something is not yours, you ask permission. With a “please” and a “may I?” I learned that in kindergarten playing “Mother, may I?” The second these people hit the weight floor it’s like all common courtesy leaves their mind as they are only thinking “MUST FIND A 20-POUND DUMBELL ASAP.” Come on, guys, be normal.

Chatty Cathys

Surprisingly, this is usually the men. They come with their bros and love to just ham it up picking the largest weights on the rack, and usually do the exercises incorrectly. You may be curious how they are doing the exercise wrong when the coach demos every single exercise and little video-people are also demo-ing on the screens all around the room. Well… it’s because they’re too busy chit-chatting to watch a demo, and they think they know best. Don’t get me wrong, I love to work out with a friend. It’s way more fun to have a buddy in class, to shoot “kill me” looks at them when the coach casually throws 10 burpees into a workout. I even sing along to the playlist (often) and congratulate my treadmill-neighbors when they hit a top speed on an all-out. But don’t talk over a demo, it’s disrespectful to the coach and the other participants.

Forrest Gump

Run, Forrest, Run!!! But actually, please don’t. One of the main tenets of Orangetheory is that you’re supposed to keep your heart in the orange zone, not run as fast and as hard as you can the entire time. Each day’s template is designed to maximize your effort and include recoveries. The coach should not need to come over to you 6 times to tell you to stop running. Usually in class while you are walking, the coach is speaking and explaining the next block. If you are running, your treadmill is loud and no one else can hear. And who are you really showing off to? No one cares and it is not a race. There are no medals. If you really want to run nonstop, there are miles and miles of street throughout New York City. In fact, the studio is only one block from Central Park! SEE YA.

The Ones Who Forgot Their Shirts

I admit, most of this is jealousy. I wish I had A. the confidence to not wear a shirt in public and B. the boobs to carry it off. I will be honest, my jealousy distracts me. I love a good matching gym set, but when I just see boobs out of the corner of my eye, it’s hard to look away. I can’t even shame though because honestly, they usually look good. Maybe after all of these weeks at Orangetheory I’ll feel confident without a shirt, too. And the best part – it’s less laundry!

Smelly People

I understand we all didn’t leave our houses for over a year. At home, it didn’t matter if you stank. No one was there to judge you. All the way back in July 2020, they reported that deodorant sales plummeted and ice cream sales soared. Maybe you never raised your arms at home because you sat at your laptop all day. Maybe you didn’t realize that your dog stopped hanging around by your desk. But you absolutely need to be self-aware again if you plan on working out vigorously in close proximity to other humans. A mask can only help incrementally. Unless the entire membership of Orangetheory gets symptomatic Covid and collectively loses their sense of smell simultaneously, you absolutely must do something about it. And until you do, I will give you the stink eye (literally) every time you do an overhead press.

There are probably some annoying people I missed, let me know in the comments.

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Braiding Marathon

I have written a lot on my blog about marathons. Half-marathon training, full marathon training, marathon-running. Even marathon-DRINKING. But this year, I’m writing about a whole different kind of marathon: a marathon of braiding.

Yes, you read that right. 10 days ago, I braided for 19 hours. 2 days, 21 people, 49 braids.

If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you know I started a side hustle in 2018 called Braid in Manhattan. Since my tiny little blog post in July of 2018, I’ve built a website, a Yelp page, a Tik Tok, and an Instagram with nearly 4,000 followers. But due to the unfortunate timing of Covid, I never really had a chance to scale my side hustle the way I wanted. The last thing I wanted to do over the last 18 months was be in close proximity to strangers’ faces for extended periods of time. But recently I started feeling a little better about contact, and I knew it was time to get back on my braiding game.

I had done a few events over the past season, a 10-year-old’s birthday party, a woman who was trying something new with her hair for the humidity, and a few people going to the Electric Zoo music festival. My goal was to try and get 8-10 clients for the New York Marathon. I felt better about braiding for the marathon because I got my Covid booster and I knew that 100% of the runners were vaccinated and/or recently tested.

Back in 2018 for the NYC Marathon, I worked at a braid bar event associated with a running fitness studio. It was 7 braiders and a whirlwind of fun. Since then, running and braiding hair have gone hand in hand.  A professional runner, Colleen Quigley, started the “Fast Braid Friday” movement celebrating strong runners and associating them with braided hair. It’s a cross-cultural phenomenon about celebrating the concept of “look good, feel good” (and run fast). Plus, it’s functional because it keeps hair out of your face while racing. I started to get a following of runners on my Instagram, which is never what I intended with my brand. I started my company to focus on special event hairstyling, more boho and romantic looks. But it turns out that “athletic” braiding is a niche no one else seemed to be filling, and it turned out that I was quick and good at it!

With the lead-up to the marathon fast-approaching, I had 6 clients locked in and it was crunch time to meet my goal. Then, one Wednesday I was sitting on the couch watching Ted Lasso with Chris when my phone started BLOWING UP. I was getting emails. I was getting inquiries through my “contact me” page on my website. I was getting Instagram DMs. Facebook messages. I looked at Chris and I said … “I think I’m going viral.”

Sure enough, a woman who booked me for her own hair was in a Facebook group for people running the NYC Marathon, and someone posted asking for a hair recommendation. The woman who had booked me earlier in the day mentioned my company and BAM. The rest is history. I spent the next 3-4 days replying to people, scheduling on 45-minute intervals, and trying to organize the styles everyone wanted in spreadsheets. I was originally charging by time, but it got so impossible to organize that I ended up charging a flat fee toward the end. I needed an assistant!!

I had two weeks’ notice before the big event, and luckily I had all of my supplies with the exception of elastics. In earlyyy 2020, I was supposed to braid at a hair show with the brand StyleFactor, and the hair show was cancelled, but they’ve been sending me boxes of product every since! I have cases of edge control, which is generally used for more textured hair, but also works wonders to make styles stay through 26.2 miles. This stuff does not budge! I also have fitting foam and hair spray, all of which contribute to a super long-lasting style. I’ve had multiple people wear my racing styles for over a week!

I placed an order on Amazon for my favorite rubber band hair elastics, and I even reached out to my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE hair tie brand and asked if they wanted to collaborate with me. TIY (tie it yourself) is another woman-owned start-up and Andrea, the owner and founder, is the best. Sure enough, she said YES! She said I could take some photos and videos for her, and she would send me enough TIY’s to give to each one of my clients. The results were amazing. Also, she sent all orange, so it was easy to “spot the knots” throughout the race course, which is their motto.

The Friday before the marathon, I got to work. I had a client from Germany. From Seattle. From Philadelphia. From Austin. From Boston. From Naples. People running with their friends they met in online Facebook groups. People running with their husbands they met in running clubs. People running with Type 1 Diabetes who were running for a charity to support Diabetes research. People running for charities to support mental health support for family members of people with cancer. People running with run clubs. People running their first marathons. And one person running their final (6!) world major marathon. The stories were all so incredibly inspiring.

I wrote to all of the women who I braided and they have been writing reviews on my Yelp and Facebook, but better yet, they’ve been sending me all of their post-race medal photos in their braids and I am just KVELLING with pride.

Was standing for 19 hours difficult? Yes. Was my back killing me because I am ancient-years-old? Also, yes. But was I enthralled all weekend listening to the stories of women from around the world who waited 2 years to run the streets of my home city??? Also YES. It ALMOST makes me want to run a marathon again. ALMOST. But even more so, it makes me want to travel to another marathon to braid more hair! Where should I go next?? Berlin? Chicago? Boston?

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My OTHER Pandemic Addiction: Peloton

I am officially addicted to my Peloton. How addicted? Well, I’m currently on a train to Philadelphia and not only am I typing a blog about it, but I’m thinking about how much I miss my bike already. I made sure I did my core workout and cycling class before I got on the train. And I’m already excited about showing my mom all of the classes on the app. Also, I almost switched my trip because I found out it was Peloton Homecoming this weekend and I was going to miss it.

Even if you are not a pelo person, unless you live under a rock, you definitely know about it. It’s every other commercial on Youtube and Hulu. And you probably know the age-old joke, “how do you know someone has a Peloton? … they’ll tell you.” However, it didn’t always used to be like that. I started going to Peloton class in 2016 in person in the studio! This was WAY before the pandemic and I loved it even back then. In fact, I even wrote a blog about it! Actually, I wrote two from when I rode in the showroom in LA on a work trip. A lot has changed since then. It’s become much more bougie and the production value has increased. The instructors wear FULL makeup and matching Peloton clothes now, and they have bulked up and multiplied. Hundreds of thousands of more people have bikes. But the main reasons I fell in love with it still stand: the bike is super high quality, the community’s motivating, and the playlists are FIRE.

Pre-pandemic, people asked me if I’d ever buy a bike and I said I would never buy one in NYC but maybe if I moved. This was because of the availability of high-quality classes within proximity. But with Covid and studio closures, I really missed spin class. When I got my bike in February, it had been 11 months since I had been on a bike!

Before I took the plunge (the bike is $1800 plus $39/month subscription cost), I did a lot of research. I never take any purchases lightly, but even more than the cost, I wanted to love it. I had a few friends who went the alternative route, buying a regular bike from Amazon and then getting the cheaper Peloton membership at $12/month and riding that way. But the instructors teach to the Peloton bike specifically, using a “resistance” number that is based on their bike. When you take a class on demand, it pops up on the screen where your resistance should be and the bike also shows where you are within that range. That helps for me because sometimes I zone out on what the instructor is saying and I miss the cue. Ok, that happens a lot because I’m singing and dancing. Pretty much every class. I absolutely LOVE the music! I pick my classes by instructors who I know have the same taste in music as me. But Peloton also lets you preview all of the music beforehand. Most times I like a quick overview of the artists but I like to be surprised by the full playlist. They also have artist series, which is so fun. Last week I did the Usher ride and was jamming out the whole time. I’ve done Lauryn Hill, Beyonce, Monica v. Brandy, and many more. I have a favorite instructor (#TeamCody), but I dabble with a lot of others depending on my mood. I even did a barre class recently because it was a hip hop playlist. I usually hate barre but I sort of forgot because I was busy jamming to Trina.

Another reason I’m obsessed with Peloton: the STATS! Peloton keeps track of every one of your workouts, your averages, your PRs (personal records), and you are constantly racing yourself. I am a huge stats nerd and this is one of my biggest motivators. I love to see how well I can do in a class. I am not a competitive person, but when I’m having an off day and I’m feeling unmotivated, seeing that I still burned 300 calories in a low impact class gives me a great sense of accomplishment. 300 more than zero!

I have also found that the different class lengths have completely changed my mindset around workouts. Pre-pandemic, I felt like I wasn’t getting in a good workout unless I did at least an hour at the gym. But sometimes now I am not motivated, or my legs are sore, or I’m just having a bad day. I can hop on the bike for a 20-minute low impact ride between meetings or at 5:30 and I’m still showered by 6. Also, I always feel better after. Just yesterday I made a call for work. He said he couldn’t talk but asked if I could call back in 15 minutes. I said sure, popped on a 10-minute core workout, then called him back.

Speaking of core workouts, I never used to do them because I was scared and intimidated, but the app has so much content that I have been tempted to try a lot of new things. Last month, I did a challenge with Matty Maggiacamo called March Maggic, and it was 5 days of 20-minutes strength workouts all month, with different muscle groups every day. The 20-minute workouts seemed very easy to fit into my life (sometimes after a cocktail, oops), and I did 400 minutes of strength that I never would have done. In April, I did a program called “Crush Your Core” with Emma Lovewell. Did I feel like I crushed my core? No. I crushed my ego and I felt weak as hell. But I did do 2 1-minute planks on Wednesday and I definitely couldn’t do that a month ago.

The main reason I got a Peloton versus a “faux-loton” is because I wanted to spin with my friends! I miss my gym community SO MUCH. And since the pandemic, a lot of my old cycling peeps have gotten Pelotons. I have multiple group chats on Facebook and Instagram where we plan to take certain rides together, or do a long 100-minute ride on a Sunday. I love seeing my friends “on the leaderboard” and giving them incessant high fives. There’s nothing better than being there to witness a friend scoot by you and achieve a PR. (#HighFive!!!) There is even an option to video chat while the class is going on, but I haven’t quite mastered that yet. Plus, I’m usually wearing a sports bra and no shirt (why bother, I’m in my bedroom!) so I don’t love my friends checking in on my sweaty self.

The weird thing about my Peloton obsession is, I got the 3-month free trial of the Peloton app when I was in Texas and I only did 3 classes in 3 months. Now, it’s normal for me to do 3 classes in a day! I’m not sure what changed, but I love the variety. I also feel a bit more like my normal life living in my own apartment, so I can prioritize my workouts more than I could in Texas when I wasn’t living in my own space. I’ve done 206 workouts since I got the bike on February 9th: 112 cycling classes, 50 strength classes, 39 stretch classes, and a few outdoor runs and walks.

I was nervous I wouldn’t get my money’s worth, but that is certainly not a worry anymore. I put the bike in our bedroom so it is literally the last thing I see before I go to sleep, and the first thing I see when I wake up. The real question is, will I continue to use it after the gyms open back up? I’m not sure but I definitely think so. It’s so easy and I love it. Also, I can ride with my friends all over the country. Do you have a Peloton bike or work out on the app? Drop your LB name in the comments!

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Home Fitness Workouts I Love

Last week I posted about the types of classes and instructors that annoyed me, but this week, I am going to write about something more positive and more useful – the workouts I love!

Specifically, below I will link you to my favorite instructors and classes, and I’ll give you the quick rundown for why they are simply the best during quarantine. This post is a doozy, I apologize for my verbosity. Bookmark it and come back to it when you’re ready to work out!

RECAP from last week. Things you will not find in my recommendations: instructors who yell at you or call you out. Things you will find: positive rays of light with fun, engaging workouts and BOMB playlists. Here we go!

Mark Kanemura

Where to find him: Instagram @mkik808

When to find him: 5 pm ET, varies by week but usually always Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and they stay up on his IG for 24 hours after. After that, you’re out of luck, they aren’t saved anywhere.

What you can expect: The most fun dance party ever. He doesn’t even call it a workout, he calls it a party and that’s exactly what it is. But you will also burn calories, get a sweat on, and have a hell of a time. The party usually lasts 30-40 minutes, begins with a warm-up, and then goes into 4-5 semi-choreographed routines. They include moves like “sprinkler,” “Tiger King,” “Robot,” and “Clap for the doctors cheer for the nurses.” There are also more conventional moves like grapevines. He has a few signature phrases like “bake those cakes, put those cakes in the oven” (aka squats) and “pump it for Jesus” (aka body rolls).

His wardrobe is UNMATCHED. I’m talking rainbow EXTRAVAGANZA. Crop tops, cutoff shorts, and neon leotards. And every live usually concludes with a wig-change and confetti. There are rainbow flags, capes, fans, disco balls, you name it. It is a legit CELEBRATION.

My favorite part of his workout is his ATTITUDE. OMG y’all, Mark comes to SLAY. His huge laugh makes me laugh. He smiles the entire times as he switches sunglasses 7 times. He tells us “you are enough,” “you are KILLING it.” He is very honest about mental health and sometimes admits when he is having a hard day. He says “it’s ok to not be ok,” and always reminds us to “be gentle to ourselves.” There are no expectations. He always says that if you feel like just watching and sitting on the couch, that’s ok too. But within 3 minutes, you’ll be up because his energy is contagious.

I should warn you he’s usually 5-7 minutes late, but y’all, he’s doing this FOR FREE so I cut him some slack.

This reminds me, his workouts are 100% free but he mentioned his Venmo/Paypal for the first time last week. Since his parties are the best part of my day and I have danced with him about 45 times since quarantine began (he used to have dance parties 7 days a week), I sent him a donation. It is by no means expected but if you feel inclined, I’m sure he would appreciate it. The photo below is all from one single dance party. And it wasn’t even all of his costume changes!

Amanda Kloots

Where to find her: FREE on Instagram Live (and IGTV Channel), Youtube, and on her Subscription Service, $9.99/month

When to find her: IG Live is sporadic whenever she feels like popping on (more on that below), but her subscription and Youtube videos are available whenever.

What you can expect: Positivity and smiles that you can’t help but smile along to. Specifically, she is known for her dance cardio workouts and jump rope workouts. Her tagline is “Jump Skip Smile” and she does just that. She has recently gone a bit viral because of her unfortunate circumstances – her husband, a famous Broadway actor Nick Cordero, was in a coma from Covid-19 for more than a month and he had his leg amputated (Hashtag: #WakeUpNick) The AMAZING news is that he is showing signs of waking up and things are looking up! (Hashtag: #NickIsWOKE) Why do I share this? Because despite her husband’s illness and her 10-month-old, adorable baby named Elvis, she has continued to be positive, and has continued to jump, skip and smile. Her daily Instagram reminders to move our bodies and to not take a single day for granted has been great motivation for me. She never yells, just encourages. And every day that she has great news about her husband Nick, she goes on Instagram Live and teaches fitness classes to “give back” to the world for all of our support. One time she did a 35 minute dance class that I loved so much I did it twice and screen recorded it before it disappeared from her Instagram Story. I’ve done it twice again since then!

Here is a 30-minute cardio class she did for Pop Sugar, it is SURE to make you drip in sweat. (Speaking of Pop Sugar, follow them for a million workouts!)

She is also known for her “Dancer Arms” series, which I have been doing every day for 3 weeks. Only done to one song (5 minutes or less), I dare you to attempt getting through an entire song without dropping your arms. 3 weeks in and I am FINALLY getting there! You can find them on her IGTV, Youtube or subscription service. Anyone has time for 5 minutes! Sometimes I do it before bed when I’m already in PJs!

Dancer Arms Song 1 (a song by her husband), Dance Arms Option 2, Option 3, Option 4, Option 5.

Here’s a jump rope workout. She even sells her own ropes that say Jump Skip Smile on the handles.

She has a GoFundMe page for her husband, and I feel like I am giving back to her by subscribing to her workout service. It’s only $9.99/month. To be honest, I haven’t used her subscription much, but I use her Youtube and IGTV videos constantly.

The Fitness Marshall

Where to find him: Youtube for free single song workouts, or you can join the Booty Army (lol) with 60-minute workouts and membership prices go from $4.99/month to $14.99. The more expensive tier includes 60-minute sweat seshes with 15 songs each!

When to find him: Whenever you want!

What you can expect: SUPER cardio and FUN choreographed dances. These are actual dancers so some of the moves may be fast or tricky, but he has a lot of modifications for all fitness level and his energy is amazing! Also, great for all body types and fitness levels, very empowering, and you can just do a single song at a time for a 4-minute cardio blast! He has a few toning videos, too, but he’s mostly known for his cardio.

Here’s a playlist for a “full sweat set” aka 13 songs to make a full workout!

305 Fitness

Where to find it: Mostly Youtube, (search 305 Fitness), but they are EVERYWHERE. Even Tik Tok.  

When to find it: LIVE daily at 8 am and 12 pm ET. But they also keep these up on their Youtube channel so you can do them whenever! There are so many videos up there both from before Quarantine taped in their studio, and from recent, usually taped in the founder, Sadie Kurzban’s, backyard. Look out for the cameos when her husband joins her, pretty funny.

What you can expect: Heart-pumping cardio fun and toning. It is usually a combo of 15-20 mins of nonstop cardio, then adding some toning, then a choreographed hip hop section. And they always have BOMB playlists. They do a lot of theme playlists, and usually you can expect some bad words (beware for kids). But they also have some for kids, like today they did a Disney theme! Highly recommend if you want to engage with the instructor in the comments and feel like you’re back at the gym. So many options to join in live!

Katie Austin

Where to find her: Instagram @KatieAustin and Youtube Katie Austin, and she does LOVE Tik Tok, too, but not really for workouts. She also has her own app! There is a 7-day free trial, and then it is $9.99/month. Her Youtube and Instagram are FREE though.

When to find her: Live Schedule varies, but if you go to her IGTV or Youtube, you can find a PLETHORA of workouts in the vault and play them as many times as you want.

What you can expect: On Youtube, she has everything from light body weight toning, abs and booty, to barre, to cardio dance and retro workouts. Her name may sound familiar… remember Denise Austin? Aerobics queen from the 80’s?? Well Katie is her daughter! Denise still looks AMAZING (“all natural!” as Katie always reminds you) and last week for Mother’s Day, they posted daily workout videos together. Speaking of Denise, you can follow her on Youtube, too, for low-impact aerobics and more videos with Katie. My favorite part of Denise’s workouts is her super-throwback phrases like “waistline trimmer” moves and when doing glute toning exercises, she says, “Squeeze!! If you don’t squeeze it, no one else will!” CRINGE but also LOL.

I personally don’t subscribe to Katie’s app, but if you do, you’ll find even more content there including workout videos, a daily workout calendar, recipes, challenges, etc.

Peloton

Where to find it: They have their own app! You can follow workouts on the computer or phone/tablet. Also, they had a 90-day free trial at the start of quarantine but I think it may be back down to 30 days. Take advantage! After that, it is $12.99/month.

When to find it: Classes are available to stream 24/7. The instructors are now streaming live from their homes, but the tech issues abound. I highly recommend their on-demand classes from BC (Before Covid), there are thousands.

What you can expect: Professional quality filming, SUPER fit and attractive instructors, and a little bit of everything!! This is not just about their super expensive bike. They have toning, tabata, stretching, yoga, outdoor coached runs, treadmill workouts, and dance cardio! As you can probably sense from above, I have been mostly doing the dance cardio, but one day I had 10 minutes between calls and did a KILLED HIIT workout. I was panting and dripping by my second call. Many of their workouts require 0 equipment. Perfect for quarantine! The bets part of Peloton is the production value. They literally base their business model from streaming. Their recent classes from instructors’ homes are pretty bad, but the ones from BC are awesome! No Zoom glitches, perfectly clear cuing, and some classes have live DJs spinning!

Step Classes

Where to find them: Youtube or BurnAlong

When to find them: 24/7, or whenever you don’t annoy your downstairs neighbor with your stomping

What you can expect: A workout for your body and your mind. Step is not for the uncoordinated. It is SO fun to be mentally challenged in a workout in quarantine. It is the only way I can take my mind off of the outside world. One hour classes pass in the flash of an eye. Or is that just sweat in my contacts…

But for real, my favorite thing about quarantine has been rediscovering Step. I used to own a step when I lived in Florida, but in my tinyhome aka NYC apartment, it’s not really an option. The first week I “moved” to Texas for quarantine, I considered buying a step and it seemed like a crazy $55 purchase but I took the leap and I have never been more happy with a purchase. I use it at least two times a week, and with Texas getting hotter every day, I will probably use it even more!

My favorite instructor on Youtube is Kat Gates-Buettner. Her advanced routines are SERIOUSLY advanced. I taught step for years and even I am a little confused by them. That said, it’s a great way to make time fly. She also has basic workouts and even did one using a doormat for people without a step in their homes or with bad knees. HIGHLY recommend. There are other instructors with great step routines on Youtube, too, but it may take some culling. Here’s another great one.

I also started using the BurnAlong App because my favorite instructor of all time (and friend), Judy Bremner is on there. BurnAlong has a 30 day free trial, and is $14.99/month after. If you get the free trial or membership, search for her. I used to take her classes at LA Fitness when I lived in Florida, and one of my favorite things about quarantine is taking her classes again! Don’t forget to follow, rate and review, that’s how instructors make money! I watch on my laptop not on my phone so it is easier to see.

If you’ve made it this far, you may have used up all of your time you had set aside to work out today. But bookmark this page and check out the workouts tomorrow or this weekend. Let me know in the comments what you think. Also, let me know if I’m missing any of your favorite workouts! I’m always up to try something new. But remember my ground rules, no yelling, only laughing and sweating.

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Quarantine Fitness

As a fitness instructor, this quarantine is hitting me hard. Not only am I losing hundreds of dollars every month the gym is closed, I’m losing hours of moving my body and I’m missing a critical part of my social life at the gym. All of these things have had an effect on my physical and emotional health, but what I’ve found has affected me most is the loss of my gym crew. I MISS PEOPLE! I love teaching fitness classes, I find joy in helping people meet their fitness goals, choosing news songs for playlists, catching up with the same people twice a week, and sweating out the stress of the day.

And I’m writing this blog so that you can learn from me and you don’t need to do your own research. The first few weeks of quarantine I was struggling to find a balance between work, fitness, and happiness, and I am still working on it. Work is incredibly overwhelming, stressful, time-consuming and emotionally draining, and that’s why finding my niche with at-home workouts was even more important to me. I tried a lot of different things – types of fitness I hated and loved, formats of classes I hated and loved, and instructors I hated and loved. I have so much to say that I’m splitting this post into two parts. First, more generalized types of classes and instructors I love, and later this week, my actual favorite classes and links to where you can find them.

I was especially motivated to write this post now because I follow so many instructors and gyms on social media and most of them have been IRKING me. I discovered the joy of working out in college, but I didn’t always look at it in a healthy way. There was a time in college where I counted every calorie going into my body and every minute on the elliptical. I was at the gym 5 hours a day. Psychologists agree that one factor that impacts disordered eating is a sense of control. When other things in people’s lives feel out of control, eating and exercise are two things that can easily be monitored and controlled. And that is why so many fitness instructors and “fitfluencers” now are annoying the hell out of me.

Things are HARD right now. Stressful. Uncertain. But fitness instructors should not be capitalizing on that to sell classes. I understand that fitness instructors whose livelihoods are depending now on online classes seem OBSESSED with proving that their programs create results, visible abs, visible biceps, etc. But I worry that people see these milestones and feel like it is the only goal to strive toward. With vacations and plans canceled for months, people are looking for things to aim for. And more time on their hands, all they need to do is take 4 fitness classes a day and they can get abs! YIPPEE! Great goal! I see people gloating about “tripling” (i.e. taking 3 classes in a day). This is not something to gloat about. I have been there, that’s how I know. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t create goals for yourself, or set something to strive for during these crazy times. But the unhealthy way I see it portrayed on Instagram is troubling me.

This is not a post about disordered eating or disordered working out, it’s about how I came to find joy in the endorphins of working out, how I am finding that joy during quarantine.

I already told you the main thing I am missing from the gym is my people, so it may seem counter-intuitive that the first thing I am recommending is a solo activity… RUNNING! I know, I know, you never thought you’d hear this from me; I literally own a shirt that says “I hate running.” I recently wrote about my January run streak and how I’d never do it again. But I can’t stress how much fresh air and alone time can help elevate my mood. I have been running often with my fiance’s sister. We run a couple times per week together. But when I am feeling really down, I have been lacing up my shoes, cuing up a playlist of my favorite jams, and taking it to the streets alone. As much as I love my fiancé and his family, it can be nice to quiet my mind and surroundings for an hour.

I have had many friends and strangers tell me they wished they could run, but they can’t run more than a few minutes without giving up. They ask what the secret is and it’s simple – just run as long as you want! And when you want to stop to walk, do that. Especially during these crazy times, adding extra pressure on yourself is not going to help anything. Just get outside, breathe fresh air, listen to some awesome music, or podcast, or audiobook, and stop when you want. Or don’t. It reminds me of the Forrest Gump quote:

That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of the town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on goin’. – Forrest Gump

But not everyone wants to run or walk. And soon it’ll be way too hot in Texas for me to run, too. The only way some people will work out is when someone is giving them structured advice in the form of a class. The great news is, there has never been a better array of classes available online. But that doesn’t mean they are all equal.

Here’s the type of instructor I do NOT want to be anywhere near during quarantine: Anyone who yells. Period. Do not tell me I can do 15 more squats. You don’t know what I went through today. You don’t know that I spoke to someone who lost both of their parents this month and took a 20% pay cut that day despite having two mortgages because they can’t sell their current house in this market. Maybe today I can’t do 15 more squats. And do NOT tell me that I need to turn my video on for Zoom. I have my video on for Zoom ALL DAY for work. If I don’t feel like having someone watch my form today, then I will leave your class. And guess what, I have done that! Now is not the time to waste energy on things that bring me down and not up. Which brings me to my next point.

Here’s the type of instructor I DO want to be near during quarantine: Someone who smiles. Someone who says, “we’re in this together.” Someone who says, “I had a hard day today, but I’m so glad we’re here together now.” Someone who says, “have FUN!”

Now let’s talk a little about class format. Technology can be hard. I get it. There will be tech problems. But Zoom workouts??? It’s a HARD PASS for me. I have tried a couple different classes on Zoom and WebEx, ALL BAD. Every. Single. One. As a fitness instructor, ex-musician and ex-dancer, music matters. Music must go with moves. I am not an AMRAP girl. I am an 8-count girl. Nothing irks me more than an instructor who cannot count. So, if an instructor is counting but the beat doesn’t match with the voice, I will leave. I left 3 BollyX classes because I was so frustrated. I left a bootcamp class. One class I stayed in, but I put my own music on from Spotify. Now, if I sign up for a class and I see it is taking place on Zoom, I just don’t go. I may lose money but it’s not worth the stress and frustration.

That still leaves a lot of options, though! Instagram Live, Facebook Live, Peloton, BurnAlong and Youtube! None of those options allow the instructor to see you, so it’s less interactive, but you can still leave comments. Also another benefit, no one can yell at you because they can’t see you!

I will post later this week about my favorite instructors and formats during this time. Spoiler alert: it’s a lot of dance cardio, workouts I can get lost in where time passes quickly, and instructors who focus on positivity and fun. I sent an extensive list of links to my great aunt and she has been dancing and Zumba-ing around her house for a month. I can’t wait to tell you all about my favorite online offerings so we can do them “together!”

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Run Streak

As many of you probably know, I have been teaching fitness classes for 13 years. My favorite workout of all time is step aerobics, but I have mainly been teaching Spinning classes for the past 5 years.

I run sometimes but I largely hate it. Remember when I ran a marathon? LOL #NeverAgain

But guess what??? The gyms are closed. Indefinitely. Who knows when we will take another group fitness class?? No spin, no step, no nothing. So I have taken my talents to the pavement and I have started running again. A lot.

This blog post isn’t about my current running, though, it’s about my January running! Remember January? It was about 19 years ago. Or it feels like it. Anyway, my current return to running reminded me of a blog I meant to write after I completed a run streak in January.

At the beginning of each year, I put multiple goals in my Bullet Journal for the year. One of my Fitness Goals this year was to complete a month-long run streak. Run streaks have become more popular over the years, but I never attempted one because I have always had so many other fitness things going on, from teaching classes, to going to boot camps, training for races, etc. According to Runner’s World,

“a run streak simply means running on consecutive days, for a set period of time, without fail. The rules are simple: you set your intended timeframe, and then all you have to do is run (most runners opt for a minimum of one mile) every single day. Your run streak can be for weeks, months, or for the exceptionally committed runner, forever.”

Well, ladies and gents, there was no way I was doing that craziness for a full year. I wanted to be realistic, so my goal was one uninterrupted month. This year, with no marathon on the calendar and only teaching 2 classes per week, it was the perfect time to attempt a streak (with my clothes on). I figured, why put it off? Let’s start in January. Better yet, I got a head start and began on December 31st.

And guess what? For someone who had semi-recently run 26.2 miles, running 1 mile was still TOUGH!

Always with the #fastbraids and on-brand shirts.

Even though I generally work out a lot, I always allow myself one rest day per week, sometimes two. The difference between one rest day and zero was way more noticeable than I thought it would be. Also, I had to add the mile on to my already existing workouts. On Mondays and Thursdays, I got to the gym early for my spin class and hopped on the treadmill for a warmup mile. The mile itself wasn’t terrible, but Spin class afterward was way more difficult. I even adjusted my settings sometimes (Shhh! Don’t tell).

On Wednesdays and Fridays when I went to 7:00 am boot camp at the gym half a mile away, I left the house 5 minutes earlier and ran out of the way to make it a fulll mile before I got there. 7:00 am circuit training is never a cake walk but after a mile? Even harder.

And let’s not even talk about the few days when it was pouring rain. You know how people say “you can do anything for 10 minutes?” That was how I finally wrapped my brain around taking my butt off the couch and into a torrential downpour. I put my phone in a Ziploc bag and hit the pavement for 10 minutes. It was not easy.

Overall, I guess I’m glad I did it but I probably wouldn’t do it again. I only totaled about 45 miles, since I was rarely running more than 1 mile a day. I prefer what I’m doing now, which is a longer distance, taking walking breaks when I want, and taking days off when my legs feel like it.

For people who struggle with motivation, the 1-mile-a-day may be motivating because you will feel guilty breaking a streak. For me, I prefer making my own schedule rather than being tied to a made-up one. I did get brand new sneakers shipped to me in Texas yesterday, so I’m excited to continue hitting the pavement (when I feel like it).

Have any of you guys attempted a run streak? Were you successful? How long did it last?

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NYC Marathon (in stream of consciousness)

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to run a marathon? Have you ever thought, “Hmmm… 26.2 miles is a long way and it takes FOREVER. What does one think about while they try not to focus on their legs?” If so, then this blog is for you. I am going to tell you a lot of my thoughts during those 5+ very long hours. But don’t worry, I won’t tell you all of them. Who has 5 hours to kill? (Me… I guess).

Pre-Start Race Corral

Should I try to pee again? I just tried but maybe I should try again? Oh god, what are the port-potties gonna be like on the course? Is now when we need to take off our sweats? Because I’m still cold and I don’t wanna. UGH ok fine I will. Should I keep my tissues with me? Will they get soggy? They’re in a Ziploc but you never know. I sweat a lot. So many questions. EW WHAT IS THAT SMELL!? Oh my god port-o-potties. Wait… I can smell??? Oop! Now it’s gone. Thank god for this sickness. Have people been smelling that the whole time? That must suck.

Start Line

Oh wow! They play Frank Sinatra before we start? That’s pretty cool. The people who work the start line must be reallllly sick of this song if they play it every wave. This would be the… 6th time they’re hearing it? How many apps do I need to start on my phone? Strava – check. Nike Running – check. Spotify – Check.  How long will my phone last with all of these apps on? I wonder if Strava works if my phone is on airplane mode. I probably should have tested that. Too bad I downloaded it last night. I’ll do anything for a free lululemon tank top. Tell me something I didn’t already know. Ok. Time to run this sh*t. Or run-walk it. Or at least survive it. DAMNIT I accidentally left my tissues in the pocket of my hoodie that I just donated. I guess it’s snot-rockets from here on out.

Mile 1

Alright, this isn’t too bad. The views are killer. Is it too soon to stop for a selfie? I’m only doing this for Instagram likes anyway. Ok, that’s not entirely true. Damn, I really wish I had my tissues. Should I still stop every 5 minutes to walk like in my training? Everyone always says to take it easy through Brooklyn but no one said anything about on the Verrazano. Then again, I don’t want to get trampled. I guess I’ll stop to walk for 30 seconds and take a pic. Who knows how long my phone will last.

Mile 2

*sees sign “Yo! Welcome to Brooklyn!”* Oh cute!! Signs! I hope I see some witty ones. Someone just welcomed me personally to Brooklyn by name. Such a good idea to put my name on my shirt.

Mile 3

This isn’t too bad! I wish this was a Turkey Trot. I’d almost be done. 23 miles to go. FML. Wait, where did all those other people come from? Are they running the race, too? Let me ask one of them. Ah yes, they are. They just started on the lower level of the bridge. I wonder if that sucks. Not as many insta-opportunities. Well, look at all of us together now. 53,000 people in one HUGE happy family.

Mile 4

Thank GOD there are people out here with water bottles and TISSUES. Next year when I cheer, I am def bringing a box of tissues. You never know if there will be someone out there snot-rocketing their life away. Also, I’m glad I didn’t run with a water bottle. It’s so nice to have my hands free! And there are people all over the place handing them out.

Mile 5

First person I know!! My coworker brought the whole family out to cheer for me! Gotta stop for a selfie. OMG, her sign is made to look like my Braid in Manhattan business card!! Am I too sweaty to give hugs? Meh whatever, they can shower. I can’t shower. for 21 more miles. Woof.

Mile 6

I should be looking for more people from the gym. YES! Spotted!! This is fun. It’s like a super, super hard game of Where’s Waldo through the 5 boroughs.

Mile 7

Everyone wants to high-five me but I don’t think they understand the germs on my hands. Ew. Oh! That woman is giving high-fives with latex gloves on. Smart lady.

It’s 11:30! Time for more Dayquil! “Um, ma’am? Excuse me? My hands are shaking and I really need to open this Dayquil. Yes, I’m sick. No, I don’t feel great. Thanks!”

Alright, well that took a full 90 seconds. Good thing I already knew I wouldn’t be making any sort of time record. How many miles ‘til those meds kick in? 3? 4? 19? UGH.

Mile 8

The street names are words now instead of numbers. I’ll never find any of my friends. My dripping sweat is impeding my vision of street signs. OMG GYM FRIENDS! YAYYY BROOKLYN! I have to stop for a photo or two. Another coworker! This is so fun! More photos, please. Make sure everyone knows I am still alive. For now.

Mile 9

Full mile with no one I know. Wahhh, this isn’t fun. Why am I doing this again? Also, every time I stop for my scheduled walking breaks people scream my name to try and make me run again. Maybe I shouldn’t have put my name on my shirt?

Mile 10

SISTER!!! I hope I make it into her 1secondeveryday. I even made sure I was running! I can give her a hug despite the sweat and snot. She’s related to me. Hopefully she tells my mom I’m still alive. I wonder if I’ll spot her in Manhattan, too. I think my Dayquil is setting in! I can ALMOST smell. Smell myself, that is.

Mile 11

SO. MANY. JEWS. I was warned about this deadening silence. Like, I see them. They see me. But they’re pretending it’s just another normal day and 53,000 people aren’t running down the street. Cool, cool. JK, not cool, this is annoying AF. I almost wish I had headphones on. ALMOST.

Mile 12

No friends here either. Well at least there are a few spectators again. Why is everyone handing out candy? Oh yeah! It was just Halloween. I think I’ll stick with my Clif Bloks. I’m not trying to make any port-o breaks. Who knows how a Snickers will react in my stomach with all that Gatorade.

Mile 13

Remember when I ran a half marathon and I was like EW NEVER AGAIN? Why the hell did I think, “yea, let me do that TWICE IN A ROW.” I could be DONE now! And to make matters worse, it’s another bridge! Wahhhh I hate uphills.

Mile 14

Another huge bridge coming up. This is what I trained for. I’m EXHAUSTED. And the last two people I was supposed to see, I couldn’t find. This isn’t fun anymore. Should I just walk this whole bridge?

Mile 15

Oh, ok. So EVERYONE walks this bridge. It makes sense, because I’m walking relatively quickly and I’m almost passing some of the people “running.” Why waste my energy? SELFIE BREAK! There are NYRR volunteers stationed in the middle of the bridge specifically to take our pics. Ok, that’s probably not what they are specifically there for, but it’s a good bonus. Sure, I’ll stop. Why not. I’m not going very fast anyway.

Mile 16

FRIENDS FRIENDS EVERYWHERE!! I needed excuses to stop and chat. Just a little coffee-clatching while very very sweaty. Should I change my shirt? My amazing emoji bf brought me a change. If my hands weren’t working enough to open Dayquil, I will probably struggle with the safety pins on my bib. Meh, I’ll just stay sweaty. “Only” 10 miles left anyway. It’s so fun to see my friends and their signs! Maybe I should just stay here. Ugh, ok FINE I guess I’ll go.

MY SISTER AGAIN! YAY! She noticed I didn’t change my shirt, HA! And our friend brought tissues. Thank god. Is it possible that Dayquil isn’t effective if you’re pushing your body like this? Like how antibiotics make birth control not work? Hmm, I should ask somebody that.

Mile 17

MORE FRIENDS! Omg Jacy brought her baby! That is dedication. Gotta take another pic. First baby on the course!

Mile 18

Gotham Gators out here with a personalized sign for me. Gotta chomp with them. At this point, I do realize I’m just taking any opportunity I can to stop running. Where the hell are the people with the water bottles like in Brooklyn?? I’M SO THIRSTY. I wonder if people in Manhattan are too broke from paying rent to be handing out free bottles of water. I really should have taken a water bottle with me. Come to think of it… it’s been many many hours and I’ve been drinking water and Gatorade at every mile… how don’t I have to pee at all? Is it all coming out of my nose? Is that a thing? I should ask someone that question, too.

They had a sign with my name on it too, but I think I liked this one better.

Mile 19

PERSONAL RECORD! I’ve never run more than 18 miles before. Yes, I feel like I want to die but I did it! Even if I don’t finish, at least I am breaking my own records. GOD I’m exhausted. Where is Sara? She said she’d be right on this corner! I better stop to look for her. Also because I MUST STOP.

Wait, is that her ponytail walking away? “SARA!” Omg! It’s her!! Come, walk with me. Forward is forward. Let’s take a selfie. Ok. Gotta go to the Bronx, I’ll be back in half an hour! I hope…

Mile 20

Willis Ave. Bridge. Well, good news is, I’m not the only one walking. Literally EVERYONE is. This is a secret piece of info no one ever told me. I did wonder how people run the whole thing. I guess the answer is, they don’t. Let me take a selfie and check on the battery percentage of my phone. 17% DAMN! I still have at LEAST an hour left! Oh damn, there’s a photographer. I guess he just got a pic of me on my phone and walking. It is what it is. #WorthIt for the selfie.

Mile 21

Good lord this is not easy. There’s a whole slew of port-o-potties. I guess the good news is, I still don’t have to pee at all. Bad news is… why? Should I be worried? My left ankle hurts. That’s weird. It’s not even my “bad” ankle. It’s not too bad, though. Oh, a biofreeze station, I’ll ask them to spray me. Hmm, that worked a little bit! And there’s an NYRR volunteer with The Stick. I’ll roll my quads a little. Plus, I need another break. God these stick thingies are miraculous.

I haven’t been to the Bronx since I filed something in court here. But now I guess I live here because I cannot move my legs anymore. HA! I cannot live in the Bronx. Jenny from the Block loved it so much and even she left. I must move. Forward is forward. I cannot stop coughing! I think these coughs are getting way worse. FINAL BRIDGE. A lady just screamed “This is the last f*cking bridge!” Hell yes, lady. Also, I enjoyed the sign that said, “F*ck it up, buttercup.” Obscenities are infiltrating my every thought at this point.

Mile 22

Holy hell this is HARD. And my coughs are def getting worse. I don’t want to stop but I have to double over from these coughing spells. I have some cramping in my abs, even, from the coughing. Oh, thank god. There’s Sara again. PLEASE WALK/RUN WITH ME. Yes, let’s go on Instagram-Live to distract me. No, I don’t think it matters that you’re just joining the race course. I NEED HELP! I wonder if I’ll regret talking about nipple chafing on Instagram? Meh, too late now. COUGH COUGH COUGH OW. Well, good news is, everyone around me limping and walking super weird. I’m running/walking totally fine. Except for when I’m doubled over struggling to breath between coughs.

Mile 23

5K left! I can do this. I’ve run a 5K a million times. Granted, I’ve never done it after running 23 miles. Also, why is this uphill? Seems like a cruel joke. But the crowds here are deafening. God, I love Manhattan.

Mile 24

Time to go back into Central Park. I can do this. I can do this. I know this park like the back of my hand. Why do people say that? Do people look at the backs of their hands a lot? I think I’m delirious. The sun is setting! I should take my sunglasses off. What time is it? Damn. 5 hours. I’ve been running for 5 hours. I thought I would be done by now. Oh well. I guess my new goal is beating the sunset.

I just passed a 40K sign. What the hell does that mean? How many K’s is a mile? Wait, 5K is 3.1 miles… 40/5 x 3.1… I cannot do mental math. I think I’m close to the next mile marker? My phone is at 5%. I need to remember to stop my Strava at 1%. I WILL NOT LET MY PHONE DIE.

Mile 25

25! More coworkers! And another racecourse baby! The spectators keep saying “you’re almost there, Emily!” and FINALLY they are telling the truth! They’ve been saying that sh*t since mile 13. Which was incredibly annoying. But finally it’s TRUE! Oh my god it’s so close. I can run, still! I need to run through the finish.

Mile 26

26 freaking miles. The .2 is a cruel joke. Ok, that sign just said 800 meters to go. How long is a meter? It would be really helpful to understand the metric system. I know I’m close though. I bet I can run the whole rest of this. Phone at 2%. Omg this is like the Hannukkah oil that lasted for 8 nights. Incredible. Will it last ‘til the finish line???

Mile 26.1

Back in the park! Look at all of these flags lining the street. SO COOL. I am so so so close!

Mile 26.2

400 meters to go. Welp, still don’t know what a meter is but I SEE THE FINISH LINE! I WILL CROSS THIS THING WITH MY HANDS IN THE AIR!

FINISH

HOLY CRAP. I did it. I DID IT! I thought I would cry but I don’t think I have enough fluids in my body for that. Speaking of… how come I still don’t have to pee? And where is there water?? I earned this medal! AHHH so cool! Phone at 1%. End Strava. End Nike+ Run. End Fitbit.

“Hi! Excuse me. First of all, congratulations. Second of all, will you take a photo of me with my medal? Here’s how you switch the camera around. Oh. Sorry, my phone just died.”

“Hi, sir? First of all, congratulations. Second of all, my phone just died. Can you maybe take a photo of me with my medal at the finish and then send it to me? Yes, I need you to take it on your own phone. Then send it to me. My phone died. Oh, you live in France and don’t have service? Ummmm, do you think you can Whatsapp it to me later when you have wifi?? I’d be soooo thankful. I’m never doing this thing ever again. Ever.”

If you made it all the way through this journey with me without even carb-loading first, you deserve a Gatorade. And a medal. But not my marathon medal because I’m never giving mine away. After reading this, do you think you want to run a marathon? No? Me either.

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I Ran a FREAKING MARATHON

I ran a freaking MARATHON. Do you know how long that is??? 26.2 miles. I literally ran from Staten Island, through Brooklyn, into Queens, into Manhattan, into the Bronx, and then BACK into Manhattan. On my own two feet. And yes, I am pretty damn proud of myself. And the only thing that matters is that I FINISHED! And also I got a pretty SWEET medal shaped like an apple.

When I ran my half marathon back in 2017, I took you mile by mile stream of consciousness through the course with me. Since this course was twice as long, I’m going to save that for a second installation. For this one, I want to tell you all about what went WRONG for this race. Then I will tell you guys what went RIGHT. And then next week, I will take you through my thoughts as I made my way from Staten Island, allllll the way back to my home borough.

I told you guys a little bit about my training back in mid-September, and after that day, things went a little downhill. Almost everyone who runs a marathon will tell you that they didn’t have the perfect training, so I wasn’t incredibly worried about it, but I was a little. Here’s what happened. First of all, I started traveling a lot. I traveled to Paris and had no problem keeping up with some training because my mileage was low then. But according to my training schedule, I was supposed to run 18 miles one Saturday while I was on vacation in Greece, and I just knew that wouldn’t happen. So instead, I shifted that run a week early, and hoped to do a 20-mile run when I came back from vacation. I successfully completed the 18-mile run in Central Park (BRUTAL), and in the process, I hurt my foot. I can’t say for sure what I did to it, because I was too scared to go to a doctor. I took my talents to WebMD, and I was convinced I had a stress fracture. So, I did what anyone does, I decided to take a week off from running, and just walk 20,000 steps/day in Greece. I’m sure that is what any doctor would have recommended…. NOT! Anyway, when I actually got back to the States, I decided not to run the 20-miler at all, and to instead focus on getting to the start line with healthy limbs. This was Strike 1 to my well-intentioned training plan. It meant that I’d have to find 8.2 additional miles within myself during the marathon to take me from my longest run of my life (18 miles) to the marathon finish line. However, I was feeling good, and my foot pain cleared up significantly to the point where I was still able to do a 10-mile training run 2 weeks before the race with the NY Flyers, which let me see the last 10 miles of the marathon course and try to internalize it. Everything was going semi-according to plan.

Strike 2 came the week before the marathon. I knew I had to travel to California for work during the Fall, but I was presented with only two options. Either the week before the marathon, or the day after. I knew that the worst possible thing for recovery was sitting still. And even worse, to be cramped in a small space (HELLOO LONGLEGSbigcity) for 6 hours. I thought I was being smart by picking to travel the week before the race. Unfortunately, this turned out to be a bad idea as well. Not only did it throw off my sleep schedule, you guessed it, as one does when they travel across the country and back within a 48 hour period, I got sick. Very sick. I actually made a doctor’s appointment from the airport in LA and went there directly after my flight. Ok, not directly, I showered first because I am not gross.

Anyway, I guess the travel and the sickness count as strikes 2 and 3. The good news was that I did not have strep, which is what I predicted. The bad news was that since it was not strep, there were no antibiotics to help me, and the doctor said it was likely to get worse before it got better. And it did. I spent the next 2 days trying to get better. I called out of work, overdosed on Mucinex, finished an entire bottle of airborne gummies, took multi-vitamins, went to Juice Generation and maxed out on fruits and veggies and ginger, and still yet, I woke up Sunday very sick. But not running was not an option, so I packed Dayquil in my race bag, and I headed to the start village anyway.

Now guys, I already started this blog by saying I RAN A FREAKING MARATHON, so obviously some things had to go right, right? Hell yea. A lot went right. First of all, I FINISHED THE FREAKING MARATHON!!!! Did I say that yet?

Another thing that went right were my friends in the start village. I was a little nervous and loopy from my Dayquil, and I took the ferry to Staten Island alone. I was afraid I wouldn’t find my friends, so I brought a magazine for my 3-hour wait until my start time, but soon enough, I found two of my friends who were in the same corral as me, and we hung out and chatted so my nerves couldn’t kick in. They kept me company in long port-o-potty lines, and we even went to the “therapy dog” section of the village to hang out with some doggies. I don’t love animals, but it was distracting and that’s all I needed. Of utmost importance – my friend’s friend brought extra body glide! I thanked him profusely later, as I watched person after person go to the med-tents for Vaseline popsicle sticks they were handing out for chafing purposes and I was a-o-k.

Speaking of med tents – I didn’t need them AT ALL! I have been plagued with injury after injury for the past few years. Ankles, knees, hips – you name it, I had it. The fact that I did not have to stop once for help was a feat in and of itself. My left ankle flared up a bit and I sprayed it with some Biofreeze at mile 20, but it was definitely still runnable. I think my sickness was a blessing in disguise here. I was so distracted by my runny nose and debilitating cough that I was barely focusing on my legs at all!

This was basically me the whole race. When I wasn’t coughing.

Now about the MOST important thing that went right: the spectators!! I had heard that from many runners throughout my years, that the NYC Marathon is like no other because the crowds are great, and everyone absolutely proved it to me. The main thing I knew I wanted to do from my years of cheering for the marathon, was to put my name on my shirt. So I got my iron-on letters from the same Etsy shop where I ordered my iron-on for the half marathon (for that race, I put “I Hate Running”) and I put EMILY emblazoned on the front, and “Braid in Manhattan” on the back. The crowd delivered. From the second I stepped foot in Brooklyn, I heard “WELCOME TO BROOKLYN EMILY!” And for the next 25 miles, people cheered me on when I needed it the most. The spectators were electrifying, and they were there the ENTIRE time. (Except for the Chasidic community in Brooklyn, but that’s for the next post.) By mile 25, every time someone said “Emily, you are SO CLOSE!” I knew I could pick it up to a jog again and bring it home. I actually increased my speed the last two miles because of the morale boost from the random strangers! It was awesome.

And last but CERTAINLY not least, extra shout-outs go to the spectators I actually DID know – my friends and family. Starting at mile 4, I knew people along the racecourse at almost every other mile. It gave me something to look forward to, an excuse to stop for selfies (and cough breaks), and in some cases, a running buddy. At mile 4, I saw my first coworker. In an office of only 10 full-time employees, 3 of them came out to cheer separately! At miles 4, 8 and 25, I had the support of my office. And I know Brooklyn is meant to have great crowds and energy, but the energy you get from people you actually know is different. I was so lucky that my crew from the gym where I teach came out to cheer for me, as well! I saw 4 different people from my spin classes, and I was able to stop and say hi before I was on my way again. It was the first time I was thankful to teach in a different borough from where I lived. And then as I was about to go into Queens, I had a group with my sister, her husband, his brother, and they were cheering and screaming and even got a short video of me running up to them!

When I hit Manhattan, it felt like I knew people every other block. First there was a group of 17 people (SEVENTEEN!!!) at 64th street. They had signs and they were cheering so loud, I heard people near them asking if I was a celebrity! And my sweet boyfriend brought a shirt for me to change into, which I originally planned to do, but decided I was too exhausted. Then 4 blocks later, I saw more friends and my sister AGAIN! The MTA clearly travels faster than my feet. It was so awesome to see my sister two times. I saw some other spectators multiple times, as well! It helped my morale because I was thinking… if these people are so dedicated to cheer me on throughout this race, then I better give them what they’re looking for and keep chugging along!

10 blocks later, I saw another friend and her baby out to cheer for me some more. And 10 blocks later, there was a huge University of Florida Gotham Gators cheer squad with a sign for me! I stopped for a few chomps and then kept chugging along. I won’t take you mile by mile, because I already promised that would be another post entirely, but I do want to mention my final push, helped specifically by another friend of mine. I saw her at mile 19, and she told me she’d catch me again at mile 22. She didn’t know at the time how important that would be for me. By mile 20, I was coughing a LOT. It was taking so much energy for me just to breathe that running was getting extra tough. When I saw my friend at 22, I was on the struggle bus FOR REAL. I didn’t even try to pretend I was running when I saw her. I solely walked up to her, coughing all the while. She saw my struggle and hopped right into the racecourse, holding her neon pink poster board and everything. She literally ran the entire mile 22 with me, stopping to walk when I needed coughing breaks, and joking with me to keep me laughing. She even turned on Instagram Live at one point, joking with me about the bleeding-nipple-chafing she had witnessed, which kept me laughing through the coughs. Once we hit mile 23 and I knew I had “only” a 5K to go, she told me to run like I trained and that she knew I could finish strong. I don’t know how I would have gotten through that mile without her!

The energy and support I received all day was just unbelievable. I had people tracking me from Florida, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and even Singapore. By the time I turned my phone on (it died at the finish line), I had 78 text messages, 3 Facebook messages, and 26 Instagram DMs. I was BLOWN away. When I got home, my sweet boyfriend presented me with flowers, and even more romantically, with 2 bags of ice. He helped me into an ice bath and brought me water and more meds while I sat in it.

When I saw my friend the night of the marathon, she asked me if I loved it. The answer is pretty simple: no. I don’t love running and running 26.2 miles is absolutely torturous. HOWEVER, I feel incredibly accomplished and I’m so happy I did it. People keep asking me if I plan on running it again and the truth is, I think once is enough for me. But there is a small part of me that wonders what I could have done if I had gotten to 20 miles in training, and if I hadn’t traveled the week before, and if I hadn’t been incredibly sick. And as the days pass and my legs feel normal again… I am thinking maybe I could try again??? I am currently signed up for the lottery for the 2020 marathon. I have lost the lottery 5 times before but if it’s meant to be…

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Marathon Training

Hey guys! Long time, no see! I’ve been literally running away from my followers for the past few months. But honestly, I couldn’t even see you in my wake because of all the sweat in my eyes, so whatever.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about because you voraciously jumped into this blog post without reading the title… I’M TRAINING FOR A MARATHON! And I broke the very first cardinal rule of training: TELL EVERYONE YOU ARE RUNNING A MARATHON. There, I said it! It’s true! New York Road Runners already has hundreds of my dollars, they have many hard hours of my work, and they have quite a few blisters on my feet. Ok, they don’t have the blisters, I do.

I feel like every time I write a blog post, I start by apologizing for not writing more often. I am not apologizing anymore! I have been BUSY! If you’ve been following along for a while, I ran 9 races last year so that I could qualify for the NYC Marathon this year. It’s a long road to running the 26.2 miles through 5 boroughs of New York. Maybe they make the process so long so the race itself seems short. I literally just had that epiphany while typing this. I think that’s what Oprah calls an “A-HA Moment.”

Anyway, I took you guys through my journey 3 races at a time last year, with the first 3, then the next 3, the volunteering (+1), then I think I gave up on blogging about it because I got very involved in a new hobby – hair braiding. Although I ran 9 races last year, the longest distance I ran in one single race was a 10K, or 6.2 miles. I do not know how that qualifies me to run 26.2, but I set out to figure it out.

Back in 2017, which seems like ages ago, I ran one half marathon. I remember when I finished that race, someone said to me, “what’s next? A marathon???” And I remember saying “Hell no, I am not psycho.” And it’s true! I am not someone who enjoys running, and therefore, running more than 26 miles seemed like idiocy to me.

However, a small part of me always wanted to run the NYC Marathon. Ok, a big part of me. I have loved the 1st Sunday in November ever since I moved to New York. I love the vibe of all of New York’s citizens heading to the streets to cheer for complete strangers. Us New Yorkers, we get a bad rap. It’s really not fair. We are nice people! We are also BUSY people. We don’t have time to hold doors or walk slowly. But on the first Sunday of November, we have time. Time to cheer for our neighbors, our countrymen, and visitors from across the world who fly to our city and spend astronomical amounts of money on hotel rooms. Time to drink beer at 9 am so we are toasty when the pro runners speed by mile 17 at 11 am. Time to make scrappy signs to show our support for runners’ dedication and training (or AMAZING signs in my case). I LOVE being a part of the crowd. But I also had a strong yearning to be in the street, not on the sideline. To high five everyone and to cross the quiet, no spectator zone on the Queensborough Bridge and hit the “Wall of Sound” on 1st Avenue. I tried to enter the lottery many times to run the race, but I officially committed in 2018 by running the 9 races, volunteering at one, and earning my 2019 race entry.

Unfortunately, I hit a roadblock. Right before my 9th race in 2018, I sprained my ankle for the FOURTH time. I knew that if I was going to train for the full marathon, I needed to take some time off. So I took a full 6 months off from running. I did a lot of Spinning, I did a lot of swimming, a lot of ankle exercises, and I bided my time. Then in May, I started running again. First with short distances, then slowly adding up to a mile, 2 miles, etc.

Back in 2017 when I ran my half marathon, I told you guys how I prepared for my training runs by double tying my shoes, filling my water bottle and braiding my hair (OMG guys… foreshadowing??). And I will say, some of those things have remained the same. Most days I do not leave the house without my #FastBraids for a run. But some things have changed. For one – THE CHAFE LIFE IS REAL. I promise not to give you many details here, but I will say I have some weird scars, like a straight-line rug burn across my chest, redness on the inside of my upper arms, etc. I have tried all of the things: glides, lotions, cremes… I give up. Also, I no longer eat eggs before my runs. I eat nothing. If it’s more than 8 miles, I have a Gu. And definitely do not drink coffee. Coffee is a strict no-no when bathrooms are not guaranteed. As I once said in my own marathon sign, I leave the bacon and coffee to the spectators.

I meant to write this blog about my actual running training, but as I was free-flow writing, I realized that it is a very boring topic to a majority of people. I have learned, over the past few months, that people’s eyes glaze over once I start talking about my training. I will just leave you with a few bullet points about my actual training:

  • I’m loosely following Hal Higdon’s Novice 1 Training Schedule
  • Even though I am in shape from teaching fitness classes, I still considered myself a novice 1 because I never ran a marathon before! Also, I am recovering from a recurring injury.
  • No, I did not buy the Higdon program because I am cheap. I just copied a photo from google images and put it in my own Excel spreadsheet.
  • Yes, I put it in my bullet journal.
  • Yes, I’m still bullet journaling even though I know I told you I quit.
  • Due to my ankle injuries, I did a lot of research and many people recommended the Galloway Method – basically doing running and walking intervals.
  • I have done a majority of my training this way – running for 5 minutes and walking for 1 minute. I use an app on my phone called “Interval Timer” which beeps very annoyingly at me. This has helped both with reducing injury and mentally breaking a 3 hour run into manageable time chunks.
  • I have realized that I sweat a LOT. I already knew this, but it’s very important when running. I now always bring supplements with me on long runs, specifically Clif Bloks (the extra sodium ones – margarita flavored!)
  • They actually taste like lemon lime Gatorade, but margarita makes it sound WAY more fun.
  • I also have a Gu with 25 mg of caffeine in it before I start a long run. This helps for energy and is a substitute for my lack of coffee.
  • No, I am still not enjoying training.

As my last bullet point said, you may be wondering if I officially like running. The answer is no. I do not. I enjoy being outside, but in the summer, it is HOT. Too hot. Too hot to walk, nonetheless run many miles. Also, Fall is my favorite season and it now has this huge black cloud of the marathon hanging over it. Also, no drinking on Halloween. Also, no drinking many weekend nights during college football games due to long runs the next morning. So no, I am not thrilled with the training, but I AM excited to finally take part in something amazing here in NYC. I’m all about the bucket list items, and since I’ve already been in the Macy’s Parade, this seemed like the next logical (illogical?) step.

Most likely, I will continue to write in my blog about Marathon Training, because it’s the biggest thing going on in my life, and it’s MY BLOG, SO BITE ME! I hope to make it semi-entertaining. And interactive. So here I will ask for your participation: What should I write on my shirt for the Marathon? Just “EMILY”? Should I put “Braid in Manhattan” on the back? Should I put it in Duck Tape? Fancy Duck Tape? Should I order fun, sparkly, iron-on letters from Etsy and commit to “ruining” a nice lululemon shirt? I did that for my half marathon and I do not regret it. Let me know in the comments!

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CycleBar

Last weekend I went to Charleston, South Carolina to visit a friend. Surprisingly, it was a trip with girls that did NOT include a bachelorette or a wedding. These are few and far between. It’s a true unicorn nowadays in my 30’s. The issue, of course, was… if there are no wedding plans, then what are the plans!? A week before our trip, my bestie and I who were going together started a group text asking about our possible activities. If we didn’t need a black-tie-optional dress, what do we pack?? My friend told me she was planning a full itinerary and she would email us later in the week.

The itinerary included mostly relaxing and flexible plans (pool, beach, happy hour), but the one thing that required pre-planning was a Spin class. There is more background here – the reason I met my friend who lives in South Carolina was because she used to take my Spin classes, 11 years ago, at University of Florida! We knew we had to make Spin happen. My friend was dying for me to try out her favorite South Carolina instructor, Sam, at Cyclebar.

I was excited to try it out because I had never been to Cyclebar. They don’t have any in New York City, but I had heard people around the USA talk about it. From what I had heard, it was a mix of Soulcycle (BARF!) and Flywheel (YAY!). When we got to the studio, the staff there asked where we were from, and told me that our instructor, Sam, used to teach for Flywheel. Already, I was excited. However, we had written to him on Instagram the day before and requested a heavily-hip-hop class and he hadn’t replied, so it was a wild card!

The studio had self-locking lockers, and they wrote my name on the front of the locker to welcome me. They also included a free water bottle and magnet, which I think is supposed to go on your car, but it now lives on my fridge #NewYorkerLife.

The studio itself was awesome. Very modern with stadium-style seating and two huge flat screen TV’s mounted on the wall above the instructor. Also, it said “CycleBar” in red backlit neon lights. Cool touch. I sat in the front row, which is always weird for me because I am not used to being able to see myself in the mirror. When I teach, I generally stare at everyone else! It’s weird to stare at myself. I know I say I sweat a lot, but DANGZILLA. Good thing the lights were turned super low the whole time. Also, good thing the bike next to me was empty because I stole the towel off the empty bike halfway through class. When you’re a sweatzilla you need at least two towels per class.

SO Sweatzilla.

Speaking of the actual class, it started with a warmup to Touch the Sky by Kanye, and Cyclebar Sam played the music video on the flat screens along with the song, which was amazing! I love spinning to old Kanye, despite his recent crazy shenanigans. The music throughout class was awesome. When Sam started playing Everyone Nose by N.E.R.D., I turned to my friend and screamed “YASSSS.” The Jamz. The only thing I can complain about with the music was that it was all remixes and had some EDM mixed into the regular song. My friend’s fiancé said he specifically liked that about CycleBar. It just goes to prove that you can never please everyone. I like to Spin to the original versions of songs so I can sing along to them in my head. To each his own.

I can see why people said CycleBar like Soulcycle, because there were a few times when we did pushups, and tapbacks, and other weird non-spinning exercises. Also, there was an arms section where we used body bars for about 4 minutes. Most cycling studios do this nowadays, although there are mixed reviews about whether it is effective in any way at all. Luckily, Cyclebar Sam didn’t say anything like “spin through the pain and reach Nirvana” or whatever B.S. they are constantly spouting at SoulCycle. (I really hate that place, if you couldn’t tell.) It was much better than any SC class I had ever been to. Also, the monitors on the bikes help to make sure you are never or rarely going above 120 revolutions per minutes, which is one of my least favorite, and least safe things about Soul.

Cyclebar is similar to Flywheel in that they have a leaderboard that shows everyone’s statistics, if you opt in (a little homage to the GDPR regulations). The good thing about the leaderboard is that it isn’t up there the whole class, so it isn’t very distracting. The bad thing is that it isn’t up there the whole class, so you don’t always know who you’re trying to beat! I started out the class in 4th place, but I was determined. Also, I was never sure exactly how much I should be turning the resistance up. At one point, Sam told us to turn our resistance half a turn. Then he told us to do it again. I was at Gear 21, and I was thinking “dang, this is really hard.” Turns out, I was pushing myself crazy hard. My friend who is a religious CycleBar-er said she didn’t even know it went up to Gear 21!

Ultimately, I ended up in 2nd place for the class, behind the one man in the class, a big guy sitting in the back row. I was spying on him in the mirror, vying for first place. Damn you, “Marshall A.”! Oh well. 2nd is pretty darn good. Plus, they sent us our stats to our email after class and it said I burned 965 calories!! HIGHLY doubt that is true, but it made me feel better about consuming 10 Truly hard seltzers later that day! Overall, I’d definitely recommend Cyclebar. The staff was friendly, the atmosphere was fun, the leaderboard makes for friendly competition, and it was a great workout!

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