Big City Living

I Miss New York

2 Comments

You always hear “I <3 New York” from tourists and residents, but you rarely hear “I Miss New York.” In fact, in the past few weeks, New York has been getting a bad rap. There are articles popping up, even in the New York Times, about how “New York is Over.” And then there are die-hard New Yorkers who are coming for them. It’s become incredibly factious.

And honestly, the die-harders would probably say I have no right to speak on the issue, since I “fled” the city on March 14th. I’ve crossed the 5-month mark. This is by FAR the longest I’ve been away from my home city since I got there. Not that it was exactly my choice.

Speaking of my home, last week was New Yorkiversary! August 12th, 2010. A decade in New York – minus 5 months. And it feels so wrong not to be there for my anniversary, not to be able to celebrate with my friends or with my sister who lives 13 blocks from me (now 1,500 miles away).

Anyway, being away from New York, I feel like it gives me so much more of a right to stand up for it. I can talk about all of the things I miss. The things that make New York unique. Now, from an outsider’s perspective. Also, I still pay more than $3,000/month for a 500 square-foot, one-bedroom apartment, so I feel like I have a right. One does not pay that kind of rent for an uninhabited apartment unless one really loves New York.

Here are some of the things I miss:

  • Singing like no one’s listening… because they’re not. Sometimes I like to sing to the music in my ear pods. In a subway station, walking down the street, wherever. Sometimes alcohol is involved, sometimes I’m just feeling the song. And nobody looks at you twice because you can be guaranteed that you are not the weirdest thing they saw that day.
  • Wearing anything you want. Again, there are weirder outfits than yours. Crocs and PJ pants to the bodega for emergency Sunday morning Gatorade? Bra not mandatory. Speaking of…
  • Bodegas. I don’t miss the cats (IYKYK), but I miss that there is always a corner store open with anything you might need. Advil, sausage, egg and cheese sandwich, foil. Pretty much anything. Also, you can walk there!
  • Walking. As you read a few weeks ago, we went to Top Golf for a social distanced date night. And as we both ordered drinks, we looked at each other and realize, “EW one of us has to drive??? Lame.” In the five years of our relationship, we never have had to deal with that. Even on vacations, we had Ubers or public transportation.
  • Doormen. Not all people have them, but it’s much more normalized in New York. I miss drunkenly asking my doormen how their day was when I get home at 1 am. I miss the feeling of always having someone to smile at when I get home (I know some people would hate this – I’m friendly, I can’t help it). I miss someone to empathize with about the weather. I wonder if they miss me?
  • Running into friends in Central Park. When the whole city centers around the same park, it’s easier to accidentally find people there.
  • Flexible/Multiuse Space. Hear me out. New Yorkers are THE BEST at using the space they have. Whether it means building custom bookshelves that literally go to the ceiling, or having a table that functions as a desk, a dining table AND a library, there is no wasted space. I cannot imagine owning an ottoman that is not a comfortable chair, and also opens for storage. Or a TV that is not mounted on the wall. In Texas we a half-full walk-in closet in our room. In New York, it would be an office. Or a nursery. I think this makes New Yorkers incredibly talented and creative designers/innovators.
  • Sidewalk Waterers. Is anyone in NYC keeping them accountable?? If a sidewalk gets watered and it isn’t on my Instagram story, does it even get clean???
  • Food. I swear, guys, I didn’t realize the quality of food we have in New York. Don’t @ me, of course I knew about the Michelin star restaurants. I’m talking about fast-casual. The things we order from Seamless. Every restaurant we order in from in New York is AMAZING. If it isn’t, it closes. It’s crazy the sh*t food they get away with here in Texas. I had a sushi roll the other day… let’s just say I wish I hadn’t.

There are a lot of other things I miss about New York, but some of those things aren’t happening now anyway because of the pandemic. Those things include: sports, Broadway, boozy party brunches, the people in general, and the subway entertainment (I’ve been gone too long if I miss them). But I’ve got big news, we officially booked our tickets to come back to New York! One month and counting. It feels so wrong to be missing my 10th 9/11, but I will be thinking about my city and the struggles it will continue to get through as we remain New York Tough.

It will certainly be a challenge to work from home together with my new-fiancé in our tiny-home, but I can’t wait to get back to my city. I left a piece of my heart there, and despite what the internet-trolls say, I know it’s still there! Pandemic notwithstanding.

Continue Reading

Long Legs and other Personal Problems

Project Net Zero

3 Comments

Money is on a lot of our minds nowadays. Some people are worried how to pay bills this month because the government discontinued unemployment checks. Others of us are on Amazon every day buying our happiness to our doorstop. Either way, one thing is for sure: all of our spending habits have changed this year.

I am incredibly lucky to still have a job, and despite losing all of the income I was bringing in by teaching at the gym and braiding hair, I am still saving more than ever because I can barely spend any money. I’m cooking meals at home, having drinks at home, making coffee at home, not traveling anywhere… basically everything I spent money on BC (Before Covid), I can’t do anymore!

This change in spending habits came at a very interesting time, right after I got engaged. You may remember that my now-fiancé was the first person to whoop my finances into shape in 2017. He works in finance and needed to give me a crash course on how to be fiscally responsible. Now that we are talking about combining our lives and finances FOREVER, we talk about money a lot!

Back in 2017, he was horrified that I had credit card debt (not to mention my sky-high pile of student loans from law school), and he quickly taught me the importance of a retirement account. Also, I didn’t understand the concept of a savings account. I mean I did, but I didn’t have any money to put in said account.

I posted a blog in April 2017 to talk about my newfound addiction to mint.com. I finally gave in to my dad and boyfriend’s pleas to start budgeting and tracking money, and I became obsessed. At that time, I was checking my account every day. Now, it’s a little bit less, but it’s still fun to check! There’s something about watching the graphs populate that makes it fun to save. There is some science behind this; it’s all about the gamification. There are studies proving that this can work, and there are many apps that have been created specifically with this in mind. I love to look at the Trends tab with performance graphs and pie charts, and I love receiving the emails congratulating me about my increased credit score. The whole thing is fun. And since there’s nothing left in 2020 that’s fun, I was checking my mint the other day when I realized something… I’M ALMOST AT NET ZERO. That’s right, my net worth is approaching equilibrium. I told my fiancé and he said that when I get to net zero, we can throw an “Emily is Worth Nothing Party.”

Amazing News: I think I’ll get to Net Zero in a month or two.

Bad News: I was SO PSYCHED about the prospect of a party I didn’t realize that Covid would still be going on, so it was likely to be a party where I wear a party hat in the house and drink alone. Meh.

Anyway, I know you want to know how I got here. When I started using mint in September 2016, I had a net worth of $-107,000. At my lowest in November 2016, my net worth was $-111,612. Talk about daunting. I didn’t understand how I would ever dig myself out of 100K of debt by sticking to a $20/month coffee budget. You may recall my wake-up call was when my dad asked if I needed a payment plan to pay for my $120 state taxes. I was determined to try and get out of debt. Some of these tips and tricks you may be able to use, and some, I realize may not be applicable.

  1. Track your spending. This is pretty straightforward. Over time, tracking spending does change spending habits. For me, when I realized my $100 bar tab would show up at the end of the month on my mint, I thought twice before ordering another round.
  2. Get a roommate. I know, this seems dumb but BY FAR the most expensive thing each month in New York is rent. It’s astronomical. I never had a crazy expensive apartment, but I saved $500/month when I moved in with my boyfriend (now fiancé). The other day I added up how much I’ve saved on rent since we moved in together: $21,000 (42 months x $500). That’s a lot of moolah. Maybe you can’t move in with a boyfriend, but seriously consider how much of your paycheck you’re spending on rent before you sign a lease.
  3. Credit Card Churning, baby! This is a complicated concept for some, but if you’re spending money anyway, spend it in a way that earns you money back! (Spend more and save more! HA) I wrote a whole blog on it before, so I won’t reiterate, but I have probably saved $10K-$15K in travel in the past 4 years by solely using points.
  4. Set Goals. You guys know I’d rather set a goal than “make a resolution,” but SMART goals work! I had 4 financial goals in 2019, and by putting pen to paper and looking at them periodically, it kept me honest and committed. I surpassed them all! Make sure they are attainable, so you aren’t dejected.
  5. If you have student loans, try to understand repayment options and interest rates. Again, I wrote an entire blog series on my student loans, so I won’t say it again. But it’s important to know the interest rates of your loans so you can pay off the high interest ones first. Maybe combine it with #3 and get a credit card to pay off some of them.
  6. Take advantage of any retirement contribution from work. I am super guilty of NOT doing this. When my fiancé found out my work had a matching program that I was not taking advantage of, he literally texted me the next day at work to ask if I had signed up yet. And that means a lot because he does NOT text me during the day (we’ve worked on his texting; it’s gotten better since 2017). If your employer is matching any percentage of your contribution, take advantage. That is literally FREE money.
  7. Advocate for yourself at work. I’m talking about raises. Have you been at the same job for years without pay increases? You are your own best advocate. You need to figure out how to get compensated for your work. Is this easy? Hell no! It’s super hard. I coach people every day on how to ask for raises, and it’s still not easy for me to do! If you are very lost on where to start, I recently listened to a podcast with Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich, where he laid out a specific plan on how to speak to a supervisor about a raise.

I did all of the things I listed above, and more. Between lack of travel this year and decreased all-around spending, I am almost at Net Zero! Do I still have student loans? You betcha. Almost $100K still. But my retirement is growing, I have a 401K, a Roth IRA, a savings account, the whole deal. And more than the numbers, I feel like I’m in control of my finances for the first time in my life. Do any of you guys set financial goals? What’s the hardest part about it? Have you had any big achievements? What do you do to celebrate?

Continue Reading