Dry January

I DID IT!!! I didn’t drink for an entire month!! More than that, actually. I believe the last drink I had was on December 24^th. Maybe for some people this would not be a feat worthy of all-caps and exclamation marks (plural). For me, it is. My sister and brother-in-law love to quote me for a time I was extremely inebriated in their presence and I famously, and very drunkenly, proclaimed “I don’t drink drugs or alcohol.” Well folks, I do, indeed drink alcohol. Quite a bit of it. Or I did, in my youth.

Do you remember 4lokos? There was a famous uproar in November 2010 about the incredibly toxic and delicious energy drink/alcoholic beverage, and the FDA literally banned the drink, then they reformulated it and rereleased it in January 2011. But what was going to happen to the old formula 4lokos? Well, my friends, I was not about to let it go to waste, I can tell you that much. I was in my first year of law school, so of course this energy drink/alcoholic beverage provided 2 things I needed BADLY: caffeine and severe inebriation to forget about my life choices. I went immediately to my neighborhood bodega, where everybody knew my name. Actually, he didn’t know my name, he called me “the hot chick from the law school.” I loved that guy. Anyway, I asked about the old 4lokos, which he told me they were required to take off the shelves. This piqued my interest. Off the shelves? But… not in the trash?? My main cashier buddy brought me to the back room where he showed me the two cases that were unfit for sale. To which I, of course, offered cold hard cash and told him I’d take it off of his hands. Needless to say, I was a very popular 1L for the rest of the school year.

Why did I tell you that longwinded story? Mostly to prove my alcoholism, but also to remind you how horrible law school is and that I needed illegal energy drinks to get through it. Anyway, I obviously digressed. But y’all, I never thought I’d be one to attempt Dry January. This year, however, I figured, why not. New year, new me, right? Also, Omicron made it so that I was staying in my apartment anyway, so it seemed like a good of a time as any.

I wish I could tell you that it was EXCRUCIATINGLY hard and that I am a super fun party animal and I missed out on so many things because I was choosing to forgo booze. But… that’s just not true. I think maybe I am super lame now in my old age. And boring. Or maybe all of my friends aren’t going out because of Covid plus it’s been very, very cold. I definitely would have had a drink on New Year’s Eve, but the one couple we were choosing to spend the evening with got Covid, so we ended up home alone watching Queer Eye. Don’t get me wrong, it was amazing. I made pigs in a blanket and cried my eyes out to Jonathan Van Ness. But I didn’t need a drink. And that’s what kickstarted my semi-decision not to drink for the month.

There were three times I was tempted to imbibe.

1. I almost dropped the ball early, on January 5^th and 6^th. Chris and I went to Texas to surprise his brother-in-law on his 50^th birthday. First, we were upgraded to first class on the plane on the way there. FREE BOOZE! Then, we stayed in the house on Friday night and ordered in food and danced around the living room. Booze central! Then, the next day, there was a huge surprise party with multiple margarita machines. But… there was also Covid. And I didn’t want to take off my mask anywhere. So, I just decided to keep my mask on and chug water every now and again. I definitely did not want to be nauseous or hungover and smelling alcohol on my breath the next day in my mask on the flight home. I think I made the right decision.
2. I was ALMOST tempted on January 15^th when I went to brunch with my friend after an Orangetheory class. Not only did I sweat a LOT and felt like I “deserved” a drink, but it was VERY cold. I’m talking, “feels like 8 degrees” and we were sitting outside, #becausecovid. I really wanted a spiked hot apple cider. But I got a coffee instead. My only hot coffee of the month. I am #TeamYearroundIcedCoffee, but that’s a topic for another day.
3. Lastly, I was almost tempted to break my streak last Saturday, January 29^th, when I stayed inside all day and read an entire book on the couch. I had a scented candle going, and snow falling outside my window, and I really felt like I needed a coffee with Baileys and Kahlua to top off the day. But it was SO CLOSE to February. Instead, I settled for a seasonal pump of sugar free pumpkin syrup in my iced coffee and looked forward to the end of the month.

Honestly, being tempted to drink 3 times in 1 month is a huge transformation from my former self! I am basically a teetotaler now! And there’s one thing I definitely did not miss: hangovers. Sometimes nowadays I feel crappy for 2 full days after drinking! I guess that’s old age. Anyway, it was amazing to get good sleep every weekend, no heart palpitations, no cotton mouth in the morning, and no headaches! I will admit, last week I got a headache and I was PISSED. As I took out the Advil, I thought to myself, “I didn’t even get a night of dancing on the bar to feel it was worth this!” But, I was also productive every weekend day of the month. Well, maybe not the blizzard reading day, but that was a conscious decision. People often say quitting drinking makes your skin look great, but considering my constant N95 masks, I cannot vouch for this result. I would almost continue this non-drinking streak, but I am shopping for my wedding gown this weekend, and if I find one, I feel like I’ll need a celebratory drink for sure. Have any of you ever tried Dry January? My next 10+ month dry streak is likely going to be pregnancy-imposed. I think that one will be much tougher!