Miscellaneous

One Year Blog-iversary RECAP!

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HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO ME!!
Well, not to me me, but to LongLegsBigCity! Yesterday was the one year post-iversary of my very first blog entry, Tips for NYC Living. Not only is it my post-iversary, but this is my 100th post on my blog! It seems like yesterday that I was watching WordPress tutorials on YouTube all day every day, trying to figure out how to get something I wrote up on the internet for all to see. In my original welcome post to my blog, I told you what my blog would NOT be (a health, fashion, travel, dating, legal advice blog), and I have mostly stuck to those things. I am still figuring out exactly what my blog is, but so far it has been a mix of everything that makes me, me! LongLegsBigCity, a blog about my NYC problems, my life, my explorations of new fitness studios, and a few serious pieces.
I am officially at 84 blog subscribers, and I have even figured out how to make a weekly RSS newsletter using Mailchimp (this is why you need to subscribe, guys! Don’t you want to see my hilarious weekly TBT pics!? Put your email address in that annoying popup box when you go to my site!). So far, I have not achieved my ultimate goal for the blog: my dream of being discovered as a super funny, witty, hilarious, young female writer. If you know anyone at Betches, NY Mag, or any other publications, HOOK ME UP! Tell them how cool I am and how I can write about anything from 6-figure student loan debt to How to Be a Professional Wedding Guest.
I have tried to increase my social media presence (not many of you even thought this was possible), and I now have a LongLegsBigCity Twitter, Instagram, Spotify, and even Goodreads. Not all 84 of my subscribers have been with me all year, so as a celebration of my one year of blogging, and in commemoration of my 100th post, I wanted to recap my first year. I’ll even include some internal links in case you missed something you wish you hadn’t, or if you want to reread about my all-time favorite NYC Ice Cream in preparation for a trip to the big apple. I have recently added share buttons to each of my posts so you can share them on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or by email (or print them, for those technologically challenged among us). Please feel free to share and spread the word. I love to write, which is why I started this baby blog to begin with, but I love it more when I get feedback! Thank you all for reading and for supporting me in this side project of mine. I appreciate you all!
April 2017 – The Very Beginning + Half Marathon

The blog started with a bang. I decided to start with a list post about my Tips for NYC Living. Then, I shifted gears to talk about the biggest thing that was happening in my life: Half Marathon Training. I wanted to complete a half marathon before I turned 30, and my training was sidelined when I sprained my ankle weeks before the race. I still managed to finished, and posted yet another list post about my stream of consciousness thoughts as I ran 13.1 miles on a bum ankle. As you may have recently read, I have 2 healthy-ish ankles now and I am on a NEW quest to complete a FULL marathon by the end of 2019. Fingers Crossed! My half marathon posts got some of the most comments I ever received on my blog. Maybe that the real reason I decided to run a full…

May 2017 – My 30th Birthday and SO. MUCH. ICE. CREAM.

In May, I talked a bit about my birthday, being a Gemini and about trying to get in control of my finances. Personally, I loved writing about trying to use mint.com. Surprise, I’m still using it religiously. Surprise, I’m still not saving any more money. HA!.

Then the real fun began when I decided I would eat at 30 different ice cream places in 30 days for my 30th birthday. This quest became known as #30Years30IceCreams, a hashtag that continues to live on in infamy

 

I made the reveal announcement on May 11th and then I posted weekly recaps throughout the rest of the month (1, 2, 3), going into June. These posts became reallllyyy long and unwieldy. I had a ranking system, I had reviews, I had external links, and I had so many pictures. TBH I think most people just scrolled through the text for the pics.

June 2017 – Mommy’s Girl, Ex-Lawyer, Ex-Jew, OkCupid, Travel and MORE ICE CREAM!

Wow, I did a lot of posting in June. It must have been a slow time at work! After the unwieldy posts about ice cream (those took SO MUCH TIME to write!), I started to get into the vibe of writing more about myself. I wrote about being Jew-ish (amazing throwback pics in that one), and I wrote another stream of consciousness post on my 2nd anniversary with emoji bf, about my thoughts on our first date. I loved writing that one, and I got the most comments! My favorite part of that post was finding the perfect emoji to put on his face for each photo. I traveled to Montreal with emoji-man for our anniversary, and I took my first stab at travel-blogging. In retrospect, I think I wrote a little too much. I tried to work on that for later posts. But if you’re interested in Montreal, check it out!

Some people may think my most useful post was published in June, about Drinking in New York without breaking the bank. And then of course, MORE ICE CREAM! The Scooper Bowl, Week 4, and the final summary. Check out the summary for my favorite ones! I consumed all those calories so you didn’t have to. Speaking of calories, June is the first time I did a review of fitness studio, 305 Fitness. This became a trend. More fitness reviews coming in the future!

Also, I posted about my borderline-obsessive communication with my mom. I call her every day. And/or text. And/or email. And/or tag her on Facebook. She still wants to guest-blog for me at some point. Stay tuned!

Most importantly, I posted my first blog about being a “Recovering Attorney,” and why I always advise everyone I know to avoid law school at all costs. And the costs are high. Like hundreds of thousands high. This remains my 2nd most popular post of all time, with 245 views. Feel free to share it with your friends, and not share it with your enemies if you wish 6-figure debt on them.

July 2017 – Summer in NYC, Travel, and more Fitness Reviews

In July, I started to get into real blogs about things happening in my life, from working in a construction zone, to rainy days in NYC, to super, super hot subway cars. Here’s what I found: people didn’t really care. People tended not to read these, at least according to my site analytics. I’m not sure what that says about me or my life; either I’m boring, or people just DGAF. Or maybe people didn’t know I was hilarious yet. I’m hilarious, right? Maybe now that they know, they’ll click back and read them. Probably not.

I had a few more reads on my travel posts, maybe because I wrote a bit less than that first post in Montreal, and focused on the big events on my trips. Also, I’m pretty sure EVERYONE loves looking at ridiculous photos of me on Segways. I went to Traver’s Island for the 4th of July, I went to DC for a wedding, AND I went down the shore in New Jersey. Busy month.

I also continued with reviews of fitness classes. I went to The Dance and Orangetheory in July. More importantly, I introduced the world to my addition: my Fitbit. It goes everywhere with me. It did in July and it still does now.

August 2017 – Full Time Slavery, Fitness, and STUDENT LOANS

I started the month of August in Pennsylvania, helping my mom rehab after her hip replacement surgery. I lovingly called my post about my time there “My Life as a Full Time Slave.” This post had a surprising amount of views. I secretly think this is because half of my 84 subscribers are my mom’s friends. I’m semi-positive of this. My mom is my biggest fan, after all. She comments on almost all of my posts!

She was up and walking around with a cane one week after surgery!

August brought more fitness posts, including a review of my all-time favorite spin studio in NYC, Peloton. Although this was the first time I mentioned Peloton, it was not the last, and I’m sure there are even more to come. I also talked about how to join a gym for free, and about a free rooftop class I attended in NYC. Free is my favorite price. Another trend on my blog. Why? Because of my student debt.

The most important post of the month was the beginning of my exposé about my student loans. To date, this is the most read post I have ever written. I spent months thinking about possibly talking about my loans, but I was embarrassed about it. I waffled back and forth for a few weeks and surveyed some friends to see if they would be interested in reading it. Ultimately, they all said yes, but I was still scared to talk about it. After some introspection, I decided that was the perfect way to start the conversation. Why was I so embarrassed? Why was I scared to speak about it? Doesn’t everyone have loans? Clearly people related to my story, or at least empathized; it has 279 views!

September 2017 – New York on 9-11, Park City, and MORE student loans

September began in a very New York Fashion, with a mystery date pulled off seamlessly by emoji boyfriend, including a hotel room overlooking the Freedom Tower, the night before 9-11. I talked about our date, and what it’s like to live in NYC every year on this somber day.

I also recapped some September travel; I was a busy bee! I went to Florida and Park City, Utah, where I stayed in the coolest house I’ve ever been in. I also continued my saga about student loans, and I actually revealed the amount of money I owe. Spoiler alert, it’s more than $100K. GASP. Pause for heart defibrillation. I wrote another post about how this massive debt hanging over my head affects my decisions, everything from whether to get Starbucks, to when or if I can ever think about having children. It was a heavy month.

October 2017 – Fitness & Spotify, Finale of Student Loan Saga, and Halloween/Costuming Madness

I started the month with some light-hearted content (to take a break from that student-loan-downer-crap) about fitness classes. I tried BollyX for the first time, and I had a participant in my Spin class make a playlist and be my guest DJ for the night. I also introduced my readers to my Spotify for the first time. Follow me if you want two amazing playlists every week! Hint: My username is LongLegsBigCity.

I finally finished my student loan memoir by talking about how I am trying to pay them off. I provided some practical tips, but more than anything I just told my story. Take it or leave it. It’s my blog and I’ll write if I want to.

October would not be complete without at least 4 posts about my favorite holiday of the year: HALLOWEEN!! Most likely I will post 2-3 times about Halloween every year, in perpetuity. This year, I wrote a poem the night before the Halloween Pub Crawl, I wrote about the crawl itself, I wrote about an adventure upstate to the Great Jack-O-Lantern Blaze, AND I wrote about my all-time favorite pastime: DIY costuming. Are we cute? DUH.

So cute.
November 2017 – Marathon Sunday, Macy’s Parade, and moreeee weddings

November is the month of my 3 favorite events of the year, Marathon Sunday, the VS Fashion Show, AND the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. If you think I’m kidding about that last one, you don’t know me, or you haven’t been following this blog very carefully. This year, I posted not 1, not 2, but THREE times about Thanksgiving and the Macy’s Parade. I wish I could promise you I wouldn’t do it again, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie.

November was also all about weddings. I attended 2, in 2 different states (neither of them was New York), and I posted about my trip to Durham, North Carolina as well as another great list post of my tips on how to be a Professional Wedding Guest. And I am one. It must be true, it’s in my Instagram Bio.

December 2017 – Winter/Christmas in NY, #MeToo and New Year Resolutions

Winter finally arrived, so I posted about the first NYC snow, the magic that comes along with it, and the piles of sludge and yellow snow that come after it. I also wrote about an NYC staple: Christmas at Rolf’s.

I tackled my first serious post since my student loan saga when I posted about My Worst First, one of my many #MeToo experiences. This was my 4th-most viewed post, and it was another one I was initially afraid to post. Being vulnerable on the internet is a scary thing, but ultimately I think people enjoy reading it, whether it is to secretly troll me or because they actually relate to my stories and appreciate them because they make people feel less alone. I prefer to think it is the second reason. Speaking of trolls, I got a NOT-so-secret one on that post that was nasty and I did not approve his comment. I was semi-honored to have a troll at all though, not gonna lie.

I closed out the year by talking about resolutions, both my general thoughts about them, and my personal resolutions. Stay tuned this year to see if I followed through!

January 2018 – Midnight Run, West Coast Travels, and Moving Saga

My year began with a bang. A very, very, very cold bang. I ran the Midnight Race in Central Park in temperatures lower than 20 Fahrenheit. This run inspired me to start signing up for races again, and led to my decision to embark on 9+1, the road to the TCS New York marathon, which I did not actually write about until two days ago.

My month was dominated by two huge events: a west coast trip to Seattle and Vancouver to visit my best friend, and trying to find a place to live in New York. Yes, it was difficult to do both of those things simultaneously. I was worried we would be homeless. Spoiler Alert: we are not. I also was worried that our old, TERRIBLE leasing company would swindle us out of thousands of dollars. Spoiler Alert: They did not, but they sure tried to. I used that Esq. after my name in every dang email I sent. It was a veritable saga.

February 2018 – Moving, West Coast Ice Cream, and Sara Bareilles in Waitress on Broadway

February was a crazy busy month for me between moving (we found a place, YAY!) and a 10-day work trip to California. I posted about the horrific experience of moving in NYC, as well as a quick west coast edition of #30Years30IceCreams. It had been almost 8 months since I talked about ice cream, I knew you guys missed it.

Although I was busy, I managed to see my musical IDOL, Sara Bareilles, on Broadway in Waitress, a play she wrote the music to. We even had a backstage tour before the show! It was an absolute dream come true.

March 2018 – Reading, SoulCycle, and My Missing IUD

I wrote a 3-part series about reading, which is what I am usually doing when I’m not writing. I am addicted to Goodreads, where you can follow me and read along.

Although I only posted a few times in March, I wrote two of my top 10 posts during this month. First, I wrote about another personal saga, when my IUD disappeared inside my uterus. I guess I decided that there is no such thing as boundaries for me.

Lastly, I posted about my hatred for SoulCycle. I got another troll comment! I really made it!

April 2018 – Old People & technology, 9+1

We made it! We finally got to the current month. If you have read this whole recap, you are a real, true, LongLegsBigCity fan. Hi, Mommy! I think it’s just you and me, now. I can’t wait for your comment!

This month I talked about old people and technology (with a special shoutout to my mom), and I began my 9+1 journey with you on my way to the TCS NYC Marathon aka #SoreLegsLongDistance.

I hope you all continue to follow along on this blogging side hustle of mine in 2018 and beyond. I appreciate all of your reads, and I absolutely LOVE getting comments! I promise to reply to each of you. Until I get super, crazy famous, that is, and there are just wayyy too many to reply to. Considering I still don’t have 100 subscribers, and my mom is usually the only one who comments, I can probably keep this promise for a while.
If anyone wants to get me a cake for my 1-year-blog-iversary, I won’t say no. Or ice cream.

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Big City Living, Miscellaneous

Holi in the City – Dos and Don’ts

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Over the weekend, I went to the Holi party. According to the almighty Wikipedia, Holi also known as the “festival of colors”, is an Indian and Nepali spring festival celebrated all across the Indian subcontinent as well as in countries with large Indian subcontinent diaspora populations. In case you decided to fact-check me and google the holiday yourself, you’d probably find out very quickly that it was actually a month ago, on March 20. However, New Yorkers love any excuse to party, and you can find Holi celebration all the way through May, including a supposedly epic festival on Governor’s Island on May 12. Unfortunately, I have a serious case of first world problems, and I will be in Spain for that one, so I had to celebrate early/late.

In case you got all the way through that first paragraph without actually googling this holiday, you’re probably still lost. Basically, Holi is a playful cultural event and an excuse to throw colored water at friends or strangers in jest. There is religious and cultural significance, as well as many other rituals and traditions, but in New York City, this mostly translates into partying, drinking, dancing and getting very very messy. I like all of those things.

This was my 4th NYC Holi celebration. I am not Indian or Nepali, but I consider myself a bit of an expert at this point. Here’s what I’ve learned, in a quick list of Dos and Don’ts:

  • DO Wear White. The whole point here is to throw color and be colorful. It shows up best when you’re wearing white. Makes sense.
  • Do Get a Fanny Pack. I’m not kidding. I got an awesome metallic one on Amazon for 12 dollars. Worth every penny. I’ve already used it twice. Fanny packs are trending again. You heard it here first (and everywhere else). You’ll need somewhere to stash your stuff, and you won’t want to ruin a good purse.
  • DO Take Photos Before You Arrive. It’s the last time your clothes will be white. (See next bullet below.) It’s fun to compare.
  • DON’T Wear Clothes You Plan to Wear Ever Again. I really mean this. Buy cheap white stuff, and plan to throw it away. Even with bleach, your clothes will most likely have a pinky bluey tinge to them. Another option, keep them for the next year’s Holi party! Designated white(-ish) outfit. Personally, I have a pair of capris I have kept for a few years. They are never going to be white-white again. I also purchased a 3XL tank top at Old Navy this year for $2.97 and ripped it and tied it in the back. Then I got a bralette on sale in black. It still looks black so I think I can wear it again. So fiscally savvy.
  • DO Pregame. I have talked about the almighty powers of the pregame before. It is 100% necessary for Holi for two reasons: 1. It’s way more fun to be messy and not care about being touched and dirtied by strangers when you are slightly inebriated. 2. Drinks are expensive there and I’m poor. A well drink goes for about $11. This year, I hosted my two friends at my place for a pre-party and brunch. I cooked French toast (for the very first time… and it was actually delicious!) and we had cucumber vodka & sodas. By the time we left, I was feeling fab!
    • Additional tip I snuck in there, eat something first! Bread is key to staying strong and fighting through crowds for the color bins.
  • DO Sneak in Booze. Other ways to not pay exorbitant money for booze: BYOB. After our French toast brunch & pregame, we headed to the liquor store to stock up. I hid a few mini bottles in the back pocket of my fanny pack. Warning: make sure to hide these anywhere that is NOT the main pocket. They do check bags and unfortunately a friend of mine got her bottles taken! Other option, drink them in the Uber on the way there and don’t let the driver see.
  • DO Put Your Cell Phone in A Ziploc Bag. You’ll want photos. But you’ll probably also want to use your phone again. Speaking of…
  • DO Take a Million Pics. With everyone you can find.
  • DON’T Think It’s a Good Idea to Make a Snow Angel in Colored Dye.

Or do. It all depends on how long you want your body to be all the colors of the rainbow. I am currently 3 days post-Holi, innumerable minutes in the shower, and my underarms are still blue. You can see this in the photo.

  • DON’T Be Afraid to PUSH PEOPLE TO GET TO THE COLOR BINS. This is like pushing small children aside to get the best view of the Macy’s Parade. It may not be a pleasant experience, but it’s always worth it. The way the color works is, they have people working for the event, and the periodically come out of a side door carrying bins of powdered color. The first thing you MUST do when you arrive is FIND that hidden side door. This must be done even before finding the bar. The bar is unnecessary anyway, since you’ll be packin’ your own booze. Once you find the secret door, set up shop to dance around and wait. Your prep work will pay off. You’ll be the most colorful ones there. It will be PACKED. Do not be discouraged.
  • DO Wear the Sunglasses They Provide. There will be so much color dust. In your ears for days. In your nose for days. On your clothes. In all crevices you didn’t even realize were uncovered. Don’t let it get in your eyes. My friend who went with me had to throw away her contact lenses! Luckily I wear dailies. Shade your eyes.
  • DO Try to Give Your Friends Piggyback Rides, the Do Prepare to Fail. There is a lot of booze involved and the powder is slippery.
  • DO Dance All Day to Bollywood Music. I got over 10,000 steps from dancing! It’s better than the gym.
  • DO Sign Up Again Next Year. Sometimes they have discount codes for return customers! I can’t wait for next year. Now I have a handy checklist to prepare, and you do, too!
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Miscellaneous

Old People Navigating Technology

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It has been EXACTLY one full year, to the day, since I posted by first entry on my blog (annual recap coming soon!). It’s finally time to tell you what my day job is. No, I do not teach fitness classes all day long, although it seems that way sometimes. In fact, all day long I help old people with technology. Yes, that’s right, all I do all the live-long day is sit at a desk for 9 hours and tell people how to reset their passwords and send emails. That is not technically my job description, but in reality, I spend 80% of my day doing this.

It seemed like a topical moment to bring up my career in light of the Mark Zuckerberg Congressional Hearings. Today is his second day before the Senate, and as CNN noted yesterday, he was saved from any and all hard-hitting questions due to one salient fact: old people just don’t get Facebook.

One poignant moment:

Senator: “How do you sustain a business model in which users don’t pay for your service?”

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads.”

Awk-ward.

We all know the feeling. We’ve seen grandparents post private messages as Facebook statuses, not realizing the world would see it. Or we’ve seen parents try to check in with their kids by posting on their Facebook wall. Esurance even made an infamous commercial about old people not understanding Facebook, and that was 3 years ago! In the commercial, a (slightly less) old person tells the older person, “That’s not how it works! That’s not how any of this works!”

I wasn’t the least bit surprised by the lack of understanding by Congress. After all, this is what I do all day. Am I exaggerating? I WISH.

Let me begin with a quick story about my mom. No offense. When I was growing up, I think I showed her how to insert, save to, and eject, a floppy disk 10+ times. I was in middle school. At the time, I couldn’t believe her ineptitude. I say to my younger self now, “you were the idiot, your mom is a tech genius.” Compared to other old people, that is.

And it’s true. My mom is great with technology now. She texts, she sends photos, she emails from her phone, she even knows how to post on Facebook from her phone. My dad recently got a new iphone from work and now he’s on Instagram. He is constantly showing up as “people you may know” for my friends. But that’s an entirely different problem.

I didn’t realize how great my parents were at technology until I realized how strikingly BAD other people are in comparison. Everything is relative.

Quick REAL story from my job. An old member of our organization called, lamenting that his password didn’t work. He said it was probably because “he was using an ipad” (!!). Of course. We get this call at least 10 times a day, and every time, it’s always our fault that they forgot their password. Or that our website “doesn’t work on a phone.” That is not a thing, by the way.

Anyway, this time, a newer coworker who fielded the call asked him if he could “send her a screenshot.” This is a normal request for a millennial. We all know how to press “print screen,” and send the photo in an email. But 80-year-olds do not understand this concept. However, the 80-year old agreed to send one. The whole office waited anxiously to see what we were going to receive. Was it going to be a hand-drawn sketch? Would he send it in the actual snail mail? Would it come through the fax machine? Does our fax machine even work? So many questions.

Approximately 10 minutes later, my coworker received an email with a photo attached. We were elated. Did he figure it out? Was it possible? Spoiler alert: it was not. He sent a thumbnail photo, with terrible resolution, probably taken from a Nokia flip phone, of a screen. You could ALMOST make out that it was an iPad, but you definitely could not see what was on the screen. Which, of course, was the entire point.

Now imagine trying to explain videoconferencing to the type of person who doesn’t understand a screenshot. It’s an adventure. Once you have finally explained to them that they need to have a camera on their computer, and that the screen itself does not just “see them,” you still need to explain the intricacies. Example taken verbatim from my Facebook status on September 2, 2016:

80-year-old: “I don’t see you! Do you see me? I only see a gray picture of a human. Not a real human.”

Me: “Yes I see you, I don’t have my camera on. I’ll invite my coworker so you can see him.”

80-y-o: “I SEE YOU! Wait, no, it’s a man. A very HANDSOME man but you SOUND like a young lady.”

Me: “Yes, I am still the gray picture of a human. Still don’t have a camera. That is my coworker.”

80-y-o: “Oh thank goodness, ok. I thought I needed new glasses.”

Another quick work story: Yesterday, another coworker asked for a member’s electronic signature. The member was baffled. What is an electronic signature? The coworker explained it is a photo of a signature, to be used in electronic documents, so it appears as if it was signed. The member explained that he works in such a small community, that he just signs everything by hand. Endearing. The world before the internet. Remember the days? Not really.

One more story from work. This one requires a bit of back-story. I work in a semi-open space. There are a few desks in my office “pod,” but one is behind a door that is usually open, and another in behind a cubicle wall. We often talk to each other on gchat, so we can speak to each other without making a sound. This especially comes in handy when we are on the phone. This week, I had a phone call where I was attempting to explain the process of registering to post a job on our website. This is a semi-difficult task for the technologically challenged (aka anyone over the age of 40), so I am used to explaining the process in a slow and clear fashion. This specific guy was really not getting it. All of a sudden, a gchat shows up from a coworker, “who are you speaking to? Are they deaf? Or 80 years old?” I guess I was being very slow. And loud. Oops.

Yet another story from work: We have a member who calls every week. He has no idea what his password is. In our office, we have a stock reset password we use. Let’s call it “123Abc.” This man calls once a week, without fail, and every time it’s because he “forgot his password” or his password “doesn’t work.” Meanwhile, every single member of our staff knows that his password is always “123Abc,” because he doesn’t know how to reset it from our stock password. And yet, every week like clockwork, he calls and asks us to reset his password, and every week we remind him what it is, and tell him we reset it, when really we know it is still the same from last time. Maybe he just likes talking to us.

I do think sometimes that these people call the office only because they are lonely, which is sad. Maybe my mom only calls me under the ruse that her weather widget “disappeared from her home screen of her cell phone,” when she really just misses me. Either way, I’m happy to chat with her and help her reinstall her apps. Every time I read an article, or see someone on TV talk about how millennials are “incompetent” or “not self-sufficient,” I will produce as evidence, this blog. It may be that I can’t change a tire. But I can gchat, video-conference, write a blog, post on Instagram, stream Netflix, AND scroll through twitter simultaneously. And I’m pretty darn good at explaining all of those things to 80-year-olds, as well. Maybe someday when I need to change my tire, there will be an elderly gentleman there to help me and return the favor.

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Miscellaneous

Goodreads (Read Across America Day – Part 3)

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I’m a bit late on this third installment (did you catch the first and second installments?), but it’s because I was busy reading! I finally finished all 500 pages of Hillary’s book, cried the whole time, and now I’ve moved on to a much lighter read… about a murder in the woods at a bachelorette party. Want to know the title? Follow me on Goodreads!

Goodreads was launched in 2007, and although I have been reading for years, I only discovered it a year ago, in March 2017. Since then, I have tried to use it consistently. According to their home page, Goodreads is “the world’s largest site for readers and book recommendations.” Their mission is “to help people find and share books they love.” Alright. They got me. I’m in.

Again, quoting from their website, here are a few things you can do on Goodreads:

  • See what books your friends are reading.
  • Track the books you’re reading, have read, and want to read.
  • Check out your personalized book recommendations. Their recommendation engine analyzes 20 billion data points to give suggestions tailored to your literary tastes.
  • Find out if a book is a good fit for you from community reviews.

Basically, it’s Facebook combined with Amazon book recommendations, but so much more. On Goodreads, you can create a free account, and then you have three “bookshelves”: Read, Currently-Reading, and To-Read. I currently have 151 on my read list, and 108 on my to-read. I try not to get carried away with my to-read list, but I always fail. It looks like I better continue to enjoy reading for a very very long time. There is so much to rave about, but I will focus my post on my top 3:

  1. Organization/Statistics
  2. Friends, Reviews & Recommendations
  3. Lists

Organization/Statistics

My favorite part of Goodreads is the ability to organize. On my “bookshelves,” I am able to sort by the date I began reading a book, sort by rating, or sort by author or title. I love to be able to keep all of my books in one place. My mom used to send me emails all the time with recommendations. When it came time to take books out of the library, I would have to search my inbox for emails from my mom, like “Mommy + Books” and then sift through months of recommendations and try to remember what I read. Now, when she mentions a book I just add it to my “to-read” shelf on Goodreads. And when I read it, I migrate it to “read.” It’s so easy! They even have app so I can add books on the go!

Also, there are statistics.

If you learned anything from my obsession with Peloton, it’s that I love and am motivated by statistics. Whether that’s “best output” on the stationary bike, or “how many pages I’ve read in 2017,” I’m here for it. Good thing Goodreads loves statistics, too! By clicking “stats,” I can see how many books I read per year, and I can even see the amount of pages. In 2017, I read 33 books, or 10,294 pages. Also, you can click into the year, and find out how you rated the books. It’s awesome. So far in 2018 I’m at 8 books, 3135 pages. Hopefully I can beat last year’s total!

Friends, Reviews & Recommendations

The CEO and Co-Founder of Goodreads said that he was struck by an idea when he was scanning his friend’s bookshelf: when he wanted to know what books to read, he’d rather turn to a friend than any random person or bestseller list. This is true for me, too. I always ask my friends or my mom what they are reading. Goodreads puts Facebook together with the NYT Bestseller Lists, and it’s truly the best.

I add friends from my Facebook or contacts, and then I can see what they are currently reading, how they reviewed books I was thinking of reading, and when they add a new book to their to-read bookshelf. I have friends whose tastes are very similar to mine, whose books I always add to my lists as soon as they add them. I also have friends with more serious/intellectual taste than me, but I still try to pick a few of their books per year to open my eyes to new views or voices.

Goodreads also allows for you to rate the books (1-5 stars) after you finish, and to write reviews. I love to read my friends’ reviews, and therefore I feel it’s the right thing to do to write my own reviews as well! I tend to rate most of my books 3-5, because I wouldn’t read it if I wasn’t interested. But every once in a while, I get a real dud that I rate a 2.

Besides my friends’ recommendations and ratings, I also pick books based on “community” ratings and reviews. Each book has an average rating, and if it’s 3.7 or above, it’ll probably be pretty good. Despite the many troll reviews on Hillary’s book, it’s still rated 4.03! Not bad. Here’s my review for a little taste:

Read. This. Book. I don’t know where to begin. I was a bit worried I wouldn’t fully understand everything in this book because although I was/am a big Hill supporter, I don’t know all of the names of her campaign people or the all of the ins and outs of her tenure as Secretary of State. But she wrote this book for all readers and it was easy to read and clear throughout. There were a few sections that were very dense and poll/number heavy, but overall it was an insightful, interesting, and deeply personal book. I really felt her pain and regrets, and I even cried about 15 times. (It’s a long book!) I feel like this should be mandatory reading for all Americans who were swayed by the media, who didn’t understand the whole picture of the election, who STILL don’t believe in the Russian collusion, and also, for people who argued that Hillary doesn’t have emotions. She’s human, just like us! and she loves her Chardonnay, just like me. I’m still with her. I’d give this 10 stars if I could.

Lists

My favorite way to find books to read is by perusing the Goodreads “lists.” If I love a book, I can go to the page for the book, and scroll down below the summary and reviews, and it tells you which lists the book appears on, like “beach reads of 2016” or “best YA fiction of 2017.” Then you can go to those lists and find other similar books. Also, at the end of the year, they publish “Best Books” lists, where readers can nominate, rank and rate their favorites in different categories for the year. You can also go back 10 years to view the past year favs. I have taken many books from these lists and I can’t wait to read them all!

The real challenge is, how do I read 100 books/year AND keep up with my blog?? Only time will tell. Meanwhile, follow me on Goodreads for more recommendations!

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Big City Living, Miscellaneous

Reading in NYC (Read Across America Day – Part 2)

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Last Friday was Read Across America Day, and in honor of that, I’m in the middle of a short series on my passion for books. A few days ago, I talked about reading in general. Now, I’ll write about the challenges of reading in New York City (there are a lot). And stay tuned for the final segment coming soon about my experience with Goodreads.

Picture this: You’re inside a steel tube, traveling anywhere from 10-55 miles per hour, standing, possibly holding on to a pole nearby, or possibly just bending your knees slightly to keep from falling onto the other 180 passengers in your rush hour car that are smushed like sardines. Now imagine all of that, and add a 500-page book in your hands. What do you do when you need to flip the page? Do you wait until you’re stopped? Is it worse then, because people are pushing past you to try and exit? Do you try and flip the page while in motion and just hope the subway doesn’t screech to a halt at the exact moment you take your hand off of the wall?

Alternative situation: You actually get a seat on the train! MIRACLE! And then you look up from your book because the bass from a portable speaker wakes you from your reading reverie. And you hear the dreaded words, “IT’S SHOWTIME!!” All of a sudden, you can’t see the words on the page because some youngster’s sneakers are dangling in front of your face as he swings from the pole above your head.

These are a few of the perils of reading in NYC. It’s not easy. Yet 8 years later, I consider myself a master.

When I was in law school, I used to read textbooks on the train. This is when I honed my skills. I managed to balance enough to read, highlight, AND make margin notes. I mastered the art of finding a vertical pole, instead of a horizontal one, and hooking my elbow around it, so I could hold the case book open in one hand and make notes with the other. From that point on, I knew if I could do that, I could read anything. If I could understand corporate law, I could easily read a YA novel while in motion.

One essential key to being successful at NYC reading: earbuds. A (non-NYC resident) friend recently remarked that she couldn’t believe I read while I listen to music. It’s less about the music, and more about the blocking of other background noise. For example, the constant barrage of people begging for money. Another example, the other day I was on a train from 72nd to 14th street on a weekend, and there were announcements the entire time about service changes. I couldn’t understand half of the announcements, but the staticky sound is worse than a little background Pentatonix in my ears while I read about Hillary Clinton. Earbuds keep me in the zone. I can tune out everything around me. This may also be why I’m so bad at celebrity-spotting – I’m in my own world!

It should follow that I like audiobooks, but that is not the case. Every once in a while, you do need to take out your earbuds to hear an essential announcement. For example, your train is skipping all stops between 59th street and 125th street. This has happened multiple times. If I’m listening to an audiobook I can miss a crucial part, and it’s not easy to rewind and find the spot! I find myself staring into space, reading the subway ads (doesn’t everyone LOVE the new OKCupid campaign?), and of course, people-watching. I prefer to stick with paper books, so I can see where I left off and find my spot after observing the many colorful people and their various face tattoos.

Speaking of paper books, wouldn’t a Kindle be easier? YES. The answer is invariably, yes. First of all, New Yorkers don’t have cars to leave their stuff in. If you bring anything with you, you will be carrying it all day long. The preference is always “less is more.” A 500-page book is never the first choice. Also, it’s easier to flick to the next page than to balance and deftly page-turn. However, nothing beats the feeling of a real book. Also, it’s easier for me to focus on paper than on a screen, but that is my personal preference. To give my shoulders a rest from heavy bags, I generally switch back and forth between real books and kindle books, depending on which is available from the library. This brings me to my next point – the amazing, fantastic, best library system ever: the New York Public Library System.

The NYPL currently has 92 locations including four research centers and a network of neighborhood libraries throughout the Bronx, Manhattan, and Staten Island. The Library serves 18 million patrons who come through its doors annually; in addition, the Library’s website receives 32 million visits annually from more than 200 countries. WOAH. That needed its own paragraph.

I love the library. How else could I go through 4-5 books/month and still have money to pay astronomical rent?? There is almost nothing in this city that is completely free of charge, but the library is one of those things. Sort of. I tend to rack up overdue fees because I get carried away and check out too many books at a time. I never mind paying overdue fees, though, because I feel like I’m supporting the library, 25 cents at a time! Also, you can pay online with a credit card and get points! Love me some credit card points. The flip side of overdue fees is yet another positive part of the library – eventually you need to return the books. Some may not view this as a positive. If you think this is a negative, you must not live in New York. In 500 square feet or less. Where would I keep all of the books!? It’s great that I can keep 2 or 3 at a time and then swap them out. I feel like Matilda where she brings her books back and forth to the library in her red wagon, except it’s me on the subway.

The best part about the library, besides it being my favorite price, is their hold lists. You can go on the NYPL website, put any book you want on hold and tell them which branch you want to pick it up, and you get an email when it’s there. The book is set aside, at the front of the library, labeled with your library card number, and you are in and out in under a minute. They even have self-checkout kiosks (when they’re working). It’s so easy, I never understand when people tell me they don’t use the library. The number one comment I hear from people is that they don’t use the library because they only use e-readers. Well guess what? They have those, too. Not the actual e-reader, but the e-books! They have Kindle format, overdrive format, 3M format… everything! FO FREE. It’s amazing.

Overall, the best part of reading in NYC is the fact that you can read during your commute. I complained a lot about the subway distractions at the beginning of this post, but I remind myself often that if I drove to work, I’d never be able to read in transit. The fact that I can read, and on good days, SIT and read, while I get to where I’m going, is a luxury I must address. I remember the years of sitting in traffic to commute, trying to distract myself by listening to the corny morning radio host, but nothing beats reading a book while someone else does the driving for you. If it wasn’t for New York, I’d read a lot less. That being said, it can be a challenge, but practice makes perfect.

Stay tuned later this week for my experience using Goodreads, how I use it to find my next books, rate my favorites, and keep track of all of the ones I’ve read – there are a lot!

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Miscellaneous

Reading (Read Across America Day – Part 1)

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Obviously I love to write. Why else would I have this blog that I don’t even get paid for? But even more than I love to write, I LOVE to read. My boss at this gym asked me this week what I was reading, and she said, “Whenever someone tells me that they don’t have time to read, I tell them about you. Because you’re the busiest person I know and yet you always have a book in your bag.” I felt pretty proud of that.

Yesterday was Read Across America Day, and in honor of that, I’m going to do a short series on my passion for books. First, about reading in general. Then, about how I can read in NYC. It’s a challenge. And finally, about Goodreads, which has changed my life and has opened my eyes to many, many, many more books.

Speaking of NYC, my constant reading is now a consequence of my V long subway rides (made longer every day by the nonfunctioning MTA), but it wasn’t always that way. I used to hate reading. In fact, my parents used to BRIBE me to read. With money. Granted it was only a quarter per book (change used to actually buy things back then!), but I used to have a chart in my room where I could put up a sticker every time I read a book. Clearly this led to some childish “cheating,” trying to figure out what the SHORTEST books were. Also, for some reason I loved reading books in series. Maybe it felt like less books because a lot of the characters were the same. The two different book series I remember clearly reading every one of was the Babysitter’s Club and Nancy Drew. I loved Nancy Drew. But never Hardy Boys. EW BOYS. COOTIES. I truly believe my Nancy Drew addiction blossomed into my later-in-life Law and Order SVU addiction. Sort of similar (looking at you, Detective Benson).

A lot has changed since my early days of reading bribery. For example, the store where I got my books doesn’t even exist anymore! RIP Borders. I went through a very long “sick-lit” phase where the only books I read were about people dying. I knew more about cancer and brain tumors than 99% of healthy 12-year-olds. I remember every Monday night, going to Borders for my brother to play chess with the old men in the café (this really happened), and I would scour the back of the store for a new book by Lurlene McDaniel. Literally every single book she wrote, I read. According to her Wikipedia, she has written more than 70. I had favorites. I had favorite diseases. I think I was sick, myself. Mentally. But my mom never complained, she was just happy I was reading without her shelling out a quarter per book for me.

I don’t read exclusively sicklit anymore, but I do have some favorite authors, and some of them do love sicklit. Every author in this paragraph, I’ve read every book by them. And if they have new books coming out soon, I already have a hold on their books at the library. First there’s Lisa Genova, who writes almost exclusively about illness, but in a more neuroscience-y way (graduated valedictorian, summa cum laude from Bates College with a degree in Biopsychology and has a Ph.D. in Neuroscience from Harvard University… she’s pretty smart). You probably know her book, Still Alice, because it was made into an award-winning movie with Julianne Moore. And then of course another brand of literature I eat up… anything sad and terrible. Enter, Jodi Picoult. She writes about suicide, and school shootings, and racism. It’s too much to handle for some people, but I just love it. I listened to her most recent book, Small Great Things, on audio on my phone, because the wait list for the paper version was too long and I just HAD to hear it right away. There were at least 10 times where I was walking down the street or sitting on the subway with a steady stream of tears down my face. Then there is the new-comer to the scene, Liane Moriarty. You probably also know her because of the HBO series made from her book, Big Little Lies, with Reese Witherspoon, Nicole Kidman, Shailene Woodley and Laura Dern. I mean, come on, to get a cast like that, obviously the book was amazing. That was not even my favorite book of hers. I have many other favorites. I love chicklit in general, and I think 90% of the books I read are written by women. Jennifer Weiner, Lisa Scottoline, you name it, I’ve read them all. This year, I am keeping track of the gender of the authors I read in my bullet journal. I’ll keep you posted. If you follow me on Goodreads, you will be up-to-date with all of the books on my shelves, but more on that later this week.

My newest goal this year is to read more non-fiction. I had a head-start last year with a few comedian memoirs (Amy Schumer, Jessi Klein, Mindy Kaling, Lauren Graham), and then some heavier ones (Forty Million Dollar Slaves, F*cked: Being Sexually Explorative and Self-Confident in a World That’s Screwed). Currently, I am reading the KWEEN, Hillary Rodham Clinton’s book, What Happened, and I love it so much. I have some other great feminist reads lined up like Shrill, Hunger, and Lean In. I can’t wait to read them all. But I’ll probably space them out with chicklit in between. Gotta keep it light. It’s heavy enough just to open Twitter nowadays.

That brings me to my next point… why I like to read. I love stories. I like to tell them, I like to hear them, and I love to read them. They are an escape. I recently started reading Young Adult novels occasionally because they are a great escape. The subject matter is sometimes heavy, but they are quick, easy reads, and they are a good respite from heavier reads like the non-fiction I just wrote about. My absolute favorite YA book from last year is The Hate U Give, about a young girl whose best friend is killed by a police officer. Not a light topic. HIGHLY recommend. It was also the Goodreads 2017 Choice winner for both YA book and debut author.

Books also give you a chance to learn. Especially after finishing school, which took 3 years too long – thanks law school, I feel like books are the main way to learn something new. Whether it’s a word you never heard before, or something about a disease (sicklit!), or a chance to empathize with a character you never knew you could identify with, it is an opportunity to go outside of yourself. After three years of law school, reading mostly school books, cases, and case notes because I didn’t have time to read the full case, it is a breath of fresh air to get to choose the reading material. That is not to say, however, that I never read anything amazing in law school. One book comes to mind, Is There No Place on Earth for Me? by Susan Sheehan, Robert M. Coles. That book was assigned as part of a Mental Health and the Law class, about a teenager who became schizophrenic and spent 17 years in and out of mental institutions. It taught me about history, schizophrenia, New York deinstitutionalization, and about the emotions of a person with mental illness. I would recommend it to anyone.

People often ask me how I find books, or how I decide what to read next. Honestly, I read anything I find interesting. That may change from day to day. I use my mom as my personal librarian. She is an active member of four books clubs. If you think I read a lot, you should talk to her! She has been keeping a journal of her books, with reviews and ratings, for decades. We have similar taste in books, so she is always recommending books to me. I don’t use a paper journal (although I do keep my stats in my bullet journal), but every time she recommends something, I put it on my to-read shelf on Goodreads. More on that later this week. Speaking of Goodreads, that’s another way I find books. Also, social media and the good old New York Times best seller list. Something I am DYING to read is An American Marriage, about the toll a falsely accused husband’s incarceration takes on a young married couple, which debuted on the best seller list. It’s also an Oprah’s Book Club Selection (another way I pick books). I’m on the wait list at the library for it.

I use books for different purposes, and one of them is just to kill time. As I mentioned, I have very long subway rides. It’s the best time to read uninterrupted. Although it’s often interrupted. More on that later this week when I tell you about the challenges of reading in NYC! Stay tuned.

Do you have any favorite authors or books? Leave them in the comments, I’m always looking to add more to my shelves.

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Miscellaneous

Jury Duty

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The first of Jury Duty is: you complain about Jury Duty.

In an effort to not go against the rules, here we go: let me set the scene. It’s last Wednesday, the temperature in New York had been hovering at an inhuman 5 degrees Fahrenheit for a week already. The weatherman was warning us of certain death to come the next day. Ok, not certain death, but a BOMBOGENESIS. Now don’t get me wrong, I work for 1,700 rabbis and that term was CLEARLY biblical in origin, but I had never heard of it. All I knew was, it was cold AF and the meteorologists I follow on twitter (shoutout @jimcantore) were comparing it to a blizzard-hurricane combo. What in the literal f***.

I left work on Wednesday praying for a snow day… until I realized I wasn’t going to work the next day anyway. I had jury duty. My coworkers kept telling me that in this impending storm, the courts were sure to close. Call the night before, they said. If schools close, the courts will close, they said. They were wrong.

So the next morning, as all of my coworkers snuggled in bed in their PJs with hot coffee in mugs… I put on 4 layers of clothes and snow boots, and trudged through wind gusts and horizontal blowing snow down to Chinatown. Don’t get me wrong, I’d LOVE to serve on a jury. As an ex-attorney who has watched every episode of law and order 100 times and still has a pretty adamant hatred toward police, I can think of nothing I’d rather do more than explain to my fellow jurors what “innocent until proven guilty” and “beyond a reasonable doubt” means. I had dreams of 12 Angry Men, but with me as the holdout juror that convinces everyone else that a man was clearly innocent. I have incredible distrust for authority in general, and that extends even further against the police. In other words, there’s pretty much no way in hell I’d be picked for a criminal jury. I have “pre-emptive strike” written across my forehead in red permanent marker. However, this is what made my jury duty trip even more frustrating. I knew it was for naught! Maybe next time I’m called, I can just send them this blog as evidence and skip the blizzard-hurricane trek downtown. But even worse, I was selected for a jury in civil court. BO-RING.

But, I did it. I didn’t have a choice. I had a jury summons that said, “PREVIOUSLY ABSENT, MUST SERVE.” In red. You see, I had been called for jury duty before. Twice, in fact. The first time, I was going to be in London on the date of service, so I requested my automatic one-time adjournment. The second time I was summoned I was going to be in Costa Rica. But there’s no automatic second adjournment option, so I just didn’t show up. I know, I know, world’s smallest violin playing for me and my worldly travels. Point is, I had to go to the court house this time, bombogenesis or not.

I got down there and sure enough, there in the hallway were 100 other of my soon-to-be-closest-friends. We all complained together. It was a grand old time. Once we were let in the waiting room, there was a woman who told us all about jury duty. She is the equivalent of a “fluffer” in porn. Getting us all ready for the big show. Another simile: she was like the warm-up comedian before the live taping of The View; she got us HYPE for what was to come, and she thought way too highly of herself and her power trip. Maybe I should have used that second comparison first.

Anyway, this woman was obnoxious. She told us approximately 118 times that if we were unable to serve, we needed to go across the street and request an adjournment. Not too many people left. In hindsight, I am 90% sure this is because no one wanted to go outside, period. The bombogenesis was in full effect and I was monitoring the auto-text messaging from NY Courts as various court closings came through to my phone. New York City was never one of them. And then we sat.

And then we continued to sit. Jury duty is a lot of sitting. Thankfully I brought my kindle. But even better, jury duty is PRIME people watching. It would make a great case study. Over 100 people in a room, trapped and waiting, antsy and half asleep. The guy behind me started the snore. The woman next to me took out a Joel Osteen book. It was going to be a longggg day.

Soon enough, I made friends. This happens pretty much everywhere I go. There was a girl who was a nurse at NYU who was semi thankful to be in jury duty dong nothing versus in the ER dealing with bombogenesis fallout. And my friend Mrs. Joel Osteen was a nursery school aid/home business entrepreneur aka skincare pyramid scheme participant. Yes, she asked for my contact information. No, my skin has not improved.

After 4 hours of sitting and waiting, a state of emergency was declared for New York City. The volume of chatter increased as we discussed what that meant for our fates. Our warm-up comedian came out of her side office, and told us that there was only one judge in, and he didn’t need us. She told us we were getting credit for time served. (I know that’s the incarceration term, not the jury duty term, but same thing.) CHEERS erupted from the crowd. Some guy in the back wished our warm-up comedian’s grandson a happy birthday. She thanked him. I wondered how they got so close in 4 hours’ time.

I picked up my paper proving my service, quickly took a photo of it and uploaded it to the cloud so as never to lose credit for my time, and I sloshed my way back to the subway. In my four hours in the dungeons of civil court, a foot of snow had fallen. I finally arrived home around 3 pm, left to ponder all of those criminals I didn’t get a chance to save from jail. Maybe next time. In 7 years.

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Long Legs and other Personal Problems, Miscellaneous

Resolutions

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Christmas is behind us, which means New Year’s Day is upon us. And nothing says January 1st like a resolution that will fail by February 1st, amirite?? As a fitness instructor of 11 years, I can tell you for a fact that the gym is about to be PACKED for 3 shorts weeks. And then it will empty out again.

But to be perfectly honest, I don’t hate resolutions OR “resolutioners,” as I call the 3-week gym goers. I understand wanting to better yourself, and trying to set a benchmark and a starting point. You’ve all probably heard the phrase “diet starts on Monday!” Well a resolution is just a yearly “diet starts on Monday” with a more memorable date, because it’s literally the first day. I am generally pretty sarcastic about these people who make and fail at resolutions time and time again. But the reason I mock them is not because I think what they are doing is wrong, I just think they are using the wrong method. Also, TBH I love when the gym is full for a few weeks, it makes my Spin classes completely full and a lot more fun! But do I love showing people how to set up their bikes knowing that they will not get on one 48 weeks of the year? Not as much.

So in my very humble opinion, what is the right method, if I am so sure that this is the wrong method? The right way is to not set yourself up to fail. When I worked at lululemon, we did a lot of work in our orientation and training on goal-setting. I know, I know, so culty. I will post about my experience working there another time. Anyway, the goals of the employees are actually posted in the store on display for customers. It’s true, ask in any lululemon where they are, and they are happy to show you. What does this have to do with resolutions? Well for one, there is accountability. Your goals are literally on display! And secondly, they really do not want you to fail because then everyone will know. So they set you up to succeed. The four things they tell you before you brainstorm and write your goals are: make them concrete and measurable, start big, and then break it down to make the short-term ones attainable, make them positive, and begin making changes immediately. They also say to write them down and post them on the wall of your job. Maybe you don’t have to go that far, but it’s not a bad idea to write it down and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or on your desktop at work on a post-it. Anything to keep it in the forefront of your mind and keep yourself accountable.

My lululemon goals from 2015! I found them in my email. Most of them still stand. And I actually achieved (or am still working on) my 1 and 5 year ones!

I feel like it may come as a surprise to some of you that I am a fan of resolutions, but I am. I like to set goals for myself, and honestly, a resolution is just a positive goal to change your life for the better. Also, PLEASE remember guys, a resolution does NOT need to be body or health-related! And it shouldn’t be something you hate. This should go without saying, but people do it all the time. If you hated pizza, would you resolve to eat it? Ok, bad example everyone loves pizza… If you hated broccoli, should you resolve to eat it? NO. Eat another vegetable you like! If you hate running, do not resolve to run. It’s simple. And again, it does not need to be “eat healthy 5 days a week” or “work out more.” Plus, TBH, these should not be resolutions anyway. Eating to fuel your body, or working out to lower your cholesterol should just be things you want to do to live better and respect yourself. But I digress.

So what are my resolutions this year? I always make a few so I have a backup if I fail (LOL). This year I have one new one, and two rollovers from last year. I am writing them here to keep myself accountable:

  1. Plan myself less; have 1-2 FREE nights/week.
  2. Get back in the pool and start swimming again. At least twice a month, hopefully once/week.
  3. Do more weight training to become stronger. At least once/week, hopefully twice/week.

The first one is my top priority, but I already feel like I may fail, especially since I just found out I’m already double-booked for weddings on September 2, 2018! I am going to work really hard, though. I feel like every single night of my life is planned, and I never get a chance to relax. On July 17th I wrote a blog about how I did nothing that whole weekend. Not only was that a lie (read my blog to see why), but July 17th was the last time that happened.

The second and third ones are rollovers. I resolved to do them this year, too. I failed. So what? Don’t be embarrassed by failure, just try again! Maybe this next year I will do better because I’ll live closer to a gym where I like their classes. Or maybe I’ll buy a swim cap and goggles to get one step closer to achieving my goals. Maybe I’ll do that right now so I can start making moves to achieve my goals. And I love to swim! See, these resolutions do not need to be painful.

Some examples of super not painful resolutions, all of which have been resolutions of mine in the past few years:

I love to work out, but I was tired of everything I was doing. So this past year, my main resolution was to try new things and find something new that I really enjoyed. And I did! Art runs. More on that later this week.

I want to inspire you guys to make a resolution and try to stick to it. Maybe it’s as simple as “put the laundry away on the same night as you fold it,” or maybe it’s tougher like “run a half marathon by year end.” Either way, it always feels good to achieve something, even if it’s something fun. Start using those vacation days, even if they’re staycation days, and start doing nothing! Resolutions can be fun. 😊

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Miscellaneous

Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

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Stock up on your Halo Top ice cream pints and boxes of tissues, the self-loathing train is approaching with a vengeance. Tonight is the self-hate night of the year: the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Gone are the days of curvy Tyra Banks and NEVER are the days of human-looking women walking the catwalk, tonight is the night for unattainable body goals and 89 million dollar bras with so many diamonds they are sure to cut open your woman parts with one wrong sashay at the end of the runway.

Personally, I LOVE watching the show. In fact, I watch it ever year. I love to hate it. Maybe I just hate myself so deep down to my core that I force myself to watch how ugly I am compared to these fineee ladies, pushed in my face for an entire hour. Maybe I just like women walking in 6-inch high heels and 50-pound wings, waiting to watch them fall. (This never happens, it’s pre-recorded and you can only find the bloopers online). Maybe it’s because I can’t wait to see the musical guests, Leslie Odom Jr., Harry Styles, Miguel, Jane Zhang and Yundu Lu. Ok, it’s definitely not that because I only know one of those people. I really don’t know why I watch it, but it’s like a car accident and I am the worst rubbernecker of all time. I can’t help myself.

In these trying times, when the news every day is about yet another man abusing his power and treating yet another woman like a useless piece of chattel, there is no reason why I should enjoy yet another man (Ed Razek) in charge of throngs of underwear-clad ladies.

But again, I can’t talk too much sh*t because I f*cking love every second of it. Not only do I watch the show in its entirety (one of the only live TV events I watch all year long), but I also follow the news stories and events leading up to the show. As I mentioned before, the show is taped a week before it airs, so there is plenty of news and hype for weeks before the TV affair.

There were a few major pre-show news stories this year. The first was that since it was held in Shanghai for the first time, there were multiple people whose visas were denied, Katy Perry and Gigi Hadid being two of them. Katy Perry was banned for wearing a dress with sunflowers, and Gigi Hadid for apparently mocking Asian facial traits online. They are serious online stalkers over there in the visa office. I’m actually pretty impressed with their research techniques.

The second “major” news story was when Chrissy Tiegen tricked the internet into thinking she was going to walk in the show. The whole thing unfolded on her Instagram story, beginning with saying how she was nervous about the show, and then how she was getting in one last quick gym session. Then began her hilarious pleas that she was in Shanghai ready for her fitting but no one was answering her calls or emails. But then the best thing yet happened, she asked the twitterverse to photoshop her into a pic of all of the Angels. And the internet delivered in the best way possible. Times like those make me love the world wide web.

Anyway, the third and biggest story was that, yet again, the VS show will not have a single plus-size model. And by plus-size, I mean anyone over a size 6, maybe over a size 4. You know this is a problem because even Fox News is talking about it. This year, Ashley Graham, super famous plus-size model with 5.7 million Instagram followers, photoshopped a picture of herself with wings on, captioning it “Got my wings!” and the internet freaked out, thinking that perhaps VS had changed its ways. But no, no such luck. As Fashionista writes, it “seems so silly when you consider that the plus-size market here at home is growing at twice the rate of its straight size counterpart.” In fact, their main competitor, Aerie, is in the middle of a huge campaign to post photoshop-free ads by using the hashtag #AerieREAL. Victoria’s Secret’s only hashtag that comes even close to that is #TrainLikeAnAngel, which I think was meant to bring attention to physical fitness and healthy lifestyles. In my humble opinion, it just brought attention to the fact that VS Angels have 10 hours a day to work out, because it’s literally their jobs, as opposed to us “real people” who sit at desks watching their workouts on Instagram. Not exactly the same thing.

Again quoting Fashionista, and maybe I’m biased because the writer of the piece (Hey Tyler!) lived in my college dorm, “[Victoria Secret’s] entire marketing scheme is built upon tapping beautiful young women with millions of even younger, highly-impressionable followers. No one is asking Victoria’s Secret to give up its bevy of statuesque Angels — but perhaps it is time they consider widening their view of who is worthy to don their lingerie.”

And I agree. I think it’s time. I’d sure watch it! Then again, I watch it anyway.

In summary: Guys, I’m not sitting here telling you I’m not going to watch tonight. I’m going to watch the hell out of it. And I’m going to cry salty tears until my self-loathing turns my caramel chocolate Halo Top Ice Cream into salted caramel chocolate Halo Top Ice Cream. I’m going to live tweet the whole thing (Follow me on Twitter!). I’m going to talk about it all day tomorrow. And I’m going to swear that I will take up a new gym routine and #TrainLikeAnAngel for real. And then the next day I’ll give up because that’s what always happens, and I’ll make a new resolution on January 1 to train more, and hate myself less. And the vicious cycle continues.

But then I will remind myself that it is not my job to look like an Angel, it is my job to live the YOLO lifestyle like a regular 30-year-old millennial in New York, and to eat ramen every day because I don’t have a personal chef and that’s all my student loans payments will allow. And I’ll have to settle for that. See tonight on twitter, hopefully Adriana winks at me.

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Big City Living, Miscellaneous

Macy’s Parade Ultimate Viewing Guide

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I am quite possibly the most experienced Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade viewer that you will ever meet. I already told you about my long history with The Parade. As my Thanksgiving gift to you, I am sharing with you my ultimate guide of tips and tricks for watching the parade. I will do a separate guide for those in New York watching LIVE vs. people watching remotely. Although, let’s be honest, y’all should just come to NYC. It’s worth it.

LIVE VIEWING DO’s and DON’T’S:

  • DO attend the GREAT BALLOON BLOWUP the night before! It’s going on right now! 1-8 pm around the Natural History Museum.
  • DO dress in layers! This is self-explanatory. It’s cold AF and you’ll be standing still for a LONG time.
  • DO wear comfortable shoes. It’s a lot of hours. All standing.
  • DO go out drinking the night before. Then you’ll be dehydrated the next morning. Trust me, this will come in handy.
  • DO set 4 alarm clocks. Especially if you’re drinking the night before.
  • DO bring snacks. And breakfast. You’ll be hungry.
  • DO charge your phone and bring an extra charger. You’ll need it. Here’s why:
  • DO post incessantly on social media. Instagram and Snapchat needs to be jealous! Make sure the world knows that you live in the greatest city in the world and you only walked 10 blocks from your apartment to view the greatest parade on Earth.
  • DO tweet constantly @macys #MacysParade.
  • DO call all members of your family from the parade route so they are jealous. One year, my brother was in Israel and he called us from ISRAEL so he could feel like he was part of the action.
  • DO try and find any of your friends or relatives who are walking in the parade.
  • DO scream their names like a crazy person until they see you and wave.
  • DO still make sure you record the broadcast at home!! If you view the parade in person, you miss all the talent acts that take place in Herald Square. You will need to watch it in its entirety later! Also, you’ll want to see the commercials. More on that later.
  • DON’T be afraid to push people out of the way.
  • DON’T be intimidated by children. Feel free to tell those 3-year-old bastard children that now is not the time to be on your dad’s shoulders. There are 30-year-olds who wanna see Santa too!
  • DON’T drink coffee in the morning. Porta Potties. Need I say more?

AT-HOME VIEWING DO’s and DON’T’S:

  • DO wake up with enough time to brush your teeth. I’d normally allow 10 minutes before 9 am.
  • DO watch the entire thing. Show performances from 9-10 am. Rockettes somewhere in the middle. Santa at the end!
  • DO have a printout of the lineup with you so you can check off acts as they perform, and so you know what’s coming up.
  • DO watch Miracle on 34th Street directly after the end of the parade! We did this every year when we lived in Florida. It’s basically just an extension of the parade.
  • DO watch the 1947 version or the colorized version of it. This may belong in the DON’Ts section below, but don’t watch the 1994 version with Mara Wilson. Unless you’re watching both. Then it’s ok.
  • DO watch out for the special balloon this year commemorating the 70th anniversary of the movie!!
  • DO download the Macy’s app! They have amazing features you can use even from home! Like transforming yourself into a Macy’s Elf.
  • DON’T miss the beginning! You need to hear Amy Kule (the Executive Producer of the Parade) say “Let’s Have a Parade!”
  • DON’T fast-forward through the commercials! Many advertisers debut their best commercials of the holiday season during the Parade. There are always articles about how it’s a brand’s dream because everyone loves Thanksgiving. No conflicts of interest.
  • DON’T feel bad about tweeting constantly @macys #MacysParade even if you’re watching from home. Yes, I said this before. And I’ll say it again.
  • DON’T MISS SANTA! I already sorta said this above but, DUH.

And the most important:

DON’T MISS IT!!! According to the official website FAQ, “This once-a-year event is best watched live! Unfortunately, no reproductions of the broadcast are available for sale or distribution.”

Also, FYI, as much as I’d want to get proposed to during The Parade, it’s impossible. This is also covered in the FAQ. SEE YOU GUYS ON CENTRAL PARK WEST!!

SANTA! I KNOW HIM!!!!
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