mom life – LongLegsBigCity

Catskills Getaway

March 2, 2026 1 Comment

I did not write a blog about our Christmas trip to Atlanta because despite seeing family and having bonding time, it was… not great. Everyone was sick, Toddler A slept terribly, we were all very stressed and cranky, and then we had a 16-hour flight delay when we returned due to snow in NYC. 5 days later, when Chris wanted to plan our travel for 2026, I was VERY wary. I was in no mood to travel ever again, nonetheless soon. But sometimes you just have to trust your spouse and suck it up, so we planned five trips for the first half of the year.

I’m so glad I let myself be vetoed, because last weekend we had the best trip we have had with Toddler A, and it wouldn’t have happened if I was stubborn. I’ll do a recap/postmortem at the end of this post about why I thought it went so well, because I have been reflecting for a week on how to make it happen again.

You may remember our Babymoon/MaybeMoon at Chatwal Lodge in the Catskills, well, it was Chris’s idea to go back there with Amari. At first, I was hesitant because there isn’t much to do there. Even the things that there are to do, are not baby-friendly. But then I realized that when we’re at home, he doesn’t do much either and he thrives with large spaces to run. There’s nothing larger than empty fields and rooms!

The trip started as every outing with children starts: late. Thankfully we only had to drive, so there were no flight delays, but we were trying out a new car seat, and since we are New Yorkers, every car trip means a new rental I have never driven or installed a car seat in. I tried to figure it out for an hour, and then I gave up and we ended up using our old car seat. Eventually we got on the road, and there was about 45 minutes of unexpected traffic which turned a 2-hour drive into a 3-hour drive. That’s a big difference with a toddler. But Ms. Rachel got us through, and we arrived just in time for dinner.

One of the best parts about this place is the food. The resort/hotel only has 14 rooms, and it is all-inclusive for food and non-alcoholic drinks. The food is so fresh and so amazing. Chris says it is the best food he has ever had at any hotel or resort, and better than at least 90% of the restaurants in NYC. That is extremely high praise, and I agree. They also had a kid’s menu, which I wasn’t expecting, so we could put in chicken fingers immediately for Toddler A while we chowed down on the first 3 courses ourselves. Surprisingly, Toddler A enjoyed a lot of our adult menu food, too, especially the bread with garlic and herb butter, and the potato leek soup. The only downside of multiple courses was that by the time we were finished with appetizers and starters and bread courses, Toddler A was totally done and wanted to be let out of his highchair. We worked around this as best as we could, eating our main courses in shifts and never once ordering a dessert but that’s ok.

We didn’t really need dessert because they had an entire “cozy concierge” menu for the room, which included room service warm chocolate chip cookies and milk. You could also order a bath kit and a teddy bear, both of which we took advantage of later in the weekend. After dinner, they drove us to our room for a room tour, where our bags were already there waiting for us. They valeted our car and for the rest of the weekend we just texted them, and they picked us up from our cabin within 5 minutes of texting. Not only was the crib already set up, but our cookies and milk were already there!

We decided to move the crib into the bathroom because 1: the bathroom was HUGE, and 2: it had a door, which we found from experience is mandatory. If Toddler A can see us, he will not sleep. The bathroom set up worked pretty well, with the main obstacle of actually having to pee during the night. We eventually figured out a solution involving tip-toeing and hand sanitizer. Surprisingly, Toddler A only woke up once every night, and always before 11 pm so we all got great sleep.

Everyone loves garlic butter, even toddlers.

Saturday, our first full day, also happened to be Valentine’s Day and our engage-iversary. If you’ve been here a while, you’ll remember that we got engaged at Bubby’s the place we had our first date. I had brought Chris a few gifts from Bubby’s including a beanie and pancake mix. Toddler A enjoyed pulling off the wrapping paper. We headed up to the main lodge for breakfast, where Toddler A again surprised me by trying lots of the adult food including bacon and sausage along with his yogurt pouch and new love: blueberries. After breakfast, we went to the downstairs of the lounge where we played a rousing game of hide and seek. I don’t think he had ever seen an area that large with so many corners to hide. I may have been more out of breath than he was! My Oura ring tracked me a workout. Then, we found the game room where Toddler A promptly found the puzzle with the most number of small pieces (1000), and dumped it on the ground. Fun times.

When we thought he was tired enough, we went back to our cabin, and we planned to try to get him to nap. You know what they say about the best laid plans.

This was not ideal for the rest of the day’s activities, but we made it work. We watched Zootopia in bed, we ran around, we blew bubbles on the porch, we ordered in lunch to the cabin while we watched Ms. Rachel, and we read Going on a Bear Hunt approximately 800 times.

I thought he would love taking a bath in the huge bathtub, but I was wrong. We switched off taking showers (couldn’t do that at night since Toddler A was sleeping in the bathroom), and then it was time for our romantic Valentine’s Day Dinner.

(Narrator: it was not romantic at all).

The dinner… did not go as planned. Remember, Toddler A had no nap, so by 6:30 pm, things were devolving quickly. We made a gametime decision to quickly order him some French fries and chicken fingers, then we ordered the rest of our dinner to the cabin so we could let him yell and run around without interrupting the other happy (quieter) couples. That may have been the best decision we made all weekend. We had our leisurely, and frankly, probably more romantic dinner in our cabin and there was no need to chase a toddler or worry about his volume, speed, or safety. I didn’t mention that the main lodge had about 100 candles burning everywhere, but that was another concern.

We had another surprisingly great night of sleep, complete with more tiptoe bathroom trips, and then we were on our second (and last!) full day. After our second fantastic breakfast, we decided to spend time in the Recreation Center. Last time we went to Chatwal, Chris and I spent a good amount of time at the Rec Center. We played pool and bowled and I did crafts there. We also participated in the nightly bonfire and s’mores. This trip was a little different.

Our main Rec Center activities this time were running, hide and seek, going up and down the stairs, and of course more running. Toddler A also enjoyed Jumbo Connect 4, but I think that was just because it meant we lifted him every time to drop in a chip. After lots of energy was expended, we went back to our cabin for nap time. On day 2, we learned from day 1’s lessons, and we did not even attempt to put A in the crib. I just let him snooze away on the king size bed next to me while I read my Kindle. It was a much more restful day for us all.

Post nap time, we played with the 2 toys I brought, a ball, and bubbles. Since Toddler A is just learning how to kick, he absolutely loved the ball. Also, bubbles were a huge hit since we don’t have an outdoor space at home to use them. Both activities were a success, and before we knew it, it was time to have a light room service lunch, finish Zootopia, shower, and get ready for more Rec Center time before dinner. Our room had a MASSIVE shower that I believe was larger than my first room in Manhattan. It had a built-in bench, which came in handy since I mentioned Toddler A despised the bath. The shower also made for a fantastic “hiding” spot for hide and seek despite the glass door (we have realized the “hide” part of “hide and seek” means something different to a toddler). Night 3 dinner went slightly smoother, but we were basically full by the time the main courses came out, which worked out well because Toddler A was also over it.

Our final morning was fun and uneventful, we packed as best as we could, while Toddler A actively took items out of our bags as soon as we put them in. We had a slow breakfast while they pulled our car around from the valet and loaded our bags and then we headed home and made it back to the city by naptime.

I promised at the end of this blog I would recap why I think this trip went so well, and I will be brief:

Low expectations. After our last few trips, I just expected chaos and lack of sleep. I was pleasantly surprised!
No Airports. I know I have said this before, but airports are no place for toddlers. There are too many people, and toddlers do not like being strapped in when they could be running up and down the terminal. Also, the hour+ drive to the airport + security line + waiting at the gate, + sitting on your lap the whole flight, just no. Air travel is hard.
No other people. I know, I know, it’s nice to see family and friends. And I’m still a semi-extrovert. But when traveling with or to people, you need to take other schedules into account. When the only schedule you need to stick to is your toddler’s, things go far smoother.
Sleep. I think it goes without saying that all things are more enjoyable when you are rested. Our toddler woke up once each night we were away, and every night it was prior to 11 pm, so we had 11:30-7:30 blessedly quiet and alone. This made for all-around happier campers.
BYO Food. The place we went had all inclusive food. But you can never depend on a toddler eating new foods, so we brought our own. Having pouches and his favorite cheese on hand was helpful. It also meant I didn’t need to stress about whether he’d eat at mealtimes with us.
Screens are FINE. We allow screens in the afternoon at home, usually around 4:30-6:30, but we run around while it’s on, play hide and seek, climb things, run away and come back, etc. If we suddenly said, “NO MS. RACHEL” on our trip, we may have had a mutiny on our hands. So instead, we just used that time to shower and get ready for dinner. It was great, and we icky-sticky-bubble-gummed through an hour of the afternoon.

We had fun, we ran around a lot. We relaxed, and we would definitely do it again.

Rec Center open space to play. SO many books to pull off the shelves.

Miscellaneous, Mom Life

Chaotic Life Update – August 2025

August 7, 2025 1 Comment

I listen to a few podcasts and on one of them, the host occasionally does a “chaotic life update” when a lot has happened and she wants to catch everyone up.

Since I’ve only posted on the blog a few times this year, and the year is more than half over, I think we are overdue for some updates. Presented here in no particular order because chaos is the new name of the game.

We went on our first international trip as a family!

…on 3 days’ notice. Honestly, I think I deserve a medal like I won the Olympics because WHAT?! I still can’t believe I succeeded at this and did not forget anything. I placed 14 Amazon orders between Monday when we booked the flights, and Thursday when we left. That is not an exaggeration, that is a fact.

We also had to wait in a 2-hour line with an 11-month-old when we got to the airport because my ticket was booked under my maiden name, but my passport has my married name. By the time we boarded the plane, I was already out of all of my tricks I got on TikTok for entertaining a small child while traveling.

I won’t go into the full details of the flight, but let’s just say it was a CHALLENGE. The flight attendants were on their worst behavior, and they were scolding passengers the whole time and even handing out yellow tickets to parents of misbehaving kids. They had security meet some of the parents at the gate in Mexico! Thankfully I was not the recipient of a yellow ticket, despite A’s choice timing of a major poo blowout that we had to change on the seat next to us, after being instructed absolutely no passengers were allowed in the aisle. Sigh.

Anyway, the trip was so fun, all of Chris’s siblings were there, A got to swim in a big pool and the ocean for the very first time, and he absolutely adored the never-ending food. Especially the French fries. He’s clearly his mother’s son.

Related… we got him his first passport!

…that arrived with his incorrect birth date. MAJOR eye roll. Why do they require the original copy of a birth certificate if they are not cross checking it?? If there’s something I just love doing, it’s paperwork. Can you sense the sarcasm? Anyway, after more paperwork and an additional trip to the post office, we eventually got it corrected.

I’ve officially been an employee at my organization for 11 years *mind blown emoji*

This is pretty much exactly what I would recommend people not do if they want to advance their careers. That said, I have had three different roles at this organization, AND I had my student loans forgiven last summer! I was in the thick of postpartum so I never wrote a blog about it, but it happened! I am officially debt-free. I don’t need to think about the horrible mistake I made going to law school, and thankfully I didn’t have a heart attack taking the Bar Exam.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on how much has changed since I started this job. It’s hard to look at 11 years and NOT think about what has transpired since I began.

I have gone from single to dating. Dating to engaged. Resident of NYC. COVID. 6-month temporary resident of Texas. Brown hair to purple hair to blonde hair to brown hair. Engaged to married. Pregnant. Mother of a dead child. Pregnant. Mother of an alive child (and still a dead one). It’s been a lot. And I’m still working with the same rabbis! And after all of these years, I’m still completely nonreligious.

Speaking of alive children…

Baby A turned 1!!

I guess he has to be Toddler A now, technically. How did that happen?? Time flies when you are in a hormone and sleep-deprived haze.

We had a huge party for him at a brewery, and no matter the judgement I received for the choice of venue, it was definitely the right decision! A had a blast crawling and pulling himself around the floor, and he definitely loved the BYO food policy because he was able to eat cheese to his heart’s content.

The theme was PIZZA and I made him a bespoke pizza crown, as well as matching shirts for all of us. Who knew that having a kid would mean that I could flex my DIY Halloween costume muscles multiple times/year now!? Speaking of… I better start thinking about Halloween.

I’ve gone to see 4 Broadway Shows this year!

Actually, I’ve seen 4 on Broadway and 1 off! I started the year strong with Oh Mary AND Suffs in January, and then I saw Buena Vista Social Club for my birthday with Chris, and I saw The Great Gatsby last week. Also, I saw the Friends Parody Musical, which was off Broadway and hysterical. I have been trying to balance my life more, carving out time for myself. Also, now that A barely wakes up at night, I feel more comfortable coming home after 9 pm because there’s a good possibility I will still get sleep. Chris and I have worked out a schedule that seems to be good for both of us, but hopefully soon we will also leave the house together more often. Fingers crossed. Speaking of carving out time for myself…

I am trying to get back into a gym routine.

I am actually a member of three gyms now, and I am proud that last month I had two personal milestones: swimming a mile for the first time since BEFORE Covid and running the entire 28 minute block in Orangetheory without any breaks to walk. I am trying to get back to feeling as strong as I did before I had A. After Maliyah, I threw myself into the gym and felt stronger than ever (physically). Now that I am strong mentally, I’m working on the physical part.

I weaned off of Zoloft. And therapy.

I both started and stopped Zoloft in the past year. I can’t say for sure if it helped, but I always said that I would start it, knowing that if I wanted to get off, I would just get off, and that’s what I did. Am I still anxious? Yes. Especially around big events like leading up to A’s birthday, but I like to think I can still function well through the anxiety and that is the main goal.

As for therapy, weaning off wasn’t difficult, but I think that’s because I did not have a good match for a therapist. I found myself wishing every week that I could use that hour for the gym instead, and so I decided to do just that. I’m not saying that working out is a substitute for therapy, but if you only have time for one, and the therapist isn’t the right fit, then you have to choose.

I am really back on the braiding wagon!

I have eight (8!!!) clients this month for festivals. Yikes! I also have five clients who have already signed up for hair for the NYC Marathon.

Related, I built a scheduler into my website for hair appointments for the marathon. I was so proud of myself for figuring it all out: the set up, the logos, the photo uploads, the calendar syncing, the bank account linking… everything! It looks great and I am proud of it! I am really hoping it cuts down on the back-and-forth admin time. Now with a small child, I have even less time to email to set up times and deposits, so I think this streamlined system will help a lot!

There are many things I could keep updating on, but I hope to be back to long form blogs soon so I can deep dive. Do you have any questions for me? Mom life, parenting after loss, NYC living, working mom balance, hair, professional, let me know in the comments 😊

Was he crying or screaming in excitement? No one knows.

Mom Life

3-Day-Weekends With Kids – A Double Bind Experiment

June 2, 2025 2 Comments

(written last week… with no time to post it)

Hello, it is Wednesday after a 3-day weekend and I am still not recovered. Every time our nanny has a day off, I just think… we do not pay her enough.

As I said in the title of this post, weekends with living kids are an absolute double bind. According to ChatGPT, a double bind is “a communication dilemma where an individual receives two or more conflicting messages, making it impossible to satisfy both demands at once. No matter how the person responds, they are punished, creating a no-win situation that often leads to anxiety and emotional distress.”

In this case, the “communication,” is communication from myself, to myself. AKA my thoughts.

Thought #1: 3 days is a VERY long time to spend ALONE with a child who doesn’t really play alone, doesn’t talk, doesn’t eat without help, and yet, wants to move around constantly and climb on you, and cover you in spit, barf, poop, bite marks and scratches.

Thought #2: Spending time with others means leaving the house and making plans. Plans are exhausting. Pre-planning the plans is even more exhausting. Wrangling an EXTREMELY active child in an environment I am not familiar with, and an environment that is likely not childproofed is even more exhausting.

Both of these situations definitely lead to anxiety and emotional distress.

Last weekend, I chose to carry out thought #2 and we had plans. 3 days, 3 different plans.

Day 1

Day 1 was hanging out with friends in a park. Easy, right? Wrong.

My pre-plan planning thoughts: When should we go to the park? Before the first nap at an ungodly hour in the morning? Or after the first nap, which is at an unpredictable time. Then I will need to text and keep our friends abreast of our timing, when I can never find my phone. And then, when he wakes up do I feed him before we leave? He will probably eat the pizza with us at the park, but I also don’t want to deal with a melt down on the way if he’s hungry. Also, the park is far. It requires an Uber. An Uber means a car seat. He hatesss being strapped in a car seat. I will need toys as a distraction. And a distance from home means a diaper bag. Who is going to pack the diaper bag? Me, of course. I could bring 0 snacks because we just fed him lunch AND there is going to be pizza there, but what if he is hungry? I will pack snacks. But what if he doesn’t like THOSE snacks? I will bring alternatives. If he’s going to eat, we DEFINITELY need wet wipes. And it’s hot, I should bring him water. He doesn’t usually like formula unless he’s going to nap, but what if he will nap in the car on the way home? Ok, I’ll bring formula. It’s cloudy but what if it gets sunny? I’ll bring a hat and sunscreen. And what about diapers? I need diapers and diaper paraphernalia for just-in-case blowouts and an outfit change.

All of that was before we even left for the plans.

Then we got to the plans, and I had to deal with pizza dropping on the ground and his obsession with the birds who tried to get the pizza off the ground, not to mention he himself, who was trying to pick up and then eat the pizza on the ground, which was, of course, far more appetizing than the pizza on the table. Also, the ant hills on the grass that I tried to steer his never-ending-crawling away from.

Needless to say, by the time we got home, I was 99% sure I was more tired than him. And it was only Day 1.

Day 2

Day 2 we had a wedding/50-year vow renewal for very close family friends. It was in Manhattan. That’s where we live! Easy, right? Wrong.

The wedding was at 11 am, also known as, right in the middle of nap #1. This meant no nap for A. This meant parental Olympics in the form of mama-distraction so he didn’t remember he was tired for hours. But first, mama needed to look presentable for a wedding where she would definitely see a colleague because it was at a synagogue. So, I put A in baby jail while I blow dried my hair and did my makeup, and he whined and cried at me and reached his arm out to me like he was indeed on Rikers Island, not 5 feet away from me, in a play pen full of toys.

After I got myself ready, I had to get him ready. Have you ever tried to fasten a shirt with 7 buttons on a tiger? Because that’s what it’s like putting a wedding outfit on a 10-month-old. I did one button then he somehow twisted himself onto the floor and crawled 3 feet away until I captured him in a body lock to do the next one while he screamed. Repeat 6 more times. And don’t get me started on the socks and shoes. Tying shoelaces on a child who doesn’t understand their foot movement control, or the fact that direct contact with their mother’s nose is not ideal, is a form of torture.

Once we arrived at the venue, as I mentioned, the boy could not sit still. For one full hour I tried everything I could to get him to not yell during the service. I sat down next to him, I had him sit on my lap. I gave him toys. I gave him a bottle. I stood up and held him. I brought him to the back of the sanctuary and let him crawl around while I chased him. I bounced him on my hip. I “shhhh”ed him (even though I don’t think he knows what that means). It was a Herculean feat, but he didn’t scream a single time and eventually, the service was over (it was beautiful from what I could concentrate on). Then came the brunch. Let’s just say… a lot of time was spent on the floor.

Baby Jail with that tiny hand reaching out to me from his cell

Day 3

Day 3 we technically only had one plan in the afternoon, and it was at my sister’s house. Very chill, very low key. Easy, right? Wrong.

Baby A decided to wake up at 6:45 am, so we had a longgg morning to fill. Since it was Fleet Week in NYC, I had a dream to find a group of sailors and take a photo of baby A with them. Sure, my brother is in the Navy and I could have just taken him to my brother’s work but this seemed much more NYC, much more Sex And the City. Except, like, everything that made Sex and the City, Sex and the City.

The place I knew sailors would congregate was the west side along the Hudson where all of the ships docked. We took the stroller down and sure enough, sailors were everywhere! We stared at the Intrepid for a while, lots of strangers talked to us, and then we came across a big group of sailors. I planned to just wheel baby A into the middle and take a candid, but the top-ranking guy forced them all to look at the camera. What an adventure! And we were home by 8:30. In the morning.

After morning nap, we had to get ready for the Memorial Day BBQ at my sister’s. This, of course, required all of the thought from the previous days. Diaper bag packing, snack necessity, outfit wrangling, etc. But this time, I also had to bring the small stroller that has no storage, because we were going to need to go up 10 stairs and fit in a small apartment.

We were on our way, walking, when it was clearly too warm for him. I decided to change plans and go on a bus, although I had never been on a bus with him in the stroller. Thank god for nice old ladies who helped me maneuver the handicapped seats. We finally arrived, maneuvered up the stairs, and the next set of obstacles presented themselves.

The apartment had toys, but of course he is too small to do anything but put them in his mouth, which he did thoroughly enjoy. He also crawled all over the floor where everyone was wearing their NYC shoes, and he licked the floor over and over again. Then he crawled everywhere, to the glass bowls, the very not-child-proofed kitchen area, and I was always 1 step behind him. There was another mom there with a baby 6 weeks younger, and he just sat in the carrier on her the entire time. Didn’t make a sound, didn’t fuss, perfectly content. Not my child! He was on the go, making friends with everyone, eating everything, cucumbers, hummus, brownies, you name it.

Almost everyone at the BBQ had kids, and I asked a fellow mom about it. She said, “who else is stuck in NYC on Memorial Day Weekend with no plans? The ones who it isn’t worth it to make plans and travel, the ones with kids.” True, but also, plans are TIRING!!! Baby A made it 10 blocks home until the meltdown began, and he cried the next 15 blocks straight until we made it home for a nap.

The next morning when our nanny came, she asked how our weekend was. I said, “I’m very happy to see you.”

This weekend, we have 0 plans and I could not be more excited about it.