The Last Wedding of 2017
Home free for the year! The Last Wedding of 2017 is over, and I think we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief that I don’t need to find another “formal but not black tie” dress to wear. Oh, just me? Ok fine, I’m relieved. Don’t get me wrong, I had one of my most fun nights of the year last Saturday, but I am happy to be finished with travel. JK I am actually writing this from 34,951 feet, according to the television screen in front of me. Anyway, more on this next trip another time, but at least I am done with wedding travel.
I have a trouble saying no. Perhaps this is why I have been to so many weddings. But this last one, I had to say yes, because I knew both the bride and groom, it was the FIRST of my New York friends to get married, and most importantly, it was local. As in, it was in the tri-state area. As in, I did not need to get on an airplane to get there. I did, however, need to figure out how to get to Point Pleasant, NJ, which proved more difficult than I originally thought. There was a lot of NJ Transit time tables and googling to be done, and Uber-estimates to be made, and logistical text messages to be sent. We decided to take a train to Long Branch, and then split a 40-minute Uber with another friend who met us on the train in Newark.
When I first received the wedding invitation, I booked a hotel room, but ultimately, I decided that spending money on a hotel for a “local” wedding would defeat the purpose. We planned to take the last train home at 11:38 pm, which was set to arrive back in New York City at 2:07 am. WOOF.
Who it “we?” Well, of course it’s emoji-bf and me! It’s a real shame that his face turned out yellow in all of the photos, he looked absolutely smashing! We rocked that photobooth.
And did I mention that I created the hashtag?! #NoFomoForComo. I’m a poet and I know it. (Remember when I wrote a whole poem for the Pub Crawl?)
The wedding was held at Clark’s Landing Yacht Club, which is a stunning venue. Luckily, we got there just as the sun was setting so I got to enjoy the marina views and snagged a few photos of the bride and groom, while the bride was changing into her sneakers after their photographer was done, and she was scurrying inside because it was 28 degrees and she was wearing a strapless gown. Hopefully they can photoshop out goosebumps.
The ceremony was short and sweet. My friend I rendez-vous-ed with on the train had only ever been to Indian weddings before, and he was FLOORED by how quick the ceremony was at a “white person wedding.” His words, not mine. From the procession to the kiss, it was 20 minutes. I loved the bridesmaids’ dresses, which is incredibly rare. All other brides-to-be… take note: they were navy, lace, knee-length, flattering, and could totally be worn again.
I know this may sound incredibly sappy and so un-longlegsbigcity, but the sweetest part of the wedding was watching the bride and groom kiss! They had been together for 11 years by Saturday, and they were already dating for 8 years when I met them, playing NYC Social Volleyball. I played an entire season with them before I knew they were in a relationship. I don’t say this in a bad way; they are so comfortable with each other, and they clearly are best friends, but I had no idea they were a romantic item! I later, obviously, learned this. Anyway, Saturday was extra special because I got to see them dancing together and acting like an adorable newlywed couple. Also, although there were upwards of 200 guests, they seemed to be having a BLAST. They were both on the dance floor the entire time, partying with the guests, instead of the typical meet-n-greet, boring, table-pictures mingling. It was a true celebration.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the cocktail-hour-to-end-all-cocktail-hours. This thing was IMPRESSIVE. I entered the hall to find a sushi chef fresh rolling sushi, with an accompanying 6 different kinds of sake. There was a guy specifically stationed to explain the sake and serve it with your sushi. Then I turned to the left and I saw an ice sculpture with the couple’s names on it, and an ice luge inside it specifically for martinis. It was like the super classy version of a beer bong. There were tables all around the room, on multiple tiers, with themed food stations. There was a pizza station, a middle eastern station (fresh shawarma, hummus, babaghanoush, olives), a wine and cheese station (more than 20 bottles of wine), a mashed potato bar (5 different kinds of potatoes, innumerable toppings), steak carving station, sausage carving station (6 different kinds), seafood station (two kinds of calarmari, oysters, shrimp) etc. It took all of the restraint I had in my body to remind myself to stop eating because A. there was still going to be dinner, B. I did not want to vomit on the dance floor and (most importantly?) C. I’d never get drunk if I had too much food in my stomach!
I know what you’re wondering – did I manage to stick to all of my “top tips for professional wedding guest success?” YES! Well, mostly.
- Never agree to be a bridesmaid: CHECK! I wasn’t asked. But still.
- Find the open bar ASAP. HELLO?! Obvi.
- Learn the bartender’s name: Hell yes. Dok, emoji-bf was lucky he was there to chaperone me because you had my heart at “Moscow Mule.”
- 2 drinks on the table before toasts: As soon as I saw those copper mugs, I had a Moscow mule in each hand for the rest of the reception.
- Photobooth? Hell yes. So many props!
- Selfies? Duh.
- Flip Flops? No, because it was 28 degrees, but I did bring sneakers! They are featured in many of my photobooth pics.
- Borrow a dress: No, but I did get mine at TJ Maxx! $39.99 baby.
- Registry Gift or cash: The registry didn’t have much left but that is because I didn’t have my sh*t together until the last minute. Cash worked.
Overall, the Last Wedding of 2017 was a smashing success. They gave us zeppole as we left, so I had a snack while we waited for the train back to New York. And you will all be happy to hear that the morning of the wedding, I received an email with Save the Date and wedding website information for a wedding in August of 2018! No one else better get engaged this holiday season. And if they do, whose dress am I borrowing??
Washington, D.C.
Strap in, this post is a doozy. Last weekend I traveled to Virginia for my cousin’s wedding, and I had a jam-packed 3 days in the Greater Washington D.C. area. I promise to travel to further and more interesting places soon, but for now, this will have to do for the blog.
I arrived on Thursday night, and luckily, my brother, a new DC resident, picked me up from the train station. Unluckily, he was pulled over by the cops on the way, who said that it was illegal to drive through a yellow light. What?! Isn’t that what yellows are for? Anyway, a bit delayed, we changed and went to dinner with his Home Plate Family. What is Home Plate? It’s basically the coolest invention ever, founded and run by the WashU Chancellor’s wife, Risa Zwerling Wrighton. If out of town students at WashU miss home-cooked meals and dinnertime, they can sign up for this program and get matched with a family. My brother’s “family” was even featured on the WashU website 5 years ago! Since my brother was a WashU student for 7 years (8 if you include the gap year), he basically grew up with his “family.” Therefore, we all grew up with them! I have been hearing about my brother’s second mom for almost a decade. He has been attending all of the kids’ recitals, ceremonies, and graduations for years and his “mom” is my favorite part of our family group texts! Anyway, we had a delicious dinner at Lavagna, where I heard about their time at the Newseum, which I absolutely must go to the next time I’m in DC.
After dinner, I met up with a friend from middle/high school, who I hadn’t seen in 3 years. We had a drink and talked for a while, until we realized it was getting late and now we are real adults with jobs and it was a work night. LAME.
The next morning, my brother and his gf and I woke up and went to my brother’s favorite bagel place, Bullfrog Bagels. It was ok, but nothing compared to NYC bagels (don’t tell him I said that). I’m spoiled. After barely digesting, we drove out to Arlington to work out at Orangetheory Fitness with my best friend from college. She is the head trainer for the region, and she definitely gave us a workout! My brother and I wore heartrate monitors so we could compete with each other on the screens. More about the actual workout later, I’ll do a full review. Suffice it to say, we left completely drenched in sweat, and she played one of my fav weekend ramp-up songs, Hello Friday by Jason Derulo and Flo Rida. I promptly added it to all of my playlists (FOLLOW ME ON SPOTIFY!). We took about 100 pictures , some below, some saved for my OTF blog review, then we went home to shower. The afternoon was STEAMY hot. We ate Ethiopian food, then had a few sake bombs to stave off heat exhaustion, as one does. The boomerangs were pretty epic.
We finished packing and headed to the suburb of Reston, VA, where the rest of the wedding weekend popped off. Something to know about my family: we don’t see each other often, but when we do, we have a BLAST! We started Beth and Kenny’s wedding weekend with hors d’ouvres and drinks at American Tap Room, which conveniently was a 3 minute walk from the hotel #DrinksOnDrinksOnDrinks. My uncle put together a slideshow and I had three cameos in it (#winning). I only cried three times. Ok, maybe four. I’m such a sucker for a slideshow! I got to mingle with all of my family, meet some of Kenny’s family for the first time (shoutout to my dance partner Shawna!) and better yet, I got to introduce my mom to the Moscow Mule. Her life is forever changed. We went to Thai food after, because duh, never enough food, and then we went back to the hotel.
Meanwhile, my favorite emoji-bf STILL had not arrived! When I got back to the hotel, I found out his flight had been delayed 4 times, then canceled, after he had already been on the plane for an hour! Ultimately, he made it to the hotel by 7 am the next day, without his bag. He took a 3 am Amtrak and managed to piece together a wedding outfit from a tux shirt, a blazer he keeps in his office, and some too-tight slacks (photos below). Don’t worry, we are currently in negotiations for some compensation from Delta. Putting my ESQ. to good use.
Since the bf had barely arrived by the time we were supposed to leave for our Segway tour, I subbed in my brother’s girlfriend for the tour, instead. We had some epic Metro issues; I guess NYC isn’t alone in their #publictransitproblems. But the good news is, we made a new friend on the Metro who we shared an Uber with. Renee, are you out there somewhere? I should have gotten your contact info! Anyway, we embarked on my longest Segway Tour to date, by Bike and Roll DC. We got a Groupon (major tip here for Segway tours), and it was so much fun! Our tour guide Jen was so awesome, I made sure to write a review on Groupon and Trip Advisor. Also, it came with free popsicles and water. We rolled around DC for 2.5 hours with a family from Copenhagen, learning awesome little-known facts and taking a million photos. Did you know, legend has it that the 50 US flags around the Washington Monument were originally supposed to be state flags but the states couldn’t agree on which would be closest to the White House so they are all US flags instead? Did you know that Truman barely got to live in the White House because when he tried to move in, his piano broke through the rotting floor boards? He had to move out while they gutted the whole thing. Some say they approved the plans to add the Truman Balcony (now one of the most-noticeable things on the facade) to commemorate him and make up for the fact that he could barely live there.
After the awesome Segway tour, we headed back to the hotel for a quick dip in the pool, then got ready for the wedding! We took the shuttle bus to the Stone Tower Winery, which was even prettier than the photos. Really, the pictures do not do it justice. And the sunset… woah. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I was scared it would be blazing hot (outside wedding in July? NO THANKS), but it wasn’t as bad as I had feared. There was a nice breeze, they had a table with lemon-infused water and champagne to the side of the ceremony, and instead of classic programs, they had the information printed on little fans. Very cute touch.
My cousin looked absolutely amazing, not that I’m biased or anything 😉 She was walked down the aisle by her mom and dad, which I always find sweet. They asked for no phones out during the ceremony, so no photos of that. Also, they wrote their own vows, which is so much more personal. I was listening intently since I was a rule-follower and had put away my phone. I only cried two more times. Okay, three. The officiant was actually their backup officiant, after a particularly gruesome kickball accident, and he totally killed it. Short, sweet, funny, and he could pronounce both of their names! (Trust, me that is not always the case). Both bride and groom added One Direction lyrics to their vows, which was hilarious and amazing and unplanned. They each broke individual glasses, which was a new tradition I had not seen before, but I liked the concept of not just having the guy do it.
The reception was so much fun. The dance floor was poppin’ (extra shoutout to my 88-year-old grandmother who never left the dance floor), there were glow sticks, there was an open bar, and an outdoor patio if you needed a break from the music. The hora was fun, minus a minor chandelier-tiara-head incident, and the toasts were hilarious. I got to sit with my cousins and next to my aunt and uncle. The craziest thing that happened all night: someone from the same floor of my college dorm, freshman year, 12 years ago, recognized me! She is married to a friend of the groom. Craziest small world ever. Things like that do not happen when you go to a school with over 50,000 students. It was so great to see you, Anna!
The real star of the reception was the fire pit and the DIY s’mores. With Reese’s cups! WHAT!? It was amazing. My emoji-bf informed me that since he was an Eagle Scout, I need not show him how to roast a marshmallow. Excusez-moi. We had a sparkler sendoff for the bride and groom, which was a super fun ending to a great night.
Lessons Learned:
- I have too many friends in DC and I need to visit more often (next time Brittany/Davon/Tahon/Kristina!)
- Orangetheory will leave me sore for days (ok, already knew that).
- Segways are amazing (I knew that too).
- I really like my brother’s gf (don’t screw this up, bro!)
- I need to get together with my extended family more often.
- Weddings in July are not always as hot as you’d fear, with enough champagne.
- The Gator Nation is Everywhere!
- I need to write shorter blog posts.
