Travel

Park City, Utah

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Hello! My name is Elder LongLegsBigCity. And I would like to share with you the most amazing book…

JK, I did not turn into a Mormon missionary, but I did spend nearly 6 days in the beautiful state of Utah with 13 of my bf’s friends. I went on hikes, did innumerable flights of stairs at nearly 9,000 feet, took photos with multiple posters boasting puns about polygamy, and stayed in a 5-story home with a panoramic view of multiple ski slopes. Just look at the banner photo. Talk about #LifeElevated.

The emoji bf and I tend to have horrific travel luck, but the Mormon All-American prophet looked down upon us and blessed our journey and we departed NYC EARLY!! Unheard of. We arrived in Salt Lake City late on Wednesday night, met up with one of his friends, and took an uber to Park City. One of my bf’s friend’s family owns a house that they usually rent out, but lucky for us, it was vacant for (an extended) Labor Day Weekend. I got the grand tour when we arrived, and I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or the elevation, but I actually got lost. There were 5 stories in this place! 6 bedrooms, 2 decks/patios, a shuffleboard table, a hot tub… I was floored. We arrived after midnight and the party had clearly already been going on for a while, but I skipped the drinks for the night and went straight to bed. When I woke up, I had a sleeping beauty moment when I saw on my phone it was noon. I thought I had woken up from a minor coma! Thankfully, my phone just hadn’t synced with the new time zone and it was only 10 am.

I sat on the balcony taking in the amazing view as I waited to meet up with my friend from middle school/high school/ college/NYC. She happens to live in Utah now, and she has an ADORABLE baby who I had never met yet. Luckily for me, she liked me enough to drive out to Park City with her husband and daughter to hang out. We spent the day eating amazing fried food, window shopping, and exploring the “downtown” area of Park City. Oh, and of course taking many many photos. We even saw a Banksy original! You think maybe my emoji bf is responsible???

The girl whose parents own the mansion where we were staying also have their own permanent residence in Park City in a neighborhood called the Promontory Club. Legend has it that the developer for the neighborhood went bankrupt in the middle of building, and when they same developer bought the land back (in foreclosure), he had so much extra money that he built these amazing amenities for the neighborhood to use. We decided to take full advantage of them. After a busy day in town, we went to the bougie AF clubhouse (“The Shed”), where they had an indoor bball/vball court, jump ropes, pinball, foosball, pool tables, and of course, bowling lanes. After working up an appetite, we ordered food and ate it outside as they turned on the gas fire pit that lined the patio. I didn’t quite break 90 in bowling… I probably didn’t deserve the pizza. Once the temperature dropped, we went back to the house and drank some more wine in the hot tub.

For some reason (time change?) I woke up early the next morning. A few of us took a trip down Shorty’s Stairs (actually, I did them 4 times trying to work off the booze from the prior night, this became a tradition), and we found this place called Little Donuts. The owner is a Michigan fan, which I will only forgive because these donuts were phenomenal. Fresh AND you could watch him hand dip and decorate each one made-to-order. They had a maple bacon one. I mean, come on. Clearly the 500 stairs/day were not going to be enough. After eating too many donuts, we put on swimsuits (thankfully I brought my one-piece) and headed back to Promontory, this time to “The Beachhouse.” There were 14 of us, and thanks to some A+ planning, we had rented a cabana, which we had all to ourselves with cookies, cheese, crackers and fruit. The best part was, the cabana was situated basically in the man-made lake, so as we took advantage of the free watersports, we could paddleboard/kayak etc. right up to our group of friends! We played some frisbee in the pool and soaked in the high-elevation rays before heading back to our mansion. After pregaming a little TOO hard, we walked down Shorty’s stairs to a tapas restaurant called Bodega 718/ We had picked up coupons for the restaurant earlier in the day, but (due to the heavy pregaming) we forgot them at the house. I offered to walk back to get them, which would also, hopefully, help me walk off the pregame overboard. On my way, I found an owl. I know what you’re thinking, I was hallucinating it. TBH, I thought I was, too! I walked right past it! But then I backpedaled and I was like, “nope, that is a f*cking huge owl.” His name was Hoot, and his handler informed me that he was, in fact a FAMOUS owl. He had a movie book full of photos of Hoot with the likes of Adam Sandler and Robin Williams (RIP). I am not an animal lover, but I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to take a photo with Hoot #DoItForTheInsta.

After my owl photoshoot, I got the coupons, went back to dinner, and proceeded to fight with my bf. I mean, what’s a vacation with your significant other without a fight, AMIRITE? Anyway, as I have already stated 20 times, I had too much to drink and it was a good time for me to go home anyway. I walked back to the house, got a cider out of the fridge, and read my kindle in the hot tub. Arguably one my favorite parts of the trip (minus the fight).

The next morning, I woke up early again. Wtf? Anyway, it allowed me some time to sweat out the booze again, and tackle Shorty’s stairs 8 times. Almost 1,000 stairs. Unfortunately, I did not know that this was the day we were going to hike. But hike, we did. At almost 10,000 feet. Luckily, the trail itself was not too challenging, and the views were totally worth it. I even hopped in the lake at one point, which was freezing since it is formed by snow run-off from the mountains. It was worth the adventure, and it was the one time we got a group shot of all 14 of us. On our way back up, we ran into a group of students from University of Utah (“Utes”), who were using a not-so-sturdy rope swing to jump into the not-so-deep lake. One of the guys said he hit his head on the rock. Then he tried to get us to try it. I decided that Saturday, Sept. 2, 2017 was not the day I wanted to die, so I passed.

We got home, showered, watched some football, and just as I was sure UF was going to lose (SIGH), we went to the girls whose family owns the house’s parents’ house (that’s a mouthful) for a BBQ. Since they also own the 5-story mansion we were staying in, I figured their full-time house may be more modest, but I was wrong. The place was GORGEOUS. It had a wrap-around deck where we could see the perfect sunset, a wine cellar, a “drive-through shower” (NEED this in my future house) and a firepit. We drank wine and Moscow mules, ate amazing burgers and brats, and then finished the night with more wine by the fire, while Amazon Alexa serenaded us. Oh, AND we made s’mores. Does it get more perfect than that!? When I was a kid, I didn’t think it got better than s’mores. But then I realized you can have them with a side of wine. SCORE.

The next day was low key because we were tired, and because it was HOT! It wasn’t humid, but being 10,000 feet closer to the sun makes for some high temps. We went into town for the weekly summer street fair called Park Silly. We didn’t last long there thanks to the temps, but we did find our way back to Wasatch brewery where they had $2 bloody marys. Somehow I only had one. Maybe I was tapped out for booze. Or maybe I felt guilty because it was Sunday and it was Utah. Or maybe it’s because it just tasted like tomato juice thanks to Utah’s liquor laws requiring no drink to have more than 1.5 ounces of booze in it. Anyway, eventually we went back to the house where we watched the new Baywatch. Incredibly underrated, if you ask me. The Rock AND Zac Efron? I mean, clearly 5-star-worthy.

Our last real night in Utah, we went as a group to Butcher’s Chop House, where we miraculously got a last-minute reservation for 13 people. The meal was great, and was made better by a BOGO deal on entrees. I can’t resist a good deal. I can, however, resist taking photos of food. I hate people who do that sh*t. So no photos. I got to know the restaurant well, since my bf forgot his phone AND wallet, so we went back twice. Once for the phone and wallet, once for the ID, which I had luckily reminded him specifically to check for since we were flying the next day. Another charming thing about Utah: they card everyone under the age of DEAD. So your ID is oftentimes out of your wallet. Once we had the ID, we stopped at No Name Saloon for a drink on the way home, as one does when they are relieved they did not lose their entire identity (aka phone and wallet) in one fell swoop. BF had whiskey neat (the strongest drink you can get in the whole state), and I had a bottle of cider, because anything on draught is less than 4% ABV. At that point, I was happy to be leaving the next day, back to the land of the alcoholic a.k.a. New York City.

The next day we cleaned up the house and headed to the airport, where we were through security before noon. Only problem, our flight wasn’t until midnight. Luckily for me, and to the sole credit of my boyfriend, I have started credit card churning (full blog on that another time), and therefore I had an AMEX Platinum Card that got me into the Delta Sky Lounge. (Highly recommend that card. USE MY LINK!) We had 12 hours of free booze, free food, and free wifi. I read the entire book, The Young Wives Club, and did some blogging. Watch out for my next Student Loan installment coming later this week!

Overall, I didn’t see too many Mormons except at the airport (disappointing) but I did have a blast. Also, any number of days where I am not breathing in NYC’s unique and trademarked mix of smog, trash, piss, and sadness is a good weekend overall.

Ready for our red-eye back to smelly NYC.
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Travel

Down The Shore

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On Saturday, I took my emoji-faced boyfriend on a day trip adventure “down the shore” i.e. to the beach in New Jersey. This term is well-known in the northeast, and even the New York Times recognizes it as a thing. Other terms like Bennies and Shoebies are less well known, but well-documented. We were gone for 16 hours, and we returned with memories of Wawa Hoagiefest, full bellies of fresh clams (both of us), very sunburned legs (mostly just me), and salt in our hair.

Our adventure started at 8 am. During the summer, there are select NJ Transit express trains to Bay Head on Saturday mornings, so we wanted to make sure we got on the 9:01 am train! We had to first stop at the bodega, because you know what they say, “never leave home without a bodega sausage egg and cheese.” #DietStartsThisWeek. After the bodega, we got to the subway to find out that the next train was not coming for 14 minutes. SURPRISE SURPRISE, foiled by the MTA’s “constant service” yet again. We hopped into a cab and made it to Penn Station with plenty of time. The NJ transit was surprisingly reliable compared to the MTA, and we arrived on time!

I haven’t told you the reason for this adventure, but here we go: Wawa towel delivery. Yes, you read that correctly. I dragged my boyfriend on a $30/person train ride down the shore to hand-deliver a Wawa Hoagiefest towel. It was THAT important!!

Backstory: My dad works at Wawa, and before he started working there, he heard they had a cult-like following. However, he had no idea the extent of it. Sure enough, as soon as he started to tell people that he worked for Wawa, their first response, WITHOUT FAIL was “OH MY GOD I LOVE WAWA!” My dad soon realized that he had access to some great perks, like employee benefit drives selling Wawa paraphernalia! As soon as word spread to my friends, they were asking for things left and right. I now have friends in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, Las Vegas, NV, Burbank, CA, and Chadwick Beach, NJ who wait on the edge of their seats for the yearly fundraising drive items. This year, we were lucky enough to have the holiday sale AND an extra Hoagiefest towel sale to benefit Associates in Need.

Rewind 33 Years and Fast Forward to Last Saturday: One of my sister’s friends, Sara, from nursery school 33 years ago, grew up going to the Jersey shore and she has been obsessed with Wawa ever since, a shore staple. She even celebrated her 21st birthday with a 1 am Wawa trip! Needless to say, she needed a Wawa towel. I was happy to be the messenger and hand-deliver the precious cargo, and make a day out of it! Sara picked us up from the train station and our first stop was, OF COURSE, WAWA. We picked up $4.99 hoagies and to my chagrin, they were selling the very towels I came to deliver RIGHT IN THE STORE! WOOPS. I was disappointed, but hey, at least the one I was toting was for a good cause! Also, I got a day at the beach and I got to visit with old friends.

Sara’s husband, Dave, was already at the beach holding down the fort with their almost-3-year-old daughter, Lyra, and he didn’t mind waiting, since we came bearing hoagies and Wawa Iced Tea (absolute necessity at the beach; Half and Half, diet). We brought 2 liters. We settled in, and then Sara and I went for a swim while Lyra had a snack. Sara and I started chatting with two guys in the ocean and they told us that sting rays were out in full force. We spent 30 minutes chasing waves and we finally saw a huge sting ray in one of the waves! It was amazing, in a #CrocodileHunter way. #RIP. No photos, unfortunately

We headed back to our chairs, put Lyra down for a nap, and cracked open a couple of beers. Perfect day, except I forgot one crucial accessory: SUNSCREEN! I’m not used to being prepared for the beach with chairs etc. When I was in high school, we just pulled up to the beach with a towel I mostly stayed laying on my stomach, usually hungover from the night prior. Now as a full-grown 30-year old, lounging on chairs, I totally forgot to use sunscreen on my stomach and legs!! #HelpMeCoppertone I remembered my shoulders and face, but as you can see (below), my legs turned lobster-red. Oops. Around 4 pm, we were evacuated from the beach due to lightning spotted nearby, and we moved to Sara’s family’s shore house, where we lounged on the deck, ate happy hour snacks, and drank refreshing Portuguese white wine. Lyra helped me put lotion and aloe on, while commenting on how pink my legs were. #NoSh*tSherlock #KidsHaveNoFilter.

Soon enough, the storm caught up to us, so we moved inside, I took a quick shower so I could reapply aloe and protect my poor red legs, and then I had a Duplo-building party with Lyra. Why are large Legos so much more fun than the regular-sized ones? So much less stressful. Also, almost-3-year-olds’ structures are easier to build than the elaborate sets my brother used to make me help with. Soon enough, it was time to sit down to dinner beginning with amazing fresh clams that Sara’s dad Ray had found the day prior. We ate them raw with cocktail sauce and hot sauce. Check out this boomerang of me shooting it.

Sara’s mom, Olga, is an amazing cook. She apologized profusely for “only” cooking what was left in fridge. Well let me tell you, I have never cooked such a great meal even with much preparation! There was fresh corn on the cob, steak, tomato salad, sautéed escarole, and roasted potatoes. YUM! What a great end to our day! I love when I don’t have to cook!

Emoji-Bf and I said goodnight to Lyra and headed back to the train. Unfortunately, there were no express trains and we were a bit delayed, but we eventually got back to NYC. It was pouring rain when we got back to the city and there was not an empty cab in sight. Luckily, I had my sunburned and aching legs with me to remind me of our amazing sun-filled day. Three days later, my legs have faded to light pink, and I already can’t wait to go back (assuming I’m invited)! I will need to stock up on some more Wawa swag to make sure I am needed.

 

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Travel

Washington, D.C.

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Strap in, this post is a doozy. Last weekend I traveled to Virginia for my cousin’s wedding, and I had a jam-packed 3 days in the Greater Washington D.C. area. I promise to travel to further and more interesting places soon, but for now, this will have to do for the blog.

I arrived on Thursday night, and luckily, my brother, a new DC resident, picked me up from the train station. Unluckily, he was pulled over by the cops on the way, who said that it was illegal to drive through a yellow light. What?! Isn’t that what yellows are for? Anyway, a bit delayed, we changed and went to dinner with his Home Plate Family. What is Home Plate? It’s basically the coolest invention ever, founded and run by the WashU Chancellor’s wife, Risa Zwerling Wrighton. If out of town students at WashU miss home-cooked meals and dinnertime, they can sign up for this program and get matched with a family. My brother’s “family” was even featured on the WashU website 5 years ago! Since my brother was a WashU student for 7 years (8 if you include the gap year), he basically grew up with his “family.” Therefore, we all grew up with them! I have been hearing about my brother’s second mom for almost a decade. He has been attending all of the kids’ recitals, ceremonies, and graduations for years and his “mom” is my favorite part of our family group texts! Anyway, we had a delicious dinner at Lavagna, where I heard about their time at the Newseum, which I absolutely must go to the next time I’m in DC.

After dinner, I met up with a friend from middle/high school, who I hadn’t seen in 3 years. We had a drink and talked for a while, until we realized it was getting late and now we are real adults with jobs and it was a work night. LAME.

The next morning, my brother and his gf and I woke up and went to my brother’s favorite bagel place, Bullfrog Bagels. It was ok, but nothing compared to NYC bagels (don’t tell him I said that). I’m spoiled. After barely digesting, we drove out to Arlington to work out at Orangetheory Fitness with my best friend from college. She is the head trainer for the region, and she definitely gave us a workout! My brother and I wore heartrate monitors so we could compete with each other on the screens. More about the actual workout later, I’ll do a full review. Suffice it to say, we left completely drenched in sweat, and she played one of my fav weekend ramp-up songs, Hello Friday by Jason Derulo and Flo Rida. I promptly added it to all of my playlists (FOLLOW ME ON SPOTIFY!). We took about 100 pictures , some below, some saved for my OTF blog review, then we went home to shower. The afternoon was STEAMY hot. We ate Ethiopian food, then had a few sake bombs to stave off heat exhaustion, as one does. The boomerangs were pretty epic.

We finished packing and headed to the suburb of Reston, VA, where the rest of the wedding weekend popped off. Something to know about my family: we don’t see each other often, but when we do, we have a BLAST! We started Beth and Kenny’s wedding weekend with hors d’ouvres and drinks at American Tap Room, which conveniently was a 3 minute walk from the hotel #DrinksOnDrinksOnDrinks. My uncle put together a slideshow and I had three cameos in it (#winning). I only cried three times. Ok, maybe four. I’m such a sucker for a slideshow! I got to mingle with all of my family, meet some of Kenny’s family for the first time (shoutout to my dance partner Shawna!) and better yet, I got to introduce my mom to the Moscow Mule. Her life is forever changed. We went to Thai food after, because duh, never enough food, and then we went back to the hotel.

 

Meanwhile, my favorite emoji-bf STILL had not arrived! When I got back to the hotel, I found out his flight had been delayed 4 times, then canceled, after he had already been on the plane for an hour! Ultimately, he made it to the hotel by 7 am the next day, without his bag. He took a 3 am Amtrak and managed to piece together a wedding outfit from a tux shirt, a blazer he keeps in his office, and some too-tight slacks (photos below). Don’t worry, we are currently in negotiations for some compensation from Delta. Putting my ESQ. to good use.

Since the bf had barely arrived by the time we were supposed to leave for our Segway tour, I subbed in my brother’s girlfriend for the tour, instead. We had some epic Metro issues; I guess NYC isn’t alone in their #publictransitproblems. But the good news is, we made a new friend on the Metro who we shared an Uber with. Renee, are you out there somewhere? I should have gotten your contact info! Anyway, we embarked on my longest Segway Tour to date, by Bike and Roll DC. We got a Groupon (major tip here for Segway tours), and it was so much fun! Our tour guide Jen was so awesome, I made sure to write a review on Groupon and Trip Advisor. Also, it came with free popsicles and water. We rolled around DC for 2.5 hours with a family from Copenhagen, learning awesome little-known facts and taking a million photos. Did you know, legend has it that the 50 US flags around the Washington Monument were originally supposed to be state flags but the states couldn’t agree on which would be closest to the White House so they are all US flags instead? Did you know that Truman barely got to live in the White House because when he tried to move in, his piano broke through the rotting floor boards? He had to move out while they gutted the whole thing. Some say they approved the plans to add the Truman Balcony (now one of the most-noticeable things on the facade) to commemorate him and make up for the fact that he could barely live there.

After the awesome Segway tour, we headed back to the hotel for a quick dip in the pool, then got ready for the wedding! We took the shuttle bus to the Stone Tower Winery, which was even prettier than the photos. Really, the pictures do not do it justice. And the sunset… woah. Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself. I was scared it would be blazing hot (outside wedding in July? NO THANKS), but it wasn’t as bad as I had feared. There was a nice breeze, they had a table with lemon-infused water and champagne to the side of the ceremony, and instead of classic programs, they had the information printed on little fans. Very cute touch.

My cousin looked absolutely amazing, not that I’m biased or anything 😉 She was walked down the aisle by her mom and dad, which I always find sweet. They asked for no phones out during the ceremony, so no photos of that. Also, they wrote their own vows, which is so much more personal. I was listening intently since I was a rule-follower and had put away my phone. I only cried two more times. Okay, three. The officiant was actually their backup officiant, after a particularly gruesome kickball accident, and he totally killed it. Short, sweet, funny, and he could pronounce both of their names! (Trust, me that is not always the case). Both bride and groom added One Direction lyrics to their vows, which was hilarious and amazing and unplanned. They each broke individual glasses, which was a new tradition I had not seen before, but I liked the concept of not just having the guy do it.

The reception was so much fun. The dance floor was poppin’ (extra shoutout to my 88-year-old grandmother who never left the dance floor), there were glow sticks, there was an open bar, and an outdoor patio if you needed a break from the music. The hora was fun, minus a minor chandelier-tiara-head incident, and the toasts were hilarious. I got to sit with my cousins and next to my aunt and uncle. The craziest thing that happened all night: someone from the same floor of my college dorm, freshman year, 12 years ago, recognized me! She is married to a friend of the groom. Craziest small world ever. Things like that do not happen when you go to a school with over 50,000 students. It was so great to see you, Anna!

The real star of the reception was the fire pit and the DIY s’mores. With Reese’s cups! WHAT!? It was amazing. My emoji-bf informed me that since he was an Eagle Scout, I need not show him how to roast a marshmallow. Excusez-moi. We had a sparkler sendoff for the bride and groom, which was a super fun ending to a great night.

Lessons Learned:

  • I have too many friends in DC and I need to visit more often (next time Brittany/Davon/Tahon/Kristina!)
  • Orangetheory will leave me sore for days (ok, already knew that).
  • Segways are amazing (I knew that too).
  • I really like my brother’s gf (don’t screw this up, bro!)
  • I need to get together with my extended family more often.
  • Weddings in July are not always as hot as you’d fear, with enough champagne.
  • The Gator Nation is Everywhere!
  • I need to write shorter blog posts.
Family Photo! One of these things is not like the other hahahha
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Big City Living, Travel

July 4th at Travers Island

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It’s July 10th, so it’s about time to review July 4th. I’m a bit behind. My 4th of July Freedom-Fest came together at the very last minute, but it included all the makings of a fantastic day: a quick getaway from NYC, best friends, a pool, and (most importantly?) unlimited food. Oh, and of course, I can never resist a good theme. I was in red white and blue EVERYTHING, all day, toes to bows, with multiple outfit changes.

My best friend is a member of the New York Athletic Club, an incredibly exclusive social and athletic club in NYC. Memberships are by invitation only, and you need to appear before a membership board for an interview before acceptance. It’s so exclusive, in fact, that they only began admitting women in 1989 (“voluntarily”… after the Supreme Court mandated it and some controversy ensued that it was not a business club, etc. etc.). They have had their share of controversies over admissions and have been picketed by demonstrators by the Congress for Racial Equality. Enough about that history. Read their Wikipedia for more. Anywayyy, I was pretty psyched to get an invite to Travers Island, full-Jew-blood and all.

NYAC has two houses, one in Manhattan (City House), and one in Westchester (Travers Island). I couldn’t wait to explore this country oasis 15 miles from Manhattan. Since my emoji bf had hurt his back the day prior, we made it a girls’ day, and boarded the free shuttle from NYC at 10 am, loaded up with multiple red, white, and blue clothing items, and varying SPF’s of sun protection. Upon boarding the bus I hid my Jew curls, and thanked my stars that my POC bf had stayed at home for fear of the WASP-illuminati. JK. But also really. So many blondes! More than I had ever seen in New York before.

The charter bus ride was quick, and we arrived at this beautiful house on the Long Island Sound, complete with an Olympic-sized salt water pool. There were chairs, beautifully-manicured trees, and young men (boys?) to help us move our chairs to the perfect half sunny/half shady/prime fireworks-viewing position. And yes, it was only 11 am, but we were thinking ahead. Totally paid off. We changed into swimsuits in the huge locker rooms (2nd themed outfit of the day), and sunscreened it up. We spent the day hopping between the huge pool and the buffet BBQ with multiple salads, roasted fennel, hot dogs, hamburgers, and all-you-can-eat popsicles/ice cream bars.

We did a few laps around the pool so we could get some fitbit steps in and burn off maybe one half of one ice cream bar. On one of our laps around the pool, we discovered the kids’ area. We asked around, and found out that we were probably too big for the bouncy water slide, but snow cones and cotton candy were fair game and they opened at 5 pm. They had temporary tattoos as well, but the line was too long (and I was a little embarrassed since most of the 30-year-olds there were accompanied by their own children). We continued our circuit from food to pool to laying out to walking around to kill time, and at 5 pm we circled back to the kids’ area and finally got cotton candy AND snow cones, because go big or go home. Everything was amazing. The sun was still high in the sky, and our unlimited food wristbands included dinner as well. Dinner added seasoned and grilled shrimp skewers, which were AMAZING. I had decided at 1 pm to skip all bread and rolls to save room for more food. Good strategy, worked all day for me. I may be done with #30Years30IceCreams, but I am clearly failing at any attempt I thought I’d make at a diet.

The sun finally started to set at 8:30 pm, and we changed into another dry, red, white, and blue outfit, and parked ourselves on blankets for the 10 pm fireworks. After 20+ rounds of Heads Up!, the best way ever to kill time, we brought out our glow sticks and prepared ourselves for the show. We had seen the pyrotechnics crew at the buffet earlier (the only visible tattoos and facial hair I saw all day) and there were 20 of them, so we were hoping for a great show. We were NOT disappointed. The private show lasted 15 full minutes, and they were some of the closest fireworks I had ever seen! I took at least 4 boomerangs for my insta story (because pics or it didn’t happen), and then we packed up to go. We boarded the VIP shuttle back to the City House, and half-slept/half-watched fireworks along the East River as we drove back into Manhattan. 9 hot dogs, 5 shrimp skewers, lots of tan lines, and innumerable trips to the bathroom later, I’d say we had a fantastic day. We didn’t even have one drink! It was real American clean fun. Until next year, maybe they’ll allow emoji-humans entry to NYAC by then. U-S-A! U-S-A!

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Travel

Montréal

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For two long months, I have had a blog with a tab for travel, and I never once left New York City. All of that changed last weekend. I left the city. I left the state. I left the COUNTRY!! I went to Montreal, Quebec. (Not as glamorous as you thought it was going to be, I know.)

We were looking for a nearby city where we could spend a 3-day weekend with minimal airfare, minimal time zone difference, and that neither of us had visited before. By we, I mean my emoji-faced-bf, if you have not guessed yet from the feature image or the photos below. Last year, we went to Toronto in February – YUGE mistake. It was literally -25 degrees Fahrenheit with the wind chill. We made a mutual decision that we would never do that again, so we decided on a different province in a different season.

We got in late on Thursday night and headed to our Air Bnb, where our host had luckily left our keys in a masterlock on the door. The code actually worked, and the air conditioning was blasting, we were off to a good start. Some of my friends gave me suggested places to go, as did our air bnb host. Good news: I did my due diligence and downloaded my google map so I could use it offline (Canada means I had my phone on airplane mode the whole time), and I starred all of the places I wanted to see. Bad news: #BankingLifeNeverEnds so my boyfriend had work to do and we only got to go to about half of my starred places.

Our first day there, we left the apartment at noon (after he submitted his report), and did some exploring by foot. We headed toward Basilique Notre-Dame de Montréal and the Maisonneuve Monument. We didn’t go in the church, mostly because it had a long line and also because it cost money. We took some pictures and took in some sights, then continued our walking journey through beautiful streets of Old Montreal. The streets and buildings looked very European, and it helped the vibe that everyone was speaking French. We took a quick pitstop at “Café Starbucks” to charge our phones and check tips on Foursquare on where to eat lunch. We settled on Jardin Nelson and I’m pretty pissed I forgot to take photos of my food. We shared the lobster mac and cheese, which literally cannot be bad, and the duck crepe. Woah. FAMAZING. Which I believe is french for “YUM-O.”

We took the long way back to our air bnb for a siesta and came across a festival. Supposedly there are festivals every weekend during the summer, but this one was called Les FrancoFolies. It’s an annual music festival featuring over 1,000 French-language performers from all over the world. Pretty cool. We also came across a lot of random performances, exhibits, and a newly-constructed zip line at the old port of Montreal to celebrate its 375th year. According to their Bureau of Tourism, more than 175 projects and initiatives are planned throughout this year to celebrate. GO VISIT NOW!

After our nap, and after discovering there was a bodega inside our air bnb building that sold wine, #PregameEvenInCanada, we went out to Pullman Wine Bar, which was highly recommended. Get. The. Cheese. Plate. Trust me on this. Again, I’m really sad the only photo I took was of the chandelier. I’m not a very good blogger. After the wine bar, we decided to check out the epic nightlife that everyone talks about on Rue St. Laurent. Unfortunately, the nightlife consisted of children aged 18-21 and the club we waited in line for was reservation-only. Lamezilla. We ended up at Bar James, possibly named for James Dean, or maybe James Franco, where some very rich, local, middle-aged man took a liking to my BF and me. He bought us each a round and 3 shots. He also bought 20 roses for the bartender. He also told my bf that he wears the pants in our relationship, but I pick the color. Accurate.

I realized the next morning that I could not hang like I used to. Jameson is not my friend. Jameson is my enemy.

The next morning, post-during-hangover, we started out as any good Quebeckers do: with poutine. We went to Romados Rotisserie, which is supposedly #1 in Montreal for French fries, something I clearly had to research prior to my trip. I ALMOST didn’t try poutine because I hated it in Toronto, but everyone told me only Quebec does it right, and they were correct. YUM. Also, I finally remembered to take a photo. I also got the pork sandwich, which was equally amazing, if not better. We did some walking around Plateau Mont-Royal, walked some more down Rue St. Laurent and same across a mini street fair. Also, a lululemon enchanted forest! You can’t make this sh*t up. Me, the person who shamelessly owns over 100 pieces from lulu, came across “La Forêt Enchantée présentée par lululemon.” A literal dream come true. We stopped for a quick caffeine jolt at Allô! Mon Coco, then we made the biggest mistake of the trip… renting bikes.

One of my friends from Spin class recommended renting bikes, and said Montreal was “very bike-friendly, with bike lanes completely separated from traffic with medians.” #FAKENEWS. Full disclosure: I had not been on a bike in nearly 16 years (insert jab about me teaching Spin class 3 times a week). We were attempting to get to Belvédère Camillien-Houde, but needless to say, we did not get there. The road was a STEEP hill and there was traffic coming at us from all directions. Also, we didn’t have helmets and I was terrified. Cue not-so-mini panic attack in the middle of the road. We decided to hop back into the Parc du Mont-Royal to calm my nerves and visit the Monument to Sir George-Étienne Cartier. We returned our bikes and got ready for the best part of the trip, SEGWAYS!!

We discovered Segways when we went to Cleveland for a friend’s wedding, and found a Groupon for them. We had a BLAST in Montreal, as we always do. I highly recommend renting them everywhere you go. Click here to reserve them if you are going to Montreal. My sister and brother-in-law do this, too. Our tour guide was francophone, but we did not have much trouble understanding her. She explained to us how many of the buildings in Montreal dated back to the Industrial Revolution, and how salesmen commuted by horse in the winter over the ice when the St. Laurence River would freeze over. This is no longer possible due to global warming. They still believe in science in Canada. Thank goodness for air travel! We also learned that Montreal is famous for their steakhouses, dating back to an original Steak Connoisseur, and the phenomenon of economic competition. We quickly made a reservation at The Keg Steakhouse and Bar, one of the top steakhouses in Montreal. It did not disappoint. However, my blogging skills did. I forgot to take pictures. Again. We had baked brie, calamari, crab and steak, and pistachio-encrusted salmon. All amazinggg. Then we rolled ourselves to an uber and back to our air bnb. #FoodComaCommence.

Overall, we had a great time in Montreal. I will have to go back to the other sights like the Underground City, Musée McCord Museum, and Crescent Street. Also, maybe I’ll try again to get to Belvédère Camillien-Houde, this time without the bikes. Until next time, Montreal, Au Revoir!

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