Mom Life – LongLegsBigCity

Day in the Life: A Log of My Days

February 6, 2026 7 Comments

I have been struggling to post here on my blog because recently I’ve been feeling like there is nothing to say. My life is both very full and busy, and very boring and repetitive. But then I remembered that the word blog literally comes from a portmanteau of “web” and “log,” and I figured I could give you all a window into the log of my daily life.

Here are a few of my favorite activities these days.

Reading. I love reading. The books I used to read were hundreds of pages long, had digital or paper pages, and contained 99.9% words. The books I’m reading these days are 8-16 pages long, they are made of cardboard or indestructible and waterproof paper-ish material, and they contain 99.9% pictures, with 1-10 words per page. The most important difference is that in my previous life, it was a rare occasion for me to read a book twice in my life. These days, it’s a rare occasion for me to read a book less than five times in an hour. I know so many books by heart that sometimes Elmo’s Lucky Day shows up in my dreams. “Why is Elmo wearing green from head to toe? Elmo is celebrating St. Patrick’s Day!” And yes, I know it’s barely February. Toddler A has been very into St. Patrick’s Day since June. Thanks, Buy Nothing for bringing this literary masterpiece into our lives. I would say a pretty big percentage of my day is taken up by reading. Sometimes, I actually get to the end of the book, which is immediately followed by the baby sign for “AGAIN,” but about 50% of the time I get through 2-3 random pages Toddler A picks, and then he brings over a new book. Good thing I already know the endings!

When I am not reading, I am cooking. Ms. Jen got Toddler A a play kitchen for Christmas, and WOW he really loves it. He spends many, many minutes a day pouring things, stirring things, taking the tops on and off the pots, and of course bringing me his famous recipes to try. The kitchen came with pretend food, but the little man knows what’s up. He needs REAL food for his kitchen. He has become a master manipulator, convincing me he is starving for cheese or crackers, or banana, just to take one bite then run it over to his kitchen to cook up some delicacies. Every evening when I clean up, I have to check all of the pots and pans and cabinets in the play kitchen because without fail, I find real food in there. If he doesn’t become the next Carmy and open his own Michelin restaurant, I’d be surprised.

The issue with New York apartments is, even if they are big, they are small. And with an active kid like Toddler A, he needs room to roam. First, it was the hallway. I spent many many hours in the hallway in December. Especially hiding behind corners where he would run at full speed to find me. Then, we started taking his walker into the hallway so he could scare the dogs in all of the apartments with loud renditions of Old McDonald as he ran past their doors. Then, one day Ms. Jen let him bring his walker to the park, and the rest is history. He discovered that it was possible to bring his toys into the elevator, and now we never leave home without one. I have discovered mini spatulas, balls, drumsticks, and a baby doll thermometer in my pocket in the last month, because he insisted on bringing them downstairs or upstairs, then lost interest 3 minutes later.

You may ask why he lost interest. Well, that answer is easy: because who wants the hallway or toys when you have the LOBBY. It is an amusement park. At least, it is to him. It has everything he could possibly want. Stairs to climb up and down 90-100 times in a row, couches to climb on (and slide off) 200-300 times in a row, a chandelier and art and a fountain to point at, and of course, the doormen. I have coined him the mascot of the building because we spend so much time running around the lobby. Everyone knows him, and each doorman has their own nickname for him, or special thing they do together. Do I wish he hung out with children his own age? Sure. But I also feel so lucky that everyone here is so kind to him. In my daily log, I’d make a conservative estimate that we end up in the lobby 6-8 times/day.

Of course, he eventually gets exhausted from all of the stair and couch-climbing, so we continue on our daily excursions. First: the mailboxes. Not only are they shiny, but he gets to sit up-up-up-up on the counter, which is very exciting. Also, KEYS. You know, the things you use every day of your life to enter your house, car, etc? Those boring things you need to remember not to forget? Those things are VERY exciting to a toddler. Holding them, shaking them, eating them (yuck), and of course, turning them in a lock. My main issue with bestowing my keys to the tiny terror at the mailbox is that eventually, he loses interest and then wants to run around and climb couches and stairs again, while holding them, which is dangerous. But children have no sense of danger, so, a tantrum generally ensues as I pry them from his (mysteriously) strong grip.

He is extremely strong. I would say, “I wonder how he got that way,” but I know the answer. He weight trains. Yes, you read that right, the boy “lifts things up and puts them down,” like the Planet Fitness commercial. A good percentage of our daily routine is carrying things. He has picked up and moved all of the items in the playroom. He picks up packages he finds in the lobby. And of course, his favorite: yellow caution signs. If the floor is wet or slippery from rain or snow, don’t worry, Toddler A will be moving the signs around carrying them to all corners of the lobby making sure everyone knows. The “CAUTION” on the signs is not heeded by this toddler. He will not be deterred by mere signage.

After our daily dose of weightlifting, we hit up our next favorite spot: the laundry room. We have a washing machine in our apartment, but that one is behind a child-locked door. When he discovered that there were machines (plural) accessible to his tiny hands at all hours of the day, he was elated. When I discovered that the buttons make noise and light up but don’t actually turn the machines on because you need to pay, I was elated. It is the best of both worlds. He gets the excitement of buttons, doors, lights and sounds, and I don’t have to pay for the electricity, or worry he will accidentally waterboard himself. Recently, I showed him how I can take him for a ride in the rolling laundry baskets. Needless to say, I’m the coolest mom around. I told you my days were full and busy!

Ms. Jen always says Toddler A loves “novelty,” so when he discovers something new, he becomes obsessed, and that new activity becomes a huge part of our day. Recently, it was the luggage carts. As I noted before, we spend a great deal of time in the lobby, but he only recently discovered he could climb on and off rolling things. Personally, this activity is one of my favorites because he enjoys giving me kisses through the bars. Yes, it’s reminiscent of a jail cell, but I love the kisses anyway. I don’t love that they keep the carts by the front door of the building, which is constantly opening to the arctic circle temperatures we have been living in recently, but it’s a small price to pay for at least 7 minutes of fun.

When Toddler A is (we are) completely and totally exhausted from our lobby follies, we head back to the apartment for snacks, 30% of which end up in his mouth, and 70% in his play kitchen. Then, we turn on Ms. Rachel, or as we have to say here, “M-S R-A-C-H-E-L” because he understands us now. Toddler A used to love Gracie from Gracie’s Corner, and we called her “his girlfriend,” but this love turned into an unhealthy obsession. According to google, it qualified as an “obsessive love disorder” or “limerence.” When I realized that turning off Gracie led to a daily meltdown, we switched programming.

Anyway, I can usually get about 8 minutes of uninterrupted time when Ms. Rachel is on, so I can make dinner or sit down. Did you notice I filled 3 pages with my daily activities, and I never left the building? #winterlife. Despite never going outdoors, I somehow every day end up with 10,000+ steps and 11 out of 11 hours moving. As I said, I have been busy. And, not at all.

Mom Life

Traveling While Momming

September 15, 2025 6 Comments

I was preparing for yet another trip recently, packing approximately 20 suitcases for a 2-night trip, when a friend asked me if it gets easier each time.

Short answer: no.

The main problem is, even if we travel twice a month, A changes every time, so the packing needs and traveling needs change as well. Not to mention, he used to barely crawl, and now he basically runs.

It is hard to explain why traveling with a baby/toddler is difficult, but I’m going to attempt to break it down here.

PACKING:

The obstacles begin before you leave the house, and to be honest, this might be the most complicated piece. I’ve talked a little about the difficulty of packing before, but this part certainly doesn’t seem to get easier. I have a permanent packing list on my phone in Microsoft To Do, just the same way I do for myself. However, since his needs are constantly changing, so is the packing list.

Example: We used to only need bottles (and a bottle brush and bottle soap), now we need a bottle and sippy cup.

We used to need the pack and play, now we also need a crib sheet because maybe (HOPEFULLY) the hotel will have a full-size crib so Chris and I can actually get some sleep. We used to need a glass container to make formula, now we need to figure out how to transport milk, or we need to plan ahead to buy milk wherever we are going.

There’s the sleep sack, the sound machine, the monitor, the monitor charger, the wipes, the aquafor, the DIAPERS. Basically, he needs his own 25-pound trunk of stuff, and he’s just over 25 pounds himself.

Also, I glazed over the fact that I now work from two separate packing lists. So, I am working off of his and mine, flipping back and forth. And it’s not like he can just use my stuff if I forget… he has his own SPECIAL toothpaste. And don’t get me started on his hair care routine.

For me, if I forget my pajamas, it doesn’t really matter because I can sleep in workout clothes, or frankly, in nothing at all. For A if I forget his particular zippie pajamas or his sleep sack, he just won’t sleep. Which means none of us sleep. Every item is gravely important.

WAITING/TRAVEL:

The travel itself is usually a nightmare, even in the best-case scenario. There’s the uber to the train/airport/venue, which usually includes a meltdown because we aren’t in cars that often. I have mostly learned how to avoid this by giving him an endless stream of his favorite snacks as a distraction, but it is still hit or miss.

Then there’s the waiting. For the train. For the security line. For the plane. To take off. These days, there are usually delays. Waiting is not easy for adults, and it certainly isn’t easy for babies. No matter how many toys, snacks, spinners, sticky men, painter’s tape or any other number of tricks I tried to learn from TikTok, it’s still hard.

On our most recent trip to Atlanta, it took two hours from returning the rental car to the multiple airtrains to security etc. until we were at the gate, and then another FOUR HOURS after we boarded until we took off. A is actually very good on planes, since they have all of his favorite things: people, lights, screens, and of course pockets on the back of seats where he can pull out papers and throw them on the floor. He did relatively well during the 4-hour delay, and made friends with everyone in the surrounding rows. But gone are the days of just watching a movie or closing my eyes for a nap.

After 2 hours of transport and 4 hours of ground delays, he passed out on me when we took off.

BEING IN A DIFFERENT PLACE:

This seems easy, right? 1-year olds don’t do much, why is it any different to “not do much” somewhere else? WRONG. In hotels, there are millions of death traps including uncovered outlets, corners of tables and counters that are exactly baby-head-height, there are bathrooms with no actual closing doors, slippery bathroom floors with showers that flood the floor and make it even more slippery, cords for many floor lamps, etc. You cannot leave a 1-year-old to their own devices in a hotel room, so you need to constantly be 3 steps behind them, and even that is sometimes too far.

I have found a short-term solution for this: the lobby.

Recently when we were at a wedding in New Jersey, I took A to the lobby every day for at least an hour. He ran around, greeting and smiling at everyone, he LOVED the people coming and going, he also loved the open space, the couches, and the lights and chandeliers. He loved the automatic doors more than anything, but again that required a bit of supervision so he didn’t walk right out. Shoutout to the staff at the Hyatt Regency in Morristown, who were all so sweet and lovely to him, smiling, waving, blowing kisses, and even giving him a mini teddy bear. Extra perk of spending hours in the lobby: all of the running helps tire the kids out. Which brings me to the next travel nightmare:

NAPPING

I don’t even know what to say here. Let’s just leave it at… naps while traveling are a challenge. The people whose kids “nap anywhere” or “just put them in the stroller for a nap”… they’re lying to you. Or they don’t have a SUPER curious kid like mine who keeps his eyes open as long as there is literally anything to look at.

The only good part is that hotels tend to have pretty good blackout shades. But with everything else completely different than home? Sleep is hard to come by. We sometimes will resort to having him sleep on the bed so long as one of us is next to him to make sure he doesn’t roll off. We have also Macgyvered all sorts of strange arrangements. In NJ, he wouldn’t sleep in the crib but he would sleep NEXT to it, on the couch, so we pulled the crib up to the couch as the third wall and then used a cushion near his feet to enclose the full rectangle. I’d include a photo, but as aforementioned, it was completely 100% pitch black in there. It worked though! He slept for a full 90 minutes while I crept around in the dark and slithered into the bathroom to do my makeup and hair for the wedding.

Mid-nap, in the dark, cuddled up the only way he’d sleep.

THE MEMS

You might say, “wow Emily that sounds horrific, why would you ever go anywhere ever?” To which I would say, “you’re right, I don’t know why.” Actually, I do know why. As my Gen Z sister-in-law would say, we do it for the mems. Not his mems, of course, he doesn’t mem anything.

The pictures are great. The family we get to see loves to see him, and of course the main thing: if I didn’t leave the house WITH him, I just plain wouldn’t leave the house at all.

So, does it get better/easier? Moms, let me know in the comments.

Exploring new places is his favorite! Extra fun when there’s a window in the room that’s just his height.

Miscellaneous, Mom Life

Chaotic Life Update – August 2025

August 7, 2025 1 Comment

I listen to a few podcasts and on one of them, the host occasionally does a “chaotic life update” when a lot has happened and she wants to catch everyone up.

Since I’ve only posted on the blog a few times this year, and the year is more than half over, I think we are overdue for some updates. Presented here in no particular order because chaos is the new name of the game.

We went on our first international trip as a family!

…on 3 days’ notice. Honestly, I think I deserve a medal like I won the Olympics because WHAT?! I still can’t believe I succeeded at this and did not forget anything. I placed 14 Amazon orders between Monday when we booked the flights, and Thursday when we left. That is not an exaggeration, that is a fact.

We also had to wait in a 2-hour line with an 11-month-old when we got to the airport because my ticket was booked under my maiden name, but my passport has my married name. By the time we boarded the plane, I was already out of all of my tricks I got on TikTok for entertaining a small child while traveling.

I won’t go into the full details of the flight, but let’s just say it was a CHALLENGE. The flight attendants were on their worst behavior, and they were scolding passengers the whole time and even handing out yellow tickets to parents of misbehaving kids. They had security meet some of the parents at the gate in Mexico! Thankfully I was not the recipient of a yellow ticket, despite A’s choice timing of a major poo blowout that we had to change on the seat next to us, after being instructed absolutely no passengers were allowed in the aisle. Sigh.

Anyway, the trip was so fun, all of Chris’s siblings were there, A got to swim in a big pool and the ocean for the very first time, and he absolutely adored the never-ending food. Especially the French fries. He’s clearly his mother’s son.

Related… we got him his first passport!

…that arrived with his incorrect birth date. MAJOR eye roll. Why do they require the original copy of a birth certificate if they are not cross checking it?? If there’s something I just love doing, it’s paperwork. Can you sense the sarcasm? Anyway, after more paperwork and an additional trip to the post office, we eventually got it corrected.

I’ve officially been an employee at my organization for 11 years *mind blown emoji*

This is pretty much exactly what I would recommend people not do if they want to advance their careers. That said, I have had three different roles at this organization, AND I had my student loans forgiven last summer! I was in the thick of postpartum so I never wrote a blog about it, but it happened! I am officially debt-free. I don’t need to think about the horrible mistake I made going to law school, and thankfully I didn’t have a heart attack taking the Bar Exam.

I’ve been reflecting a lot on how much has changed since I started this job. It’s hard to look at 11 years and NOT think about what has transpired since I began.

I have gone from single to dating. Dating to engaged. Resident of NYC. COVID. 6-month temporary resident of Texas. Brown hair to purple hair to blonde hair to brown hair. Engaged to married. Pregnant. Mother of a dead child. Pregnant. Mother of an alive child (and still a dead one). It’s been a lot. And I’m still working with the same rabbis! And after all of these years, I’m still completely nonreligious.

Speaking of alive children…

Baby A turned 1!!

I guess he has to be Toddler A now, technically. How did that happen?? Time flies when you are in a hormone and sleep-deprived haze.

We had a huge party for him at a brewery, and no matter the judgement I received for the choice of venue, it was definitely the right decision! A had a blast crawling and pulling himself around the floor, and he definitely loved the BYO food policy because he was able to eat cheese to his heart’s content.

The theme was PIZZA and I made him a bespoke pizza crown, as well as matching shirts for all of us. Who knew that having a kid would mean that I could flex my DIY Halloween costume muscles multiple times/year now!? Speaking of… I better start thinking about Halloween.

I’ve gone to see 4 Broadway Shows this year!

Actually, I’ve seen 4 on Broadway and 1 off! I started the year strong with Oh Mary AND Suffs in January, and then I saw Buena Vista Social Club for my birthday with Chris, and I saw The Great Gatsby last week. Also, I saw the Friends Parody Musical, which was off Broadway and hysterical. I have been trying to balance my life more, carving out time for myself. Also, now that A barely wakes up at night, I feel more comfortable coming home after 9 pm because there’s a good possibility I will still get sleep. Chris and I have worked out a schedule that seems to be good for both of us, but hopefully soon we will also leave the house together more often. Fingers crossed. Speaking of carving out time for myself…

I am trying to get back into a gym routine.

I am actually a member of three gyms now, and I am proud that last month I had two personal milestones: swimming a mile for the first time since BEFORE Covid and running the entire 28 minute block in Orangetheory without any breaks to walk. I am trying to get back to feeling as strong as I did before I had A. After Maliyah, I threw myself into the gym and felt stronger than ever (physically). Now that I am strong mentally, I’m working on the physical part.

I weaned off of Zoloft. And therapy.

I both started and stopped Zoloft in the past year. I can’t say for sure if it helped, but I always said that I would start it, knowing that if I wanted to get off, I would just get off, and that’s what I did. Am I still anxious? Yes. Especially around big events like leading up to A’s birthday, but I like to think I can still function well through the anxiety and that is the main goal.

As for therapy, weaning off wasn’t difficult, but I think that’s because I did not have a good match for a therapist. I found myself wishing every week that I could use that hour for the gym instead, and so I decided to do just that. I’m not saying that working out is a substitute for therapy, but if you only have time for one, and the therapist isn’t the right fit, then you have to choose.

I am really back on the braiding wagon!

I have eight (8!!!) clients this month for festivals. Yikes! I also have five clients who have already signed up for hair for the NYC Marathon.

Related, I built a scheduler into my website for hair appointments for the marathon. I was so proud of myself for figuring it all out: the set up, the logos, the photo uploads, the calendar syncing, the bank account linking… everything! It looks great and I am proud of it! I am really hoping it cuts down on the back-and-forth admin time. Now with a small child, I have even less time to email to set up times and deposits, so I think this streamlined system will help a lot!

There are many things I could keep updating on, but I hope to be back to long form blogs soon so I can deep dive. Do you have any questions for me? Mom life, parenting after loss, NYC living, working mom balance, hair, professional, let me know in the comments 😊

Was he crying or screaming in excitement? No one knows.

Mom Life

3-Day-Weekends With Kids – A Double Bind Experiment

June 2, 2025 2 Comments

(written last week… with no time to post it)

Hello, it is Wednesday after a 3-day weekend and I am still not recovered. Every time our nanny has a day off, I just think… we do not pay her enough.

As I said in the title of this post, weekends with living kids are an absolute double bind. According to ChatGPT, a double bind is “a communication dilemma where an individual receives two or more conflicting messages, making it impossible to satisfy both demands at once. No matter how the person responds, they are punished, creating a no-win situation that often leads to anxiety and emotional distress.”

In this case, the “communication,” is communication from myself, to myself. AKA my thoughts.

Thought #1: 3 days is a VERY long time to spend ALONE with a child who doesn’t really play alone, doesn’t talk, doesn’t eat without help, and yet, wants to move around constantly and climb on you, and cover you in spit, barf, poop, bite marks and scratches.

Thought #2: Spending time with others means leaving the house and making plans. Plans are exhausting. Pre-planning the plans is even more exhausting. Wrangling an EXTREMELY active child in an environment I am not familiar with, and an environment that is likely not childproofed is even more exhausting.

Both of these situations definitely lead to anxiety and emotional distress.

Last weekend, I chose to carry out thought #2 and we had plans. 3 days, 3 different plans.

Day 1

Day 1 was hanging out with friends in a park. Easy, right? Wrong.

My pre-plan planning thoughts: When should we go to the park? Before the first nap at an ungodly hour in the morning? Or after the first nap, which is at an unpredictable time. Then I will need to text and keep our friends abreast of our timing, when I can never find my phone. And then, when he wakes up do I feed him before we leave? He will probably eat the pizza with us at the park, but I also don’t want to deal with a melt down on the way if he’s hungry. Also, the park is far. It requires an Uber. An Uber means a car seat. He hatesss being strapped in a car seat. I will need toys as a distraction. And a distance from home means a diaper bag. Who is going to pack the diaper bag? Me, of course. I could bring 0 snacks because we just fed him lunch AND there is going to be pizza there, but what if he is hungry? I will pack snacks. But what if he doesn’t like THOSE snacks? I will bring alternatives. If he’s going to eat, we DEFINITELY need wet wipes. And it’s hot, I should bring him water. He doesn’t usually like formula unless he’s going to nap, but what if he will nap in the car on the way home? Ok, I’ll bring formula. It’s cloudy but what if it gets sunny? I’ll bring a hat and sunscreen. And what about diapers? I need diapers and diaper paraphernalia for just-in-case blowouts and an outfit change.

All of that was before we even left for the plans.

Then we got to the plans, and I had to deal with pizza dropping on the ground and his obsession with the birds who tried to get the pizza off the ground, not to mention he himself, who was trying to pick up and then eat the pizza on the ground, which was, of course, far more appetizing than the pizza on the table. Also, the ant hills on the grass that I tried to steer his never-ending-crawling away from.

Needless to say, by the time we got home, I was 99% sure I was more tired than him. And it was only Day 1.

Day 2

Day 2 we had a wedding/50-year vow renewal for very close family friends. It was in Manhattan. That’s where we live! Easy, right? Wrong.

The wedding was at 11 am, also known as, right in the middle of nap #1. This meant no nap for A. This meant parental Olympics in the form of mama-distraction so he didn’t remember he was tired for hours. But first, mama needed to look presentable for a wedding where she would definitely see a colleague because it was at a synagogue. So, I put A in baby jail while I blow dried my hair and did my makeup, and he whined and cried at me and reached his arm out to me like he was indeed on Rikers Island, not 5 feet away from me, in a play pen full of toys.

After I got myself ready, I had to get him ready. Have you ever tried to fasten a shirt with 7 buttons on a tiger? Because that’s what it’s like putting a wedding outfit on a 10-month-old. I did one button then he somehow twisted himself onto the floor and crawled 3 feet away until I captured him in a body lock to do the next one while he screamed. Repeat 6 more times. And don’t get me started on the socks and shoes. Tying shoelaces on a child who doesn’t understand their foot movement control, or the fact that direct contact with their mother’s nose is not ideal, is a form of torture.

Once we arrived at the venue, as I mentioned, the boy could not sit still. For one full hour I tried everything I could to get him to not yell during the service. I sat down next to him, I had him sit on my lap. I gave him toys. I gave him a bottle. I stood up and held him. I brought him to the back of the sanctuary and let him crawl around while I chased him. I bounced him on my hip. I “shhhh”ed him (even though I don’t think he knows what that means). It was a Herculean feat, but he didn’t scream a single time and eventually, the service was over (it was beautiful from what I could concentrate on). Then came the brunch. Let’s just say… a lot of time was spent on the floor.

Baby Jail with that tiny hand reaching out to me from his cell

Day 3

Day 3 we technically only had one plan in the afternoon, and it was at my sister’s house. Very chill, very low key. Easy, right? Wrong.

Baby A decided to wake up at 6:45 am, so we had a longgg morning to fill. Since it was Fleet Week in NYC, I had a dream to find a group of sailors and take a photo of baby A with them. Sure, my brother is in the Navy and I could have just taken him to my brother’s work but this seemed much more NYC, much more Sex And the City. Except, like, everything that made Sex and the City, Sex and the City.

The place I knew sailors would congregate was the west side along the Hudson where all of the ships docked. We took the stroller down and sure enough, sailors were everywhere! We stared at the Intrepid for a while, lots of strangers talked to us, and then we came across a big group of sailors. I planned to just wheel baby A into the middle and take a candid, but the top-ranking guy forced them all to look at the camera. What an adventure! And we were home by 8:30. In the morning.

After morning nap, we had to get ready for the Memorial Day BBQ at my sister’s. This, of course, required all of the thought from the previous days. Diaper bag packing, snack necessity, outfit wrangling, etc. But this time, I also had to bring the small stroller that has no storage, because we were going to need to go up 10 stairs and fit in a small apartment.

We were on our way, walking, when it was clearly too warm for him. I decided to change plans and go on a bus, although I had never been on a bus with him in the stroller. Thank god for nice old ladies who helped me maneuver the handicapped seats. We finally arrived, maneuvered up the stairs, and the next set of obstacles presented themselves.

The apartment had toys, but of course he is too small to do anything but put them in his mouth, which he did thoroughly enjoy. He also crawled all over the floor where everyone was wearing their NYC shoes, and he licked the floor over and over again. Then he crawled everywhere, to the glass bowls, the very not-child-proofed kitchen area, and I was always 1 step behind him. There was another mom there with a baby 6 weeks younger, and he just sat in the carrier on her the entire time. Didn’t make a sound, didn’t fuss, perfectly content. Not my child! He was on the go, making friends with everyone, eating everything, cucumbers, hummus, brownies, you name it.

Almost everyone at the BBQ had kids, and I asked a fellow mom about it. She said, “who else is stuck in NYC on Memorial Day Weekend with no plans? The ones who it isn’t worth it to make plans and travel, the ones with kids.” True, but also, plans are TIRING!!! Baby A made it 10 blocks home until the meltdown began, and he cried the next 15 blocks straight until we made it home for a nap.

The next morning when our nanny came, she asked how our weekend was. I said, “I’m very happy to see you.”

This weekend, we have 0 plans and I could not be more excited about it.

Mom Life

Fast and Slow

May 21, 2025 2 Comments

I have learned a lot of things in the 10 months since A was born. Some things I have learned from experience, some from trial and error, and a good majority from Google and ChatGPT. I’ve learned practical skills, like how to dodge active parabolas of pee from an open diaper, and how long a bottle of formula can stay out at room temperature. I have also learned more abstract things, like patience, and SPEED.

I can say with confidence I have never moved as slow, or as fast, as I have in the last 10 months.

Let me tell you a story that inspired this post. About a month ago, I was on a glorious solo adventure to my favorite happy place, Trader Joe’s. I was at the checkout, chit-chatting away with the cashier, as one does at TJ’s, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw my empty basket falling off the side tray. Immediately without breaking conversation, I grabbed the basket to keep it from falling, but I was met with resistance. Turns out, there was a person attached to the basket, another Trader Joe’s employee who was collecting empty baskets. I reacted so quickly with my new cat-like reflexes, that it didn’t even occur to me that perhaps the basket was being intentionally moved. I started laughing and said to my new BFF, the cashier, “that’s how you know I have a mobile infant at home.”

I am QUICK now. Is A falling off the bed? Not on my watch. Is he trying to walk when he can’t quite yet and about to fall on the kitchen tiles? Not if I’m there. Is he trying to stuff my entire cell phone in his mouth as a teething toy? Ok, sometimes I am not quick enough with that one. My phone is covered in saliva about 20% of any given day.

I have become very fast, and I see EVERYTHING.

Sometimes, that speed comes at a cost. Example: last week, we were 10 minutes from bedtime, and I was trying to do all of the things that make noise, so I didn’t have to do them while he was sleeping. One of those quick-before-bed tasks is emptying the dishwasher because all of our things are glass and create loud noises when stacked in the cabinet. I am VERY fast at emptying the dishwasher. Too fast. This particular time, I broke a ceramic bowl. I have broken 5 or 6 things since A was born. Oops.

Other examples of speed? Preparing food in under a minute between when A is strapped in the high chair, and when he will unquestionably have a melt down because he doesn’t have food in his mouth within 60 seconds. Also an example of my speediness: folding laundry, making formula, washing all bottles, showering, putting the toys away, and watching an episode of The Pitt during one afternoon nap.

As I mentioned before, though, I have also learned to be veryyyy slow. I used to bring my phone when I would put A down to sleep. This was because I was breastfeeding and bored, but also because A didn’t know anything about phones. Now, phones are his favorite thing in the world (remember the saliva), so I spend a majority of my days hiding my phone from him and often from myself, where I can’t find it for hours. Anyway, my point is, I can no longer bring my phone when I’m putting him to sleep. That means every night, and twice a day for naps, I have at least 20 minutes of feeding a bottle while I stare at the wall, or close my eyes and just breathe. I don’t think I’ve done that in my entire life. I am a veryyyy on-the-go type of gal. I am NOT the breathe and stare at the wall type of gal. Well, I guess I am now.

I have also learned to sit and watch A while he covers his entire body, hair to toes, in food. I calmly pick up his spoon from the floor every time he drops or throws it and give it back to him. This goes on for about 30 minutes, 3 times a day. Every day. I honestly don’t know how I do it. I believe this is a superhuman power, worthy of commendation. I am thinking I should put it on my resume, although I may need to wordsmith it with a punchy action verb. I’m thinking, “Persevere and maintain serenity while child smears food on his person and the entire room 90 minutes daily.”

I am also now great at watching him watch things. Last weekend, I watched him watch the dryer for 10 full minutes. He was flapping his arms and squealing in excitement. I was sitting 5 feet away, phone hidden somewhere, watching him watch. One of our favorite evening activities is going to Lincoln Center and watching the fountain. Well, he watches the fountain. For many, many minutes. I mostly people-watch and judge the fashion of the opera-goers. Every night, and sometimes every morning, same walk, same fountain, same staring. When it’s raining and we can’t get to the fountain, we just watch the water feature in the lobby of our apartment building. For many, many minutes. Very slow. And I am thankful for every minute he is happy and squealing.

I won’t lie and say I never lose my patience. Sometimes I do. In fact, earlier this week after vodka sauce and avocado was all over the floor and I had picked up his spoon 13 times and given it back to him (without rinsing, who the hell got time for that?), I had to close my eyes and take 4 deep breaths. Every phase has difficulties, and my current absolute struggle is mealtime cleanups. But, eventually it gets done, and then we are back at the dryer or back at the box my espresso machine came in, flapping the box flaps up and down for 10 minutes.

I am sure someday I will remember these days fondly in all of their difficulties and slowness. I’ll wish that he spent more time crawling into my lap and covering my face with “kisses” aka saliva. For now, we just discovered swings last weekend, so that has been added to our repetitive repertoire. If you have other great ways to entertain an extremely active 10 month old, send them my way.